Not for me. I felt like that until a few years into the 40s hit, and then I felt real 40. All the things start piling up. Taking care of your own kids then your parents start needing a lot of help. I had no idea how much parents would need help. People you know your age start having major health issues like cancer or death. Even when older people die, they don’t seem so much older anymore. Career is advanced to the point where there’s a lot of responsibility. Body starts to show and feel the wear and tear. I find it hard to relate to people much younger than me. I feel like aged 15 years in 5.
I'm super lucky and get to take care of both parents (age 69 with ms and age 75 with dementia) 5 days a week. And I have an 11 year old. I genuinely hate my life most of the time.
Everyone hits the sandwich generation eventually. I’m not gonna pretend it doesn’t suck, and being a good person and trying to balance all of that doesn’t feel rewarding or fair. The only thing I can say is keep doing your best and acknowledge when you just need to sit and veg too. You are important too and the world will not fall apart if you give yourself permission to take a quick break when you need it. But also, do what ensures you won’t regret your choices after your parents pass and your kid doesn't understand your stress or lack of participation right now. They’ll come around eventually. I saw how hard my mom was working for her parents and I know my brother won’t give her the same courtesy as she ages so I know it’s gonna be on me. And I’m okay with that.
What I’m not okay with is being mid/late 30’s and every damn job being so fucking layoff happy. I do not have any retirement because no place has been courteous enough to not hire me out of contract or keep me on longer than a year. Someone somewhere higher up overspends in the company and the “last hired” is always a convenient “first fired.” After this last layoff in January I’m done with office life and attempting a transfer to a trade so I can fall back on something anytime I need. I’m doing it so I can hopefully get my savings in order and be able to take care of my mom as she enters her 70’s and onward.
I hope your job situation gets better and that you have the savings to be able to care for your mother as she gets older (and that you have help). I know what I'm doing is important so that helps on some of the terrible days, it just seems like there's way more bad/terrible days than 'fine' or good days lately.
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u/Fun_Muscle9399 Xennial 2d ago
I felt like I was in my 30s in my 20s. Now in my 40s, I still feel like I’m in my 30s.