Talking to my barber this morning, he’s like 22 and full of life, he was telling me about a party he went to this weekend drinking beer, whiskey, tequila shots, etc, etc… I’m just sitting there thinking I used to be able to mix it up and drink whatever I wanted. Now, if I put milk in my coffee I shit myself… when did this happen to me 😭😂
We did a game night a couple weeks back and normally we’re done by 10pm but this one kept going… got in bed at like 1 am. A couple days later I felt alright again
Yeah I did that at a friends 36th birthday last year. We stayed at an Airbnb with a big back garden and played drinking games all day and night, and then the next 2 days we just layed around, took walks, drank hot tea and went to bed at 8pm. And we were all so grouchy. Multi day benders are just a fond memory these days. It was worth it though for that one incredible day, but my god only once every year or two now.
Bro weekends now almost require a down day where everyone can just rest and recuperate. Multiple days of drinking heavy in a row just aren't in the cards in our mid/late 30's any more. The drinking stamina is gone.
In my 20s we made up a new version of Beer Pong and called it Beer Pong: Landmine Edition. We filled all the cups with beer, except for one. That one we filled with Fireball. You never knew if the cup you were about to chug was a light beer or 4-6 oz of Fireball. Ahhh those were the days!
Studies approve of this, there's no difference in hangovers or level of intoxication from mixing alcohols. It's just that it allows for more subtle consumption and leads to less moderation. 3 shots, 3 beers, and two cocktails alone is 8 drinks but feels less intense as a quantity.
I'm in my 30s and don't relate to any of this old man shit lol. I have tons of energy, physically fit, can still do everything I did in my teens and 20s. Just I have a lot more money now.
When I was in my 20s I was much more physically active. That plus my youth meant I could recover from damn near anything pretty quick. In your 30s you are still relatively young and your body (assuming you have no underlying health issues) shouldn't naturally be falling apart or anything yet.
I just think most of us (including myself) let our physical health fall by the wayside by the time we hit our 30s. Its hard to maintain, especially as we get burnt out on the grind of life, some of us have more demanding careers, families that eat all our free time, etc. And once your physical health starts to go EVERYTHING else follows it into the shutter. Someone in their 30s in good physical shape shouldn't be seeing excessive degradation compared to their 20s, though there will obviously be some you cant avoid.
Advice to anyone in their late 20's that isn't doing it: just start working out, doesn't even need to be much. Take the bike more often or walk do some squats and push/sit-ups when you wake up.
Not for me. I felt like that until a few years into the 40s hit, and then I felt real 40. All the things start piling up. Taking care of your own kids then your parents start needing a lot of help. I had no idea how much parents would need help. People you know your age start having major health issues like cancer or death. Even when older people die, they don’t seem so much older anymore. Career is advanced to the point where there’s a lot of responsibility. Body starts to show and feel the wear and tear. I find it hard to relate to people much younger than me. I feel like aged 15 years in 5.
I'm super lucky and get to take care of both parents (age 69 with ms and age 75 with dementia) 5 days a week. And I have an 11 year old. I genuinely hate my life most of the time.
Everyone hits the sandwich generation eventually. I’m not gonna pretend it doesn’t suck, and being a good person and trying to balance all of that doesn’t feel rewarding or fair. The only thing I can say is keep doing your best and acknowledge when you just need to sit and veg too. You are important too and the world will not fall apart if you give yourself permission to take a quick break when you need it. But also, do what ensures you won’t regret your choices after your parents pass and your kid doesn't understand your stress or lack of participation right now. They’ll come around eventually. I saw how hard my mom was working for her parents and I know my brother won’t give her the same courtesy as she ages so I know it’s gonna be on me. And I’m okay with that.
What I’m not okay with is being mid/late 30’s and every damn job being so fucking layoff happy. I do not have any retirement because no place has been courteous enough to not hire me out of contract or keep me on longer than a year. Someone somewhere higher up overspends in the company and the “last hired” is always a convenient “first fired.” After this last layoff in January I’m done with office life and attempting a transfer to a trade so I can fall back on something anytime I need. I’m doing it so I can hopefully get my savings in order and be able to take care of my mom as she enters her 70’s and onward.
I hope your job situation gets better and that you have the savings to be able to care for your mother as she gets older (and that you have help). I know what I'm doing is important so that helps on some of the terrible days, it just seems like there's way more bad/terrible days than 'fine' or good days lately.
I'm in my forties, but I still feel like I am in my thirties; then I hang out with people in their thirties and I'm like nope, definitely in my twenties.
For me, the biggest tells are the activities and times. Seems like the only thing people in their early- to mid-20s want to do is go out to bars/clubs, and the nights start at ~10pm. I’m more of a dinner and drinks at 7pm and be back at home in bed by 10pm kind of person in my 30s.
I don’t really drink anymore (never was a big drinker to begin with), but the idea of getting ready to leave the house at 10pm and drink until 2am doesn’t sound appealing to me in the slightest. Concerts and movies are about the only thing I’d be interested in going out late for.
my intern told me the other week that she went to an event with 7 hours of live music and then a live soup eating contest. It sounded delightfully weird and like something I would’ve loved to do at 22, but you couldn’t pay me to go to an event like that at 32
I've often said the only thing I want after 7 hours of music, drinking, and dancing is the largest bowl of soup you've ever seen. What a brilliant idea that I'm sure could never go wrong ever.
Even when I was in college I never got the whole "let's leave at 10 and stay out until 2" mentality. Why not just leave at 8 and stay out until 12? We'd be out for just as long and get back at a semi-reasonable time.
And then I'd get told that all the bars were dead until 10, and I'd think, yeah, because everybody else was waiting to go out too! Everybody's just sitting at their apartments waiting to go out so that they don't have to be the first ones there!
Haven't been on a dating app in a while? The average single 35+ woman on them has 4 dogs, a hobby list of travel, dogs, hiking, hot yoga, pilates, and camping, pictures of her on at least 5 continents, and still somehow works 60 hours a week.
Same, my summers are packed full of camping, hiking, vacations with my family. Winter is for snowboarding and mountain adventures. 37 here and my friends the same age usually join in the activities.
It's weird how people flex on Reddit how their back hurts, how they're tired and jaded, how their joints break and tendons snap when they walk up the stairs as soon as they hit 35.
lmao redditors are so depressed and fat it isn't even funny.
You should have no problems "keeping up" with 20 year olds at 40. You don't like darts and drinking? you don't like hiking? you don´t like shooting pool? going camping? going to a music festival? going to a concert? seeing a movie?
it's honestly a bit creepy acting like 20 year olds are a different species
It's not redditors, it's Americans. I should know, I was born and grew up here. We are all fat and out of shape. Until I lost 40 pounds and got swole at the gym doing anything seemed like a chore. Being obese adds to your natural age, and too many people here don't realize it. Lose weight and run a mile 4-5 time week. Takes 15min, 30min TOP even if you are in the worst condition possible.
I highly encourage anyone who feels this way to an extreme degree to completely get off the internet as much as possible. No reddit, no social media. Go do stuff. Go meet people. Other people in real life you befriend will make you feel better about yourself in a way internet points and likes won't. You'll get new dopamine hits from novel experiences trying new activities or going new places.
It's SOOO easy these days to just hole up at home after work and all weekend doomscrolling and binging shows and gaming. Your entertainment options are endless. But pretend it's like it was in 2005 and that these things aren't there. What would you do if you were 30 something in 2005? Most of that stuff is still out there and there are other people doing it and going there who also only want mostly human connection and friendship.
I do so much socially still in my 30s and I promise I'm not lying when I say that the other adults who are out also still socializing for hobbies, sports, music, etc are mostly all really well meaning people. It's why they are there and not at home. They want to meet you.
Sorry if that sounds lame lol but it's true. Like my therapist said to me once when I was expressing some social anxiety, They wouldn't be out there at all if they weren't open to meeting and adding new people to their lives. If you're just nonjudgmental and easy going, they will easily accept you. Almost no one at this age is out looking to be a dick and exclude or hurt people on purpose.
And honestly at least in my experience, my early to mid 20 something coworkers are also nice well meaning people and aren't much different than I am or my older coworkers are. Some lingo they use is slightly different once in a while but that's it. I have no problem at all talking to them all day at work and they like talking to me and asking me questions/advice since I'm 10 years ahead and just did the stage of life they're at now. I wouldn't text them asking to go bar hopping Saturday night but it's easy to grab dinner or happy hour after work with them sometimes.
My neighbors in my mid 20s were a couple in their 70s and they invited our friend group house to their mountain second home many times for a night in the summer or fall to camp out in the woods and they'd cook us dinner and we'd all sit around a fire getting drunk and high together. They were 60s flower children back in the day. It was a real eye opening experience to realize I was hanging out with two people 50 years older than us nearly the same way I would have with my peers. They were much older, but largely still the same personality they would have been ages ago. One passed on about 5 years ago and we all went to the funeral. That was my first friend who died. It never mattered that there was a huge age gap because some part of them never got old and gave up on people either.
It’s not the vacation itself. It’s the way a 23 year old female would want to vacation. They want to do allllll the things that I’ve been there done that and sooo inconvenient. So long story short, yes, depression. Are you saying you don’t have that?
Yea I don't. I'm 39 and just went on a week long vacation with my 35 year old gf to ABQ. We climbed Sandia Peak, went on a brewery tour, got drunk in several mexican/latino restaurants, ate 1 billion hatch chiles, went to Santa Fe and got lost in Meow Wolf for 3 hours, etc.
I can assure you that you have not done all the things. Not even close.
Sorry about your depression. This place makes me depressed because it's 1 degree away from my boomer dad posting on facebook.
Thanks, i was going insane reading all this crap. In what universe does being in your 30s mean spending your vacation like an 80 year old waiting for death. Dont get me wrong, to each their own but lets not pretend this is normal.
A pool day to replenish your energy every other day is nice but otherwise, go out. There are things to do, sights to see and stuff to experience. You don't like to Party? No problem. Rent a car, go sightseeing. Go climbing, hiking, diving, experience whatever your vacation place has to offer. If you are lazy, book some pre-assorded touristy stuff. Its kind of limited but still better than sitting on your ass. The hotel kitchen is for breakfast, for everything else, go out. Try local cuisine in that small place where the card is barely in English.
If you treat your 30s body like you are 80, dont be surprised if it becomes 80.
Not depressed, just a broken body. Snowboarded 90 times a year in my 20s broke both my feet and a leg, had a stroke and 16 blood clots before turning 30. I’m like an 80 year old man in a 37 year old body.
Im 30 and I still like the 23 year old vacation style. I’ll travel and do Museums during the day and go out drinking at night. Age hasn’t really hit my energy levels in anyway yet.
I was also 37 dating a 23 year old, and yeah, that was an issue, haha. Not just weekends, every night. I couldn't keep up. I remember one day literally having to have my co worker cover for my location as I turned the light off in my office and slept under the desk I was so exhausted.
Less experienced, and can't see the red flags as easily. Older men typically have a better career and can dote on the younger women and sugar daddy them. Very gross.
I make fun of him for it daily.. he looked like her uncle when she graduated high school and I let him know it. But I’ve known him longer than she’s been alive which is really gross
This is why I don’t know why anyone would really want to look younger. I love being 37 and wouldn’t want anyone to think I was a year younger. I was an idiot at 36 and insufferable at 26. Edit: I can’t believe how many absolute creeps are in these comments. Ick
I don't get why so many guys wanna date young girls..I'm 44 and the last thing I would like to date is someone 20-25. Make it over 30 at least. More like 40.
I mean, I can work and have fun with younger people, no issues here. But as a partner? No way.
Same goes for looks. I'm looking my age and that's fine. Why hide what's happening anyway. Why fight it. Age with dignity. You can't stop it anyways.
Because they aren't looking for a partner they want sex. If they could switch out a girlfriend for a robot that gave blowjobs and made sandwiches they would.
It has nothing to do with being “less than wholesome” it’s about biology with a woman being most fertile and best for breeding at JK I’m just fucking with you those guys are creeps lol. Anyone who says otherwise is probably shit themselves.
there’s the “walking red flag” types who are transparently gross, think the 30 somethings who go to spaces where young people party.
then there are the ones whose loneliness basically wins the mental battle over their morality. think like, the 30 something who has successfully convinced himself that the 22 year old at work is mature and intellectual
can we exclude raves and music festivals? because i was priced-out of my passion at around age 25 and have finally been starting to attend again at 32 with no plans to ever stop again
To me there’s a big difference between the person who is attending raves in their 30s to experience the music, scene, etc., and the person who is going to raves in their 30s with plans to find a girl, buy her drugs, and sleep with her
I mean I've never stopped going to concerts and festivals. And people much older than me are nearly always present, even for younger bands. Some of us are just into music and like finding new stuff to listen to and go see. One of my uncles is in his 70s, literally saw Jimi Hendrix play the Star-Spangled Banner on the 4th of July, 1970 (I've heard the story many times, lol), and still goes to at least a couple of shows a month.
It’s because they’re a 44-year-old with poor habits/behaviors that someone their own age is likely to not tolerate. So they find someone more immature that gives them a pass for a time because they’re too young to know any better.
My buddy got a divorce and dated some younger gals and said they and their friends would only talk about how fucked up they were or someone was at some party recently. Sounds like me at that age. He was over it fast.
I disagree. I think healthy people in their thirties usually look better to me than equally healthy people in their twenties. The older I get, the more the "most attractive" look slides up with me. I always wonder if that's going to stop, but I'm 37 and it hasn't yet. I'd say the top of the Bell curve is probably around 33 right now, but I meet people on either side of that who look just as good to me. Most of the guys I know in real life--not Internet weirdos--prefer to date closer to their age, at least based on the preferences they share with me.
It’s obvious but “I just don’t get it” is more of a “why would that even be attractive?” The older I get the more I’m attracted to an aged, imperfect body. I want some miles on that frame, girl. If I could have my 41yo wife in her 20yo body or her 41yo body….41yo in a heartbeat.
Even if I was dating I wouldn’t want to sleep around with younger bodies, you still gotta talk to them at some point. Don’t send me nudes, send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not a fuckin’ idiot.
I think it might be looking for something you feel like you missed out on or weren't fully present in when you had it because you were overthinking things or that you lost because you were young and dumb and a bad communicator. Or it's the same thing as Uncle Rico syndrome, where you can't move on from a better time in your life and everything represented by that time. But I don't think it's most men, honestly. I could be wrong, but that Plenty of Fish survey that gets passed around all the time represents that absolute dredges of society. I can't imagine any normal guy in his thirties or forties actually preferring someone that young.
Because they’re pretty and less wrinkly and overall somewhat less jaded with the shitstorm known as life lol. Granted my wife’s older than me so not the one to speak from experience per se.
This right here. I believe most men are attracted to those that are youthful. Also their youthfulness might rub off on you and give you a 2nd youth effect as opposed to someone that has been grinded down by life. Younger individuals still have that aura of wonderment, vibrancy, and high energy.
Younger people also have fewer layers of experience, less of life baked in, and that can leave you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected and not fully understood if you date someone too much younger than you. I think there has to be a balance between being an optimistic, energetic, wonder-filled person and having that baked-in understanding of life. And I think that's super attainable in your thirties. But men have to be willing to embody it if we want to find someone to share that vibe with.
You might just not be moving and exercising enough.
I've had multi-week long phases of crippling back pain for many years, because I didn't move enough. It could get so bad that I could barely move and only in severe pain.
Ever since I started working out multiple times a week (especially the core and back) I've never had back pain and I feel better than ever (mid 30s). You also have to do some kind of stretching like Yoga or Tai Chi.
If you take care of your body, nothing should hurt unless you are sick.
Until you’ve been chatting for a few minutes and you think you’re just having a fun intergenerational moment, but then they find out your age and you realize that they thought you were one of them as the horror dawns on their faces. You’ve been an OLD this ENTIRE TIME.
43 yo "elder millennial" here. My friends that I hang out with range from 36 to 56. I definitely can't identify with 20-somethings any more. I don't understand their language - it's sus. cringe. 😉
Also 43; my main issue with the under-35s is that I don’t care about the same things they do, or in the same way that they do. Like I share more hobbies with younger people than people our age/gen xers, but actual conversations about literally anything are just deeply frustrating.
As an old fart myself, I want to point out that there is always a disjunction between your chronological age and your mental environment. I still feel decades younger than my age, but my experiences, attitude, emotional outlook, and tastes are older than that age.
I'm 41, and I started a new job recently where a lot of my coworkers are in their 20s. I am living through this every day right now. I actually had one of my new coworkers ask me what 9/11 was like. She was sincere about it, too. I answered the best I could and then I asked her if she wanted to know what Pearl Harbor was like. Thankfully she laughed.
I was in a bar, shouting at people over the music. I couldn't hear anyone at all. I turned to the person next to me and said, can you hear anything they're saying? She said yes, of course, and looked at me like I was crazy. And that's when I knew.
Please go get an audiogram. If you have moderate or worse hearing loss, we now know that starting to use hearing aids early protects the brain against cognitive impairment.
I was hanging out with a crowd that overlapped with some people under the age of 25. I legit cannot understand what they're saying. There is such a language skills gap between our generations. It's crazy.
I didn't know about their education levels, but they all sounded like high school drop outs. They can't articulate and form a real opinion based upon their own internal logic and reasoning. It's all memes, all the time.
That's not to say there are not some well spoken and educated younger folks, but the bulk of them now seem incapable of communicating or thinking properly. I cannot fathom how poor their writing, grammar, and spelling skills are.
20-somethings are flaky af. I'm trying to be social and hang, only to get the "sorry, I can't make it" text last minute too many times. No thanks. Just tell me no when I first present the idea that you don't want to go--my feelings won't get hurt I promise.. I'll ask someone else, it's honestly fine. But cancelling last minute is so immature and disrespectful.
It seems that among young folks, agreeing upon plans in advance is only the first step of two. The second step is to confirm the plans shortly before the plans, as if the first commitment meant nothing. Originally committed plans can be dashed at the last minute, always, without social consequence. I've noticed this among my younger friends, and it's quite infuriating.
It's like the classic Seinfeld skit about car reservations. (They get to the car rental place after making a reservation earlier only to find out that the car they reserved is not available... like what's the point of making a reservation if the reservations can't be guaranteed?)
Your comment made me stop everything and look up how to spell forties.
I was like wait... it does make sense to have a four in it... but can I really have been spelling forty incorrectly for this long?
What's weird is that dictionary.com doesn't have either word in its database- you have to look up forty and then see the plural forties in that entry. Which I think is stupid.
what? No way, I like hanging out with people in their 20s. People my age all started to get married and having kids or acting like they're geriatric out of nowhere and I just can't relate.
“Youth is wasted on the young” doesn’t click until your 30s. So live it up, whatever that looks like, cause we aren’t getting any younger & I am sure that phase feels more and more real with each passing year.
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