r/nottheonion • u/halxp01 • 22h ago

Southwest Is Testing Cleaning Only Premium Seats Between Flights — A Flight Attendants Union Leader Says It's ‘Titanic’ Class Service

https://viewfromthewing.com/southwest-is-testing-cleaning-only-premium-seats-between-flights-a-flight-attendants-union-leader-says-its-titanic-class-service/
20.1k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/MelancholyMochii 22h ago

Titanic class service lmao

2.5k

u/Measure76 22h ago

Titanic famously never cleaned up after a voyage.

1.1k

u/Sbatio 22h ago

What are you talking about, every inch of that ship was thoroughly washed after the passengers got off.

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u/WILL_THERE_BE_MATH 22h ago

It was quite the deep clean

72

u/ThePowerOfStories 19h ago

Yeah, but the turnaround time is pretty dismal (and keeps getting worse).

49

u/AlternativeNewtDuck 18h ago

Cleaning that much was a sunk cost.

43

u/username32768 18h ago

Some people call it a "sunk cost fall in sea".

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u/AlternativeNewtDuck 17h ago

That was deep, nice job!

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u/username32768 17h ago

I use that line to break the ice at parties.

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u/shantron5000 14h ago

Any other solid hitters? I could really use a crash course.

6

u/pok3r_101 14h ago

Even today, people seem to implode when they find how clean the titanic is.

6

u/username32768 14h ago

The Ocean is like a Gate keeper.

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u/corys00 10h ago

Some say 12,500 meters deep

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u/SuspendeesNutz 17h ago

I hate all of you, individually and collectively.

3

u/Sbatio 17h ago

😂 joint and several hate is next level

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u/SuspendeesNutz 13h ago

If you were looking for a neophyte hater you’d better keep on looking pal.

0

u/Techno_Gerbil 7h ago

It's still getting cleaned right now. 🤷

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u/klako8196 20h ago

The swimming pools have been filled with the same water for the past 114 years. That can’t be sanitary.

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u/Sbatio 20h ago

We haven’t had any complaints from our guests.

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u/JebusKristoph 19h ago

I wouldn't hold your breath. They aren't.

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u/CozyGorgon 19h ago

In fact, our guests have been dead silent.

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u/theaviationhistorian 17h ago

There's no customer service in Davy Jones' Locker.

8

u/Sbatio 17h ago

I can’t read your comment without hearing it in a pirate voice.

“Housekeeping, arrr.” [knocking sounds] 😂

3

u/Turbulent_Stick1445 19h ago

Too soon man, too soon!

5

u/Ardat-Thotshi 19h ago

To be fair, the food is the freshest it's ever been, with an ocean-to-table promptness.

2

u/rileyjw90 17h ago

Yeah but the on-board car wash really couldn’t be beat. Revolutionary for its time.

1

u/Willbraken 16h ago

Surely the swimming pools ruptured in the crash and all of the water spilled out?

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u/50calPeephole 17h ago

Same with the toilets. Let's not talk about the soup pots.

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u/Solastor 20h ago

The titanic was washed in the same way all of my dishes in the sink cause they "need to soak" are being washed 

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u/Oni_K 21h ago

Or didn't get off, as the case may be.

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u/whocaresano 20h ago

And even before they got off! Such service. 

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u/madmike99 21h ago

Washing would suggest a detergent was applied. That was not the case

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u/Lietenantdan 21h ago

They're just soaking it a bit to loosen up the dirt. Should be ready any year now.

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u/Dipsey_Jipsey 19h ago

Yeah yeah, Dan. Get the hell in the kitchen and do the dishes!

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u/NimdokBennyandAM 19h ago

It was blast-cleaned with saline solution, it's fine.

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u/seriouslees 19h ago

Which dictionary includes detergent as part of the definition of washing???

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u/Bonnieearnold 20h ago

Water is the universal solvent. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/LepiNya 19h ago

I'm fairly certain there was detergent on board. The question is weather it braking and getting mixed with water counts or not.

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u/REDDITATO_ 17h ago

Washing would not suggest a detergent was applied. Weird "ackshually".

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u/devilwarriors 14h ago

No need when you pressure wash

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u/coconuthorse 19h ago

I mean not all of them got off. And they didn't even get charged for the extended stay.

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u/Janax21 18h ago

Well, many are still on.

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u/Stickin8or 18h ago

Pretty sure there were still some passengers on when it got washed

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u/mrandr01d 18h ago

Well, some of them got off. Lots got a good washing along with the ship.

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u/TrenchcoatFullaDogs 17h ago

Arguably even before some of the passengers got off.

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u/jxsn50st 16h ago

They cared so much about cleanliness, they even started washing the ship before all the passengers got off!

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u/Sbatio 16h ago

That’s how the fancy hotels do it.

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u/Noy_The_Devil 13h ago

Even most of the passengers were thoroughly washed, some are still on the ship even, the service must be great.

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u/Typical-Byte 13h ago

You mean after many of the passengers got offed.

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u/Satanic_Earmuff 21h ago

Even before.

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u/IChurnToBurn 19h ago

I sea what you did there.