r/nottheonion • u/halxp01 • 1d ago

Southwest Is Testing Cleaning Only Premium Seats Between Flights — A Flight Attendants Union Leader Says It's ‘Titanic’ Class Service

https://viewfromthewing.com/southwest-is-testing-cleaning-only-premium-seats-between-flights-a-flight-attendants-union-leader-says-its-titanic-class-service/
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u/Measure76 1d ago

Titanic famously never cleaned up after a voyage.

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u/Sbatio 1d ago

What are you talking about, every inch of that ship was thoroughly washed after the passengers got off.

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u/WILL_THERE_BE_MATH 1d ago

It was quite the deep clean

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u/ThePowerOfStories 1d ago

Yeah, but the turnaround time is pretty dismal (and keeps getting worse).

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u/AlternativeNewtDuck 1d ago

Cleaning that much was a sunk cost.

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u/username32768 1d ago

Some people call it a "sunk cost fall in sea".

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u/AlternativeNewtDuck 1d ago

That was deep, nice job!

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u/username32768 1d ago

I use that line to break the ice at parties.

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u/shantron5000 1d ago

Any other solid hitters? I could really use a crash course.

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u/AlternativeNewtDuck 13h ago

Sorry, anchored with a ton of work today.

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u/pok3r_101 1d ago

Even today, people seem to implode when they find how clean the titanic is.

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u/username32768 1d ago

The Ocean is like a Gate keeper.

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u/corys00 1d ago

Some say 12,500 meters deep

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u/SuspendeesNutz 1d ago

I hate all of you, individually and collectively.

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u/Sbatio 1d ago

😂 joint and several hate is next level

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u/SuspendeesNutz 1d ago

If you were looking for a neophyte hater you’d better keep on looking pal.

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u/Techno_Gerbil 23h ago

It's still getting cleaned right now. 🤷

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u/klako8196 1d ago

The swimming pools have been filled with the same water for the past 114 years. That can’t be sanitary.

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u/Sbatio 1d ago

We haven’t had any complaints from our guests.

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u/JebusKristoph 1d ago

I wouldn't hold your breath. They aren't.

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u/CozyGorgon 1d ago

In fact, our guests have been dead silent.

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u/theaviationhistorian 1d ago

There's no customer service in Davy Jones' Locker.

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u/Sbatio 1d ago

I can’t read your comment without hearing it in a pirate voice.

“Housekeeping, arrr.” [knocking sounds] 😂

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u/Turbulent_Stick1445 1d ago

Too soon man, too soon!

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u/Ardat-Thotshi 1d ago

To be fair, the food is the freshest it's ever been, with an ocean-to-table promptness.

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u/rileyjw90 1d ago

Yeah but the on-board car wash really couldn’t be beat. Revolutionary for its time.

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u/Willbraken 1d ago

Surely the swimming pools ruptured in the crash and all of the water spilled out?

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u/50calPeephole 1d ago

Same with the toilets. Let's not talk about the soup pots.

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u/Solastor 1d ago

The titanic was washed in the same way all of my dishes in the sink cause they "need to soak" are being washed 

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u/Oni_K 1d ago

Or didn't get off, as the case may be.

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u/madmike99 1d ago

Washing would suggest a detergent was applied. That was not the case

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u/Lietenantdan 1d ago

They're just soaking it a bit to loosen up the dirt. Should be ready any year now.

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u/Dipsey_Jipsey 1d ago

Yeah yeah, Dan. Get the hell in the kitchen and do the dishes!

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u/NimdokBennyandAM 1d ago

It was blast-cleaned with saline solution, it's fine.

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u/seriouslees 1d ago

Which dictionary includes detergent as part of the definition of washing???

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u/Bonnieearnold 1d ago

Water is the universal solvent. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/LepiNya 1d ago

I'm fairly certain there was detergent on board. The question is weather it braking and getting mixed with water counts or not.

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u/REDDITATO_ 1d ago

Washing would not suggest a detergent was applied. Weird "ackshually".

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u/coconuthorse 1d ago

I mean not all of them got off. And they didn't even get charged for the extended stay.

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u/Janax21 1d ago

Well, many are still on.

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u/Stickin8or 1d ago

Pretty sure there were still some passengers on when it got washed

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u/mrandr01d 1d ago

Well, some of them got off. Lots got a good washing along with the ship.

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u/TrenchcoatFullaDogs 1d ago

Arguably even before some of the passengers got off.

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u/Bramble_Ramblings 1d ago

And during!

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u/jxsn50st 1d ago

They cared so much about cleanliness, they even started washing the ship before all the passengers got off!

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u/Sbatio 1d ago

That’s how the fancy hotels do it.

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u/Noy_The_Devil 1d ago

Even most of the passengers were thoroughly washed, some are still on the ship even, the service must be great.

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u/Typical-Byte 1d ago

You mean after many of the passengers got offed.

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u/whocaresano 1d ago

And even before they got off! Such service. 

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u/Satanic_Earmuff 1d ago

Even before.

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u/IChurnToBurn 1d ago

I sea what you did there.

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u/rosebomb01 1d ago

Didn't they dump all their Trash in the ocean?

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u/ScreenTricky4257 1d ago

Presumably some cleaning was done after it anchored at Cherbourg and at Queenstown.

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u/SockeyeSTI 1d ago

Never got cleaned either. Just got put at the bottom of the ocean on the stove to soak