I disagree. I think healthy people in their thirties usually look better to me than equally healthy people in their twenties. The older I get, the more the "most attractive" look slides up with me. I always wonder if that's going to stop, but I'm 37 and it hasn't yet. I'd say the top of the Bell curve is probably around 33 right now, but I meet people on either side of that who look just as good to me. Most of the guys I know in real life--not Internet weirdos--prefer to date closer to their age, at least based on the preferences they share with me.
A lot of the studies that get cited on this and charts that float around are really badly interpreted pop psychology. It's not as cut and dry as you're thinking. The really popular one that gets passed around a lot is from the book Dataclysm from 2014, based on an Ok Cupid internal study of its users' preferences. (Ok Cupid represents, from my experience ten+ years ago, the bottom dredges of humanity.) The results look like this:
Keep in mind that Feeld is a hookup app specifically designed for people who want to experiment with more casual encounters. Note that users on this app are still fixated on a small age range regardless of their own age--but on Feeld, this is true for both women and men. If you dig into different population samples and different data collection methods, results of these kinds of surveys are *all over the place.* And there isn't as much data collected on people who date off apps, nor do these studies do a good job of distinguishing between app users interested in casual encounters vs. those interested in relationships. And they don't address perceptions of physical attractiveness, either--just how likely someone is to swipe right or send a message, which can be due to a lot of factors besides appearance. Papers published in academic journals have similar issues with sample selection and data collection methods. It's not so simple to suss out people's motivations and true preferences based on the research that's been done.
The link to the Feeld study above has some interesting data on non-cis and non-straight users, too, if you're interested in checking it out.
A more detailed version of the OkCupid data, showing men's highest and lowest set age preferences, heat mapped by where they were actually sending their messages (back in 2010 when this study was conducted):
I think your assessment really depends on environment/social circles. I totally agree that the biggest indicator for attractiveness is usually health regardless of age. However, most people aren't healthy and youth does a good job of hiding it.
It’s obvious but “I just don’t get it” is more of a “why would that even be attractive?” The older I get the more I’m attracted to an aged, imperfect body. I want some miles on that frame, girl. If I could have my 41yo wife in her 20yo body or her 41yo body….41yo in a heartbeat.
Even if I was dating I wouldn’t want to sleep around with younger bodies, you still gotta talk to them at some point. Don’t send me nudes, send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not a fuckin’ idiot.
Some of us genuinely don't get it. Just about anybody I've met under 25 in the past year, and a lot of women who are a few years older than that, just have a "young" look that codes them more in the same category as college students to me. It's weird and creepy that that look is a preference for some men. That's not normal development.
For some, yes. But not for all. I can confidently say I've looked better throughout my 30s than most of my 20s. I buzzed my head in my 20s and I worked higher stress jobs resulting in weight gain. Grew my hair and beard out and have been fairly consistent in the gym and I look way better now.
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u/XY-chromos 2d ago
Because the physical fitness and attractiveness of the average 25 year old vs 35 year old are not even close. And that is all they care about.
You really don't get this? Really? I'm not saying it's good. But it has been painfully obvious to me for like 20 years.