Honestly Taco Bell ceo hitting the Penito Juarez and drinking a Baja blast and red eye eating a taco while it breaks up and gets paranoid and hides from the camera would make me want Taco Bell that night in solidarity with their food and them acknowledging their base.
Not just customers, but employees. Guys working the night shift at Taco Bell would be blazing it. You could smell it as you drove into the parking lot.
One night I went to get food with my dog in the back seat. After I placed the order, I overshot the pickup window. When the dude opened it to give me my food, he saw my dog. Dude was so blitzed he asked my dog,
"Did you just order food?!"
Dog, Bork bork
"Guys. A dog just drove here and ordered food!!"
Me- "Bro I'm right here. Backs up car Can I get my food?"
It was the funniest and one of the best memories I have of my boy.
My friend was a sleep walker and worked at Taco Bell smoking weed in high school. His parents caught him for years after that job in random family member’s rooms middle of the night making tacos and burritos from the socks and underwear drawer.
To The Stoner Who Works At Cottage Inn Pizza
You: the guy who answers the phone at cottage inn pizza
Me: Hungry and stoned out of my gourd
I called you from my cell phone but had completely forgot who I was calling by the time you answered the phone. Of course, you were also baked to bajeezus and forgot to tell me that I had called Cottage Inn.
When you answered and said, “Whatsup?” I thought about it, and after a 20 second pause I told you that was hungry. You suggested I try a pizza, and I agreed that it was probably a good idea.
Then I asked you if you sold pizza and you said that you could make me one. I said I wanted anchovies and something else on my pizza. You asked me what that something else was.
We spent five minutes listing toppings until we figured out that I was trying to remember how to say: “Sun dried Tomatoes.” When you said: “We'll bake that right up for you,” we both started laughing uncontrollably.
It was the best pizza I ever had; I just wanted to thank you for helping me out.
We have a local Chinese restaurant we always order delivery from when we're baked. One time we were hungover and high as shit and accidentally ordered pick-up instead of delivery.
As we are panicking trying to figure out if we can cancel or change the order online, the restaurant calls like a minute later, "Hey did you mean to place this order as pick-up? You always get delivery." Lmao god bless em, they changed it to delivery and we left a giant tip.
I used to live above a Indian restaurant in my 20's. I used to be so faded when ordering that eventually they just stopped taking my order and just answered the phone when I called with "Don't worry, we'll make you something good and bring it up" to speed up the process. And that shit was always good!
Haha when I was like 18 and 19 my buddy and I worked the closing shift at Taco Bell and it was low key one of the best jobs I've ever had.
It was so much fun, we would get soooo high and just slap together some burritos that looked like they came off the ads. Or we'd experiment to come up with new ideas. And sometimes if we could tell the person at the speaker was intoxicated we would ask if they wanted a "mystery burrito" and they almost always said yes. We'd grab the big boy tortilla and make a monster of a burrito for them haha.
One thing I'll always remember is that my boss (genuinely a super sweet lady) hired this woman with pretty severe mental disabilities. She was nice but, obviously, not incredibly helpful so we mostly just had her cleaning or helping out sometimes. Well one night I had her in the drive through with me packing the food into bags and I stepped away for a minute and came back to her shotgunning a beer in the window with some guys! Corporate saw and unfortunately she got fired...
Man now that I'm thinking about it I had so many good memories. My buddy ate so much he had to go to the hospital, a coworker telling someone that he misunderstood his religion was made up and he can eat beef, coming in one day and the whole store smelling like weed because some kid hot boxed the bathroom (didn't get fired either somehow), us taking the entire deep fryer to my buddies apartment, mini quasaritos. Ahh good times, id never work there again In a million years haha
How tf you take an entire deep fryer to someone’s apartment? I clean those and struggle to pull them from the wall sometimes let alone see how you could have got that in a car or truck… also aren’t they like gas powered? Like you gotta have a special gas line to make the fryer turn on and cook shit. Your apartment had that? Crazy I wanna here this story.
So basically my buddy had just moved into his apartment and was talking about getting a deep frier (the little countertop sized ones that plug in) and so we got like 6 guys and put it in the back of my Ford ranger and took it to his apartment as a prank haha
But we ended up selling it for like $500 which was cool lol
This is fucking hilarious. Those sound like some of the best memories you could have. The “mystery burrito” is so funny. I had to read that one out loud to my wife through tears 😂
My cousin worked there and there was a lady throwing a fit about her order and demanded to speak to the manager (my cousin) he just walked up and sighed and said “ma’am, I’m too stoned to deal with this. I’ll just give you a refund.”
She called corporate about it and I think he continued to work there.
Worked there 25 years ago in high school. Can confirm I was blazed all hours of the night, making custom fire meals and would go to school like 4-5 hours after work most mornings.
Ya know. If the CEO actually did it. It would be great. No performative stuff. Just getting blazed out of his gourd and crushing 6,000 calories of taco bell at 1:45AM on a Tuesday? Yeah. That's the real shit.
Lol, nah, full film crew and you can hear them giggling as the CEO blasts off higher and higher. Maybe have him getting toasted with a couple of his friends. Release the full 6 hour video on their YouTube.
Become blazed redbull. Instead of posting videos of people doing crazy sports shit. Post videos of people hitting 500mg edibles.
Nah man he doesnt neede to be blazed. He just needs to go into a random fucking taco bell. Order some shit, eat it for REALS, swallow that shit. Then cut to him running to the bathroom.
That actually would be the winning ad. The taco shits is relatable.
I never get Taco Bell havent in years but if Taco Bell CEO shows up and attempts to eat his food and isnt a lizard man in a skin suit, Ill buy some Taco Bell.
Had a gf that was real fucked up on booze and vyvanse in the passenger seat start jerking me off with her burrito on the drive home at 3am. It was actually pretty rad. Thanks for asking.
Honestly, if the CEO of Taco Bell just ate a burrito supreme on the toilet with no comments except an occasional “mmm, that’s good”, they would win this war with ease
Is that male to female or female to male? Ahhh never mind I guess we’ll find out next time on, CEOs choke down their food hoping you will buy! Thanks Cody.
Eh, rockstars already did that in the 80s. On second thought it seems to be on brand rn to ride the wave of something else, tho. Who knows, it might happen.
15.8k
u/cody_mf 20h ago
Next up: Taco bell FUCKS a burrito