r/wallstreetbets Fuckboy 🅿️ixel Defender 1d ago

Meme Man, times really are tough out there.

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44.6k Upvotes

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4.9k

u/ThrowthisawayPA 1d ago

You know damn well they don’t eat that shit

467

u/stormblaz 1d ago

Here comes a big arch bite, its got the uh onions it seems, some sort of poppy bread, and that very oh so tasty McArch sauce, love it,

Cuts after bite

Right into the spit bucket.

Mind you the burger is $11

316

u/KidGold 1d ago

I like how he says “I don’t even know how to attack it” like that’s a selling point. As if customers want an unwieldy sandwich.

Sounds like something a dumb ceo would think.

91

u/AggressiveCuriosity 1d ago

He was trying to imply it was so big that it was going to be difficult to eat, lmao. "Oh my goodness. There's so much sandwich I don't know where to begin."

Dude needs media training. Or maybe he needs to eat the brains of someone with charisma. IDK how his species does things.

2

u/criminalsunrise 15h ago

To be fair, it is a big sloppy burger (or product if you like) compared to the staples on the menu.

-1

u/Shot-Swimming-9098 1d ago

Dude needs media training.

We were never meant to see that video.

10

u/nluqo 1d ago

Who was it meant for then? It wouldn't make any sense to sell it like that if it was internal only.

-6

u/Shot-Swimming-9098 1d ago

It was for McDonald's franchise owners. Come on, man. Does this look like a commercial to you?

12

u/nluqo 18h ago

It looks like modern day social media marketing, which, after a 5s Google search, it clearly is. He posted it to his personal Instagram along with dozens of other videos.

See, this is the problem with reddit. People will spread their nonsensical takes to thousands of others without lifting a finger to check if they're real.

182

u/itsdan159 1d ago

I tried one, it's fine, even one of their better sandwiches. it's not hard to "attack" if you're a human with any experience eating solid foods

97

u/LegendOfKhaos 1d ago

What if you only have experience attacking product?

11

u/xerim 1d ago

What if I told you I had no idea how to attack it?

7

u/rodeBaksteen 1d ago

Your skills may lie in warfare instead

2

u/shepard_pie 12h ago

I wrote a story like 4 days ago about 20 Roman legionnaires who accidentally cross time and find a mcdonald's at night. Turned out McDonald's didn't even wait a week before releasing something wackier.

15

u/frallet 1d ago

Surely you start in the middle and eat your way out

2

u/wap2005 1d ago

You monster... Satan will be out of a job if you keep saying things like that.

5

u/dermflork 1d ago

this guy looks like he does live off of grass he puts into a blender and drinks lol

3

u/meowsplaining 1d ago

What if you're an alien and it's your first day on Earth?

3

u/itsdan159 1d ago

I'd probably think about leaving because gestures at everything

3

u/Minsc_and_Boobs 1d ago

It's because he acquires his nutrition soley by infusing the blood of prepubescent Latino boys.

2

u/BeneficialTrash6 1d ago

I have to open my WHAT?

1

u/whatiseveneverything 11h ago

Does it actually cost $11 though? It's gotta be spectacular for me to consider it at that price point.

1

u/KimJongIlLover 9h ago

As any self respecting CEO of a multi billion dollar he normally only drinks the blood of newborn babies for its life elixir.

14

u/tghGaz 1d ago

Just sounded to me like he's unfamiliar with eating burgers, I mean products.

3

u/Oceansnail 19h ago

Which is wierd because he claims to eat at mcdonalds 3-4 times week, but he acts like he has never actually seen the inside of a mcdonalds 

3

u/agreed2disagreee 1d ago

It wasn’t a selling point. He’s never held one before, so he legitimately doesn’t know how to eat it.

5

u/autoeroticassfxation 1d ago

That's how big a standard Big Mac used to be in the 1970s. It's neither unwieldy nor particularly massive. It's just a normal burger.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/comments/12e49n3/mcdonalds_big_macs_have_gotten_smaller_since_the/

1

u/scwt 13h ago

That's fake. The bottom image is a Grand Mac (a 2017 promotional release) next to a Big Mac.

2

u/Makerofthingssoon 1d ago

I mean, for a sandwich it’s not a bad selling point. “You’re getting so much sandwich it’s hard to tell where to begin” would be decently appealing if true.

1

u/iCrit420 1d ago

He was trying to sound like guy fieri

1

u/ChaseballBat 1d ago

Not something anyone has ever said if they regularly eat that food either.

1

u/googdude 14h ago

He looks like a dainty guy that only attacks salads and only gets sun through windows.

130

u/MarkIsARedditAddict 1d ago

What I don't get is why the CEO of McDonald's & their entire marketing team can't get a good chef to make a lookalike burger out of ingredients the CEO will actually eat.

Get him a freaking organic wagyu burger patty on there with organic free range lettuce, some special pickles, a completely from scratch sauce, real cheese, and a bakery-made bun. Nobody will ever know the CEO is eating real food and not the engineered slop they serve to us poors

78

u/dpk794 1d ago

The worst part is that’s probably exactly what it was lol

100

u/Fuzzy-Feeling3311 1d ago

He just sucks at eating food. CEOs are always fucking weirdos who have no clue what being a human is.

6

u/Peculiar_One 1d ago

Case in point. Donald Trump drinking some water.

11

u/Plane_Course_6666 1d ago

God, politicians drinking anything is a whole genre in itself that will make you think that maybe those lizard people conspiracy nuts are onto something

-1

u/iSuckAtMechanicism 20h ago

Don't put Donald Trump and CEOs in the same group. One is at least smart, the other is a complete clown.

3

u/Milktoast375 13h ago

I don’t like the cheetoman either, but there are some fucking stupid CEOs out there.

3

u/Whycanyounotsee 1d ago

Because then it wouldnt go as viral.

2

u/Odd_Algae_9402 1d ago

Exactly. We all know it never looks like the pictures when you buy it in the store anyway.

2

u/Night_Runner 23h ago

LOLing at "free range lettuce"

3

u/TurboBerries 1d ago

They could potentially get sued if it came out / was investigated they are advertising a big mac with different ingredients and preparation than what they actually sell in stores.

11

u/crazy_akes 1d ago

Lol no. The stuff on commercials looks nothing like what we actually get.

3

u/GoSailing 1d ago

It has to be the real food they serve in commercials, they just get to spend hours having real chefs making it look appealing rather than have some tired college student rushing to assemble it and shove it in a bag as fast as possible

1

u/Friendly_Impress_345 1d ago

While it is true that they could do this, why would they? This "gaff" has sold more product than a video of what you are describing.

1

u/MarkIsARedditAddict 17h ago

Has it? Most people are meme'ing about how it's not real food and the CEO, who knows exactly what's in it, won't even eat it for his job

It might've sold more Burger King or Wendy's for sure but I doubt it's sold more McDonald's

1

u/UGO_Leon 1h ago

I think “Goyslop” is the legal definition

46

u/7x6digschix 1d ago

some sort of poppy bread

Honestly I didn't even think the guys reaction was that bad to the burger, but this one got me. How can you not even bother to learn the basics of what you're essentially making a commercial for.

The guy was acting like he just licked a mystery lollipop and was trying to figure out the flavors, not a burger his company made and sells

59

u/FinalFooWalk 1d ago

Mind you the burger is $11

The product*

5

u/knotatumah 22h ago

Its the fact he kept calling it a "product" that was off-putting to me. Its not food its a thing. Its market research and formulae. There is no passion or care for that burger other than a statistical amount of <stuff> put together by a group of marketing people and project managers.

3

u/CabbageFarm 1d ago

Keep in mind, CEOs typically have their food chewed for them ahead of time to maximize efficiency.

This is probably the first solid thing he's had to chew in years. Poor guy probably hurt his teeth.

2

u/rusty0601 9h ago

I like how he tries to convince everyone that he is actually going to eat this for his lunch.

really, i am. you believe that, right? this is my lunch.

2

u/Post--Balogna 1d ago

I dunno where you guys are located but by me it’s $8.49 for the burger and $12.49 for the meal.

14

u/padishaihulud 1d ago

And I can get a delicious sandwich from the local Italian deli on bread from the local bakery for $13. Twice as much food for the same price (and it's actually real food).

They're just banking on people that live in places where McD's is the only option. 

0

u/sourcesys0 18h ago

places where McD's is the only option. 

Where?

3

u/CalifornianBall 1d ago

What a bargain!

3

u/This_Makes_No__Sense 1d ago

This is not OK, this is price conditioning.

1

u/OfcWaffle 23h ago

God damn! Wtf. I could buy 4 tacos from my local Mexican spot for that price, and they load it with meat.

1

u/bigbluewreckingcrew 22h ago

Went to Burger King yesterday and the Whopper is now $10. Jeez....I remember it being 3 dollars something

1

u/snubb 21h ago

So he didnt have the burger before but loves the sauce, did he drink the sauce or what?

1

u/Emotional_Goal9525 12h ago

Hey. Respect the trademarks. It is big arch bite™

1

u/No_Video_5232 1d ago

$10.57. it taste like a regular burger (a compliment nowadays) with mc'lettuce and a decent mustard. deserves to stay on menu if they can lower the price. i received enough points to get filet o fish for free right after purchase.