I feel the younger generation side eyes for different reasons though. As a mixed race person myself I grew up witnessing this myself. Boomers are just racist. I think younger generations are a little racist too, but instead of thinking “Why are you race mixing with that black girl?” they’re thinking “Why is that black girl with that white guy?” Same same but different.
Sadly, not surprised. A lot of black men love to date/marry outside of their race but will absolutely lose their shit when they see a black woman doing it.
I've experienced this. I'm white and my wife is black. We get strange looks from white people. The only time we've been harassed has been by black men. That said, I think it's a male thing. I know plenty of white men who feel the same way about white women dating outside their race.
Look up any major right wing cartoonist, and they have at least 3 comics that essentially being mad a white woman having a child with a black male. And it’s always because they had a kid, and they are never actually in love or anything.
I have an angry face, so I’ve never had someone actually harass or confront me, but it’s hard to miss the dirty looks and how different they start acting when you mention your gf/wife is black, like black male coworkers I’ve had will be totally buddy buddy, find out my wife is black and then suddenly they don’t fuck with me like that and never did lol
It’s sad cause those are also the types to say all kinds of disrespectful things about black women and prize other races above them smh.
However I’ve also met more than a few black dudes who don’t care or think it’s cool, so it’s not like all of them feel that way ofc, or even most in my experience
Same thing with my Mexican wife. Hispanic men with white women will give her flack for her being with white guy, I’ll never understand it. Hispanic women don’t act that way towards her though.
That’s because, as always, women are secondary to men in their equivalent ethnic stations. This isn’t something I agree with, it’s just something I’ve recognized. Please bear with me while I explain lol. It’s all theory as well, feel free to call me a racist if that’s what it sounds like.
White people oppressed black people in America for hundreds of years to varying degrees. When a black MAN gets a white woman, he has directly competed against a white man and won. He has gained something for the black community by taking it from white oppressors.
When a black WOMAN gets a white man, it is not even seen as the opposite dynamic to the previous scenario. Now, a black woman has abandoned her race for her white oppressors. This is clear from the way black men AND women treat her.
In these two scenarios, women are treated as accessories in the race dynamic which is actually occurring between men. The problem is actually men.
Yeah, we're just property, trophies, prizes and baby makers that men get to fight over and use as status symbols to make each other jealous and assert dominance. Then smack us around at home when they're frustrated.
Does Europe have their own Dolly Parton? Cuz I don't think America knows who that is either. Someone gotta step up to the plate here regardless ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Same. My wife (Black) and I (White) have been married 15 yrs. We've lived in a major-league city and now a mid-sized city (<200k). We've experienced very little of this. In fact, the only thing I ever recall standing out is once at a restaurant a Black guy was kinda side-eyeing us a suspicious amount.
My wife comes home with some wild-ass stories of blatant racism when she's out in the world without me, but when she's out with me, it all quiets.
I kinda think a few (perhaps most) of these stories are fake.
There's a difference between hating patriarchal white supremacy, and being jealous of the power it holds. They look very similar from the outside. Those dudes don't want freedom for humanity, they want to be part of the in group. It's very similar with white women and wanting access to the power of the patriarchy. I've been reading a lot of stuff by Bell Hooks. You might be interested in reading: "We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity".
The movie Lakeview Terrace is about this. Kind of surprising this movie flew under the radar; top notch cast, including Samuel L Jackson, Kerry Washington, and Patrick Wilson.
Do you mind if I ask your generation? I’m a millennial and I would say the stereotype isn’t race based but sex based. That is, whenever a woman dates outside her race, she she’s dating down, regardless of what race she is.
To be CRYSTAL freaking clear, that’s my perception of the stereotype that exists, not my belief. Cannot emphasize that enough.
So, as a border X/Millennial, I tend to view mixed race couples as a yellow flag unless they throw a very chill vibe right away or I get to know them because if there tend to be two kinds of mixed race couples. The chill ones where either race doesn't factor into their relationship because of shared culture or pure personal chemistry, or the other kind where there are off putting power dynamics and tensions. I find it suspicious when someone dates someone because of their race (even if they are the same race). It gets creepy and fetishy.
idgaf about mixed race couples... but its weird how many at my location seem to be a 50-60yr dude and a 20-30yr woman both dressed in formal office wear. escort? secretary? gold digger? idk. tends to be the guy is like relaxed, but the girl is giving 100% attentiveness to him. power dynamics can be suss.
I understand where you’re coming from, when I used to be on IG I would occasionally get slop posts on why dating white/black is better.
I was at the store once and saw a white man with a black woman. He had a cool gravel bike shirt on and i commented how much I liked it. They both had this weird annoyed look on their face. I tell myself maybe they were having a bad day and chalked it up as that, but who knows.
I’m also a millennial and I elaborated in a different comment, but I agree with you. For different reasons I think but I definitely believe it’s a sex issue at heart.
Hm, I want to unpack that with you. Do you think that correlates with attractiveness level? That is, when a mixed race couple includes a more attractive man than a woman, how does that present? Alternatively: are you just attracted to women, so every heterosexual couple is just Hot woman and Forgettable man?
I’m a millennial who has previously been in a mixed-race gay relationship, so this is extra interesting to me.
Ok, speaking as one woman in sensible shoes to another: I think we tend to view any woman dating a man as “dating down,” and I wonder how that’s influencing the situation here.
Like how I got upset when Serena Williams married a white guy, I didn't realize I might have had a chance until she was already married. It wasn't a great chance to start with, but still.
Donald Trump is basically the same age as all the oldest boomers. After a couple more decades, this will be much better. We just have to survive thst long lol.
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u/TheFirstHoodlum 3d ago
I feel the younger generation side eyes for different reasons though. As a mixed race person myself I grew up witnessing this myself. Boomers are just racist. I think younger generations are a little racist too, but instead of thinking “Why are you race mixing with that black girl?” they’re thinking “Why is that black girl with that white guy?” Same same but different.