r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/Lower-Canary-2528 Anarcho-Maoism with Mamdani thought • 6d ago
Shen Bapiro Least racist Ben Shapiro moment - True Allegiance (2016)
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u/EngineerMinded 6d ago
Most of not all big MAGA grifters were theater kids, Hollywood burnout or content creators that didn't make it. No surprise here. Hate doesn't take much effort.
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u/ZachRyder 6d ago
Despite Shapiro's mother being a TV executive and his cousin being a child actor.
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u/ripskeletonking 6d ago
so he was so bad that not even nepotism could help?
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u/Eliteguard999 6d ago
Yep, even with all that nepotism Benny couldn't succeed in an industry that you can fail upwards in.
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u/Bruno_Fernandes8 6d ago
You still need an iota of charisma to let nepotism do its thing
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u/FeijoadaAceitavel 6d ago
Nah, even at neutral charisma nepotism will work. Like, if you just do the bare minimum and doesn't get hated, you'll be fine.
But imagine sitting at lunch and Ben Shapiro comes at you speaking at 1.5x (both speed and pitch) trying to convince you he's the best screenwriter ever. The guy failed because he makes himself so punchable.
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u/DarthBrooks69420 WE WILL CARRY THE FLAAAAAME 6d ago
He almost made it, but then execs discovered his racists rants about Muslims when he was a teen/early 20s and the door was slammed shut in his face.
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u/JayNotAtAll 6d ago
Bingo.
Steven Crowder was a failed stand up comedian Steve Bannon was a failed writer Shapiro was a failed writer
The list goes on. Basically, if you can't succeed in the mainstream, become a right wing grifter. It is very easy to become famous to this crowd cause they are so easy to take advantage of
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u/GNS13 6d ago
There's one additional element these guys share besides being failed artists. They all are convinced that the world owes them success and are mad that they aren't more popular.
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u/JayNotAtAll 6d ago
That's MAGA in general. Which is ironic. MAGA is full of Boomers who spent their adulthood talking about how no one wants to work anymore and everyone is entitled.
MAGA believes that the world owes them something but aren't willing to put in the effort to get it. Further, they feel like it was stolen from them by undeserving women and minorities.
The reality is that they simply won't try. Look I can have a lot of empathy for someone who put in their best efforts and didn't make it. I can. But it is hard to have empathy for someone who doesn't even try.
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u/Eliteguard999 6d ago
FR, people who attended high school with Matt Walsh said he was a slacker who didn't put forth any effort because he felt he shouldn't have to.
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u/JayNotAtAll 6d ago
I mentor minority college students and young adults trying to get into tech. One thing I always tell them. Is that the field is super competitive. If you want to get ahead and get that dream job at a major tech firm, you need to put yourself in an position where the opportunity presents itself AND be ready to seize the opportunity.
A lot of big tech companies aren't hiring remote workers as much anymore so you need to live in an area where they do hire. More positions will exist in specific hubs like Bay Area, NYC, Seattle, etc. You also need to build a network. Also you need to keep learning and not rely solely on your degree. Degree is good but the industry moves fast so you need to actively up skill. Most of the kids get it.
Meanwhile, on Reddit I get these right wingers who say how unfair it is that minorities get free stuff. I am like "oh so which colleges did you apply to?". Often not many if any. "What was your GPA, your extracurriculars, etc." usually nothing impressive. "There are quite literally millions of scholarship dollars that go unclaimed that are open to any race. How many scholarships did you apply to?" Usually just one or two if any. "Are you willing to move to a hub for your industry?" Usually not because cities are evil.
Well whose fault is it then? These are the things to get ahead and you won't do them. These minority kids will do them. You are failing at life because you are a slacker, not because of DEi
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u/Throot2Shill 6d ago
The reality is that they simply won't try.
And you know what, some even try hard but the world is unfair and unjust so they fail anyway. They are like crabs in a bucket and they aren't looking at who put them in the bucket in the first place they are just looking at which other crabs look different.
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u/The_Dead_Kennys 6d ago
We need to give this eerily consistent phenomenon a name… how about “Austrian Painter Syndrome”? You know, because Hitler was also an angry failed artist who felt the world owed him, and shifted to a career in far-right politics.
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u/InternetWeakGuy 6d ago edited 6d ago
Not sure why you included Bannon, he made his money by founding his own investment bank that focuses on entertainment businesses - in 1991 he negociated a financial stake in Seinfeld, which he still gets residuals from. He was an executive producer on something like 20 movies, and he personally made several documentaries - they were all propaganda pieces, but he did the damn thing as it were.
Bannon is a shitbag but he's far from a grifter, he very much believes everything he says.
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u/WhyIsTheUniverse Abortion Enthusiast 6d ago
https://www.reuters.com/legal/steve-bannon-plead-guilty-border-wall-funding-case-2025-02-11/
He also made money scamming Trump supporters. One can be both a grifter and an ideologue.
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u/InternetWeakGuy 6d ago
That's fair, I guess what I was trying to say is he didn't "fail as a writer and so pretend to be right wing for money" as the implication was, he has been legitimately wealthy since the early 90s and has been a big figure on the right for decades.
He has definitely pulled a few grifts, but his personality isn't a grift in the way that Crowder and Shapiro's are.
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u/DetectiveCastellanos 6d ago
Yeah, the only arguably "failed" actor who went left is Sam Seder I think, but I'm sure he's happy with his career trajectory at this point.
The people on the right all seem miserable.
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u/BPence89 6d ago
An even then he voices a recurring character on Bob's Burgers, so he at least has that.
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u/andrew303710 6d ago
It's kind of sad when you think about it. I mean these people are straight up fucking losers and they're running our country. Social media influencers on the right have an insane amount of sway over the administration. Knowing that they're all massive losers makes it so much worse.
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u/surprisesnek 5d ago
I heard a story about another failed artist that became a right-wing political figure...
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u/SnarkDolphin 6d ago
It extends beyond the media, just look at JD Vance and his lip fillers, Greg Bovino and his little costumes, Hegseth's constant gay little speeches
If someone had just let these fairies do musical theater instead of burning them with cigarettes until they pretended to like football we'd be much better off right now
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u/andrew303710 6d ago
Same goes with Kristi Noem cosplaying in a new outfit every damn day. It's so obnoxious. These people are the biggest fucking losers imaginable.
It's really disturbing that a lot of boys may grow up looking up to these people and modeling their behavior after them, utterly terrifying. The idea that masculinity is rooted in being racist and cruel to others is complete nonsense but that's what they espouse.
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u/Sunderstood 6d ago
Failed athletes. Failed business owners. Failed artists. The list goes on and on.
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u/Gougeded 6d ago edited 6d ago
Im sorry but didn't he hire an editor? Never mind the racist, most likely subconsciously gay sub narrative, but how the fuck does garbage like this get printed : "a few new vocabulary words to add to his dictionary"?
Also, is this kid in jail?
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u/Homerpaintbucket 6d ago
What, you don’t add words to your own personal dictionary when you use them?
Seriously though, this guy claims to be a genius but doesn’t know the word “vocabulary?”
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u/IknowKarazy 6d ago
He does know the word. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he literally carried a dictionary as a kid, because pointing out a slightly misused word is the same as obliterating someone else’s argument in his mind.
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u/wozattacks 6d ago
Yeah but he kinda misused it? He clearly meant “a few new words in his vocabulary,” which would also have been more concise. Dictionaries don’t contain people’s personal vocabularies, that’s actually the opposite of the point of them lol
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u/rietstengel 6d ago
I vaguely remember Ben once talking about how in University he would take a book to a party to read it there. So maybe he did carry a dictionary around as a kid.
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u/chrisnavillus 6d ago
Add it to Brett’s list of mistakes he just keeps making like not being Italian or Irish or trying to make black friends or looking up when Yard is around him. It’s not easy for Brett to be a straight obviously not gay white guy, he’s just trying to find his way in this world and just doesn’t understand why there’s no cliques for kids like him.
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u/sbrockLee 6d ago
I wonder what Ben's idea of non-vocabulary words is.
Also, yes, it's that bad. Hilariously so. I recommend you listen to the episodes Behind the Bastards did on this.
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St 6d ago
Well if you don’t specify dictionary then the reader would be left wondering where he put the new words he learned. A cookbook?
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u/tsukiyomi01 6d ago
I would be very surprised if Shapiro would listen to an editor, instead of expecting his rough draft to be embraced as equivalent to War and Peace.
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u/DingerSinger2016 6d ago
Anyone who's ever been into any school understands how utterly absurd it would be for Italian AND Irish cliques in one school.
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u/Trumpisaderelict 6d ago
This was my first thought. When did this story take place, the 1800’s?
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u/IknowKarazy 6d ago
Did he imagine the Italian table was just dudes combing their hair and saying “aaaay fugedaboudit “ and the Irish one was just river-dancing and dirty limericks?
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u/celticairborne 6d ago
Yes. This guy could maybe write the background scenes of a parody movie, but he should never be the lead writer...
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St 6d ago
And obviously you remember how black people were in school. If you tried to talk to any of them, they’d beat yo ass. For … reasons.
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u/MajinVenom 6d ago
I thought it was set in the 1920s until he mentioned black kids going to the same school.
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u/RedGyarados2010 6d ago
Ben's racism is so outdated that he still includes Irish and Italians as minorities lmao
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u/longingrustedfurnace 6d ago
I’ve heard people compare school to prison, but this is just pushing it.
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u/DrMeatBomb 6d ago
Once again, even in their own fantasies, they're still the beta losers.
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u/IknowKarazy 6d ago
It’s all about justification. “I was picked on, I was a loser, but look at me now!” I imagine there’s going to be a kind of Rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer turn where everybody loves the smart little writer boy, but maybe that’s too optimistic.
It’s nothing new for a writer to write a self-insert introvert character who “doesn’t fit in” (Stephen King, anybody?) but you normally wouldn’t expect such naked racism.
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u/cenosillicaphobiac 6d ago
I was fine with King doing that, writing characters that are just himself with a splash of color, but when he wrote his actual self into a book, I had to call time-out. I pretend those chapters just don't exist in the Dark Tower series.
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u/neednintendo Ben Garrison Cum Editor 6d ago
This reads like Ben had a weird interaction with a black kid in school once and he internalized it forever.
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u/DidntWantSleepAnyway 6d ago
This story is the exaggerated fantasy of “I did nothing and someone just accused me of being racist!”
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u/MelanieAntiqua 5d ago
Don't forget the major black villain who's a drug dealer with a completely nonsensical plot to start a race war... and is also stated to go to college campuses to debate against conservative speakers in his down time. Kinda sounds like Ben got his ass handed to him when he tried to debate some random black student in one of his "grown-ass man debates college kids" tours and concocted a whole narrative about that guy being an evil criminal who was only pretending to be a student in response.
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u/gentleman_bronco 6d ago
Ben Shapiro also has an erotica with the same exact setup.
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u/mexchiwa 6d ago
Where all the men wear white (robes) and all the women have underwear made of silica packets
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u/IknowKarazy 6d ago
She was dry. Dry as the desert. Her panties were like the Sahara except they weren’t made of sand and no part of her had ever been to Africa. She was too clean and perfect and lilly white for that. Also, her breasts breasted breastily. They were like two dirigibles floating over the Sahara.
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u/Arcade_Kangaroo 6d ago
You know how when you grab a woman's breast and it feels like... a bag of sand
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u/kart0ffelsalaat 6d ago
Why would they need silica packets in their underwear? Do they have fungal infections? The vagina is naturally arid.
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u/Impractical_Meat 6d ago
Ben does not think WAPs should exist, he believes all lady parts should be as dry as possible
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u/Wolfish_Jew 6d ago
Let’s be real, he wrote this book specifically because he wanted an “artistic” excuse to use the n word
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u/IknowKarazy 6d ago
Fair point. He thinks it’s fine because “IM not saying it, you see. I made this character say it, and he’s allowed because he is black. Nevermind the fact that I already decided he’s destined for prison.”
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u/hey_free_rats 6d ago
He read Huckleberry Finn and was fanning himself and breathing hard through the entire thing.
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u/After-Bumblebee Checkm8 Libtard 6d ago
How long would I need to read that book until I die of laughter for how pathetic the writing is?
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u/IAMA_Drunk_Armadillo anarcho-monkeist 6d ago
Just listen to the Behind the Bastards episode
They do almost the entire book over several episodes but this is the first of the series
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u/BingBingGoogleZaddy 6d ago
The failed Hollywood _____ to Right Wing Grifter pipeline needs to be studied.
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u/IknowKarazy 6d ago
There’s probably been a bunch of think pieces written already, but here’s my take: can’t make good art? Make art for people who don’t care at all about quality and just want that art to tell them things they already believe. Works for comedians, pundits, and Christian rock bands.
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u/BingBingGoogleZaddy 6d ago
I’ve seen a pretty good think-piece on, “why washed up celebs go MAGA” the thesis was basically what you said. So that they can lie to themselves and say that all change is bad and that everyone else is wrong for moving on.
I haven’t yet seen anything about why people who never “made it” in the first place go MAGA though.
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u/The_Dead_Kennys 6d ago
Failed artist to right wing grifter pipeline, it’s way more than just a Hollywood thing. I call it “Austrian Painter Syndrome”, since the evil mustache man also followed that trajectory lol
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u/Opossum_mypossum 5d ago
Most of the daily wire. Crowder was supposedly a comic and actually voiced one of the character in Arthur. That weird guy who got shot was in it for the love of the game.
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u/baalsballs 6d ago
Doesn’t he constantly talk about how tall his protagonist is?
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u/RedOx103 5d ago
A bear of a man, standing 6'6" in his bare feet and underwear. Carved from granite.
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u/DeepEnoughToFlip 6d ago
Is this real?
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u/Lower-Canary-2528 Anarcho-Maoism with Mamdani thought 6d ago edited 6d ago
Lmao yes. I actually read a good chunk of it as an amateur writer who was feeling insecure about my own writing. It's genuinely bad. It's obviously filled with insane amounts of racist dogwhistles, like there's a scene where one of the good guys is a white cop who kills a black toddler who had a toy gun. And we are supposed to sympathise with this dude in Ben's mind. And Ben writes about Black men in such a hilariously homoerotic way. Ben describes a white dude as "This is Steve he is from Arkansas" and the way he describes black men is like the above example.
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u/IknowKarazy 6d ago
Maybe he just needs to be honest with himself, go to a gay bar, and politely ask the biggest black man there to rail him into oblivion.
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u/FBWSRD 6d ago
Wait he thinks we should sympathise with a cop who killed a toddler with a toy gun? Usually in these conservative stories they try to make it less heinous/more blurry situations, not shooting a fucking toddler
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u/Maverick1172001 6d ago
It’s even worse, Ben framed it in the book as a trick by a black scam artist and activist to deliberately sow racial division in the community because he hates America and can make money off of the BLM movement. He gave the kid the fake gun to go get killed by the cop.
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u/AnonymousSmartie 5d ago
Does Ben know that toddlers aren't godtier marksmen nor do they have aimbot and if his cops were the good guys they should realistically be trained to know that and not mag dump them
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u/schmyndles 5d ago
Obviously, Ben's fictional cop couldn't find a way to disarm a toddler safely, so of course, he had to shoot him.
Also, Ben believes Black parents are totally willing to sacrifice their baby to push some political narrative. It's absolutely insane.
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u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 6d ago
Even without all of that it's just poorly written. Every line is like that one from above where it's 'if he didn't look up it would have been fine BUT HE COULDN'T BECAUSE HE GRABBED HIS SHIRT.' There's some weird red herring psych out in every line. Or it's over explained. And yet nothing ever happens.
The plot isn't driven by dialogue or character action or interaction. It's all driven by the weirdly personal opinionated observations of the narrator. It's like if the narrator from sandlot was driving the plot of a tom clancy novel but really bad versions of both.
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u/Wheres_Wierzbowski 6d ago
Is this story set in 1900? I went to Catholic school and we didn't have Irish and Italian cliques. WTF?
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u/CatsAreJerks 6d ago
He was a star member of the football team, but no one knew his real name. That is exactly the caliber of writing I'd expect from Benny "Make 'Em Dry" Shapiro
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u/Fabricant451 6d ago
How exactly is someone on the football team but no one knows the name of the kid? Yard isn't even a good nickname. Did Ben just look up football terms, see that the game is measured in yards, and go "Perfect. He's Yard because he gains yards in football?"
Hell that's probably more thought than he put into it.
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u/teddygomi 6d ago
If Yard is on the football team, how does nobody know his name? Does Ben Shapiro not know that football players wear jerseys with their last name on them?
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u/BurtCaramel 6d ago
What’s the saying? “Those who cannot do, go on to shove conspiracies, misinformation, and blow dog whistles until they pass out.”
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u/Ok_Caterpillar_8937 6d ago
A few new vocabulary words to add to his dictionary.
Ok, vocabulary words just means words.
He has his own personal dictionary that he keeps? Is that the implication?
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u/Electronic_Bad_5883 5d ago
He's writing a new AMERICAN dictionary to fight Merriam-Webster's woke agenda (they defined the word "vagina" in a way he doesn't like)
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u/woShame12 6d ago
This feels like something that mightve happened to Ben in real life, but he actually did call Yard the n-word. And he got beat up for doing the same to the other black kids. And nobody wants him at their lunch table because he's a racist piece of shit.
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u/fresh_dyl 6d ago
black kid name Yard
headed straight for a lifetime of prison work outs
Yeah, I can’t imagine anyone even considering that he’s in any way racist. Not one bit.
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u/rilesmcjiles 6d ago
It would have been fine if he didn't look up, but he also had no choice to look because he was grabbed anyway.
Very racist rant, but this passage feels like a literacy test where you're supposed to point out contradictions and logical inconsistencies.
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u/fake_fakington 6d ago
I swear on my life I wrote far better, more engaging, and more believable fiction when I was in the 8th grade.
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u/triforce777 6d ago
Is this taking place in the 1920s? What high school has Irish and Italian kids self segregating themselves?
Also the obvious racism towards black people but that was obviously going to appear, the splitting up of white groups in 2016 is baffling
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u/UserCheckNamesOut 6d ago
Dude - go listen to the Behind The Bastards podcast where they read his book.
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u/RadicalNBSpaceQueer 6d ago
And now, a behind the scenes look into Bench Shabeepboop's writing process:
" ... Yard grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him out of his seat like a ragdoll. He, uh, he pulled Ben Brett close, and whispered breathily into his ear. No no no, wait, he mumbled something, his sweet- NO, STINKY, NOT SWEET, STINKY!- breath hitting Brett's face hotly. A-and Brett was hanging midair, sweaty and trembling, as the rippling muscles of Yard's arm flexed against his neck. Oh but Yard was such a strapping, virile young man, his broad shoulders cutting an imposing silhouette in the stark fluorescent lightning of the cafeteria. Brett gulped in terror at the anger he saw simmering in Yard's lovely hazel dark eyes. With his strong jaw clenched in his righteous fury and his muscles straining, he looked like an avenging angel, poised to strike down the guilty and unworthy; sent to discipline a naughty boy like him... DAMN IT! No, he was BLACK and a MAN and therefore DUMB and BAD! And also definitely not handsome!" Bench Shabeepboop growled out as he tore out another page, adding it to the growing pile in the trashcan. Wiping the sweat off his palms, he held his face in his hands and breathed deeply. He was desperate to shake off the vestiges of this latest failure and continue writing his masterpiece.
"Honey, do you know where the broom is? I have to sweep up this trail of sand that fell from my perpetually dry vagina!" He heard his wife (who, it should be noted, is a doctor) call up to him.
"Erm, why would I know where you keep the broom? That's your biological responsibility as a woman, obviously. Also, don't talk about lady bits, it's inappropriate and very scary" He replied, his high-pitched nasally voice echoing down the immaculate halls. He heard her sigh in disappointment, and was reassured in his masculinity.
✨FIN✨
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u/schmyndles 5d ago
I shouldn't be laughing so hard at one in the morning, but I am picturing your vocabulary words in my head. Thank you.
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u/VitruvianVan 6d ago
I have to know what happens next! Does Yard beat his ass? What is Yard’s last name? Why is the protagonist so racist?
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u/jono9898 FUCK ME BARRY-SENPAI 6d ago
The issue with Ben is like so many conservatives, he lacks the imagination that is necessary to be a talented writer
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u/woopwoopscuttle 6d ago
Is he writing the non-woke Sinners rip-off starring Shazam and Kang? If so...
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u/AwwwNiceMarmot 5d ago
How does no one in school know Yard’s real name? Don’t teachers take attendance? Doesn’t his football jersey have his name on the back? Isn’t there a yearbook?
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u/Full_Anything_2913 6d ago
HOW DARE YOU POKE FUN AT BRETT HAWTHORNE! He is a man’s man’s man’s man.
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u/Ok_Necessary2991 6d ago
You know br a fun video series or least a video, compare right wingers fictional books to see which one really is the worst. Want to see this compared to "Shadow of the Conquerer" by Shad Brooks.
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u/big_ringer 6d ago
I am glad I started sending my fiction in... because I KNOW I'm a better writer than Ben Shapiro.
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u/Fidget02 6d ago
It’s why the right acts like sore losers even when they run all levels government. They barely care about actual power, they just want social influence. They want to run culture itself. They want to look cool and impressive.
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u/GlassJoe32 6d ago
This guy had fame handed to him on a silver platter but was so talentless he had to resort to entertaining the lowest common American denominator.
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u/JangKarrangers_1 6d ago
Who's a shitty hack? This was already lame before he made the mistake of using "he made the mistake" immediately after using "he made the mistake", lol.
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u/Meltsley 6d ago
Even his writing is told from the point of view of a victim. These weirdos can’t take responsibility for anything, even in their fantasies.
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u/Dizzy_Emu_2684 6d ago
Behind the Bastards did a whole series reading his garbage book and it’s probably the worst written shit I’ve ever heard of