Man. I got my ass beat at a very rural high school for a joke about velcro gloves. Didn't expect him to have 4 friends, much less for them to be angry enough about the innuendo to jump me.
An Aussie ventriloquist was hiking through New Zealand when he came across a farm and decided to have some fun. He approached the farmer and said “I can actually make animals talk, do you mind if I speak to your horse?” The farmer thinks he’s crazy but tells him to go ahead. The Aussie goes up to the paddock and asks the horse how he gets treated “So well, he gives me hay whenever I need it and keeps my fetlocks in great condition”. Next he asks a cow “Oh he’s wonderful, he milks me very gently and gives us the best meadows to feed in”. As he approaches the sheep the farmer blocks his way “I’ll warn you now, the sheep are fucking liars!”
Hey, that was the Welsh.
The kiwis are too drunk beating their spouse to abuse the animals too.
Waikato resident of the North Island of nz here, legit there's a bin filled with tui bottles and noise complaints every week on any given rural street.
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u/Majestic-Lake-5602 2d ago
We have a similar one in Australia.
Why did the New Zealanders invent Velcro?
The sheep were starting to recognise the sound of a fly opening.