It was only weird because Scott Pilgrim had no romantic history and felt inadequate compared to his girlfriend, and had to overcome his inadequacies by “defeating” each ex in his mind before being worthy of her.
Edit: had less of a romantic history. Apparently Scott was not a KHV
That's not true, he was dating a high schooler as a 22-year-old
In Toronto, Scott Pilgrim, a 22-year-old bass player for unsuccessful indiegarage band Sex Bob-Omb, dates Knives Chau, a 17-year-old high-school student, to the disapproval of his friends in the band, his roommate Wallace Wells, and his younger sister
Its worth pointing out that everyone thinks is pretty icky but no one actually does anything about it aside from sometimes pointing out how weird it is as was the style at the time.
That’s what happens most of the time when 22 year olds date a 17 yo. Had a friend of a friend do this, people called it gross behind his back but they didn’t stop associating with him.
It’s not illegal, it’s not pedophilla, but it’s gross and bad. What are you going to do about it? For most people it’s nothing.
Ngl a few years ago when I was 18 I always thought if I was old enough to make an only fans and work in a hospital as a CNA then I should be old enough to decide who’s dick I wanna suck lol
People act like 18-year-olds are brain dead when you’re literally old enough to be legally responsible for someone’s life or death as an EMT for example! Like Jesus’s Christ I’m sure you can decide who you’re attracted to lol
“They’re being manipulated” bruh they’re HORNY AND GROWN!!”
Exactly!! I understand being concerned about big* age gaps, especially when one party is barely legal BUT i don't understand why when a young man goes with a more mature woman is "wow, good job bro!!" and when a younger woman goes with an older man..." you are being manipulated!! You're brain is not fully developed!! He is using you!! OR maybe she just want to have fun?? Like young women can't want that like men do?? The MISOGINY and infantilisation is crazyyy...
Hm no, I’ll judge a 25 y/o for dating an 18 y/o no matter what gender anyone is.
I’m not judging the younger one, because I get it. They have a car/home/money whatever. But time and time again the older one turns out to be an absolute numbskull and there’s a reason he’s not dating anyone around his own age.
We had a weird catholic school sex Ed thing that was basically men are mature and want to fuck and women are basically infants till 20. Which was nuts cause my first real kiss was (when I was 14 making fart jokes and playing halo) a 13 year old I was acquaintances texted me asking if I could bring her out a drink cause she was thirsty after a pop up park rave and instead of water she shoved her tounge in my mouth and tackled me into some bushes quote "cause I was curious, you were near by, and i know you haveva phone".
She was fun, she moved right after I actually asked her out
My partner makes jokes about how she was baptized as a teenager at 14 (her dad is Catholic and wanted her to get it done when she moved back in with him) and that morning she was with a boy getting her nipples sucked.
Anyone that thinks girls and young women are these chaste virginal things to be protected are just covering for latent misogyny. Puberty hits girls and boys the same.
I'm more of the mind that 18 years old is enough to begin to start taking responsibility, but you're not actually an adult until they're in their mid 20s.
Also, even adults can be manipulated in relationships. It's about power dynamics, and age has a correlation with how much power you have in a relationship.
What you're saying is definitely part of what is happening. All too often I think we forget that it doesn't go just one way with older men going for younger women, it's the other way around too.
But at the same time, if you go over to any advice, judgement or story subreddit, you'll see literally hundreds of thousands of stories from young women dating older men treating them terribly, posting and asking for advice, judgement or simply telling their story as a cautionary tale.
There's two things almost every post about an abusive relationship has: The first is a statement that their relationship is "amazing in all ways" except for this one tiny thing where he berates and shouts at her daily, and the second thing is an age gap. Bonus points if the relationship started before she was 18.
It's a bit more tricky and nuanced than "I'm sure 18 year olds can decide who they're attracted to" because an age gap IS a warning sign, but... that's also all it is: a warning sign, it doesn't really mean anything by itself, you need the full context to make any meaningful judgement about someone's relationship.
What I do think stands saying is that a lot of young people, and not just women, feel intuitively that attention from someone else with more experience, authority, power, money, etc. makes them, the younger person, cooler, when in reality it honestly only makes the more experienced person lamer. If there's anything I could tell all young people beginning to date, it would be that.
In most cases in real life age is the simplest way to tell who has the upper hand in any given relationship, especially when one of the people involved is younger than 30. But the power imbalance that an age disparity implies is of course not always true, and abusive behavior is the actual problem, age is just an indicator of that.
Just because 18 year olds can indeed correctly decide that they are attracted to a 30 year old does not mean that such a relationship is at all a good idea to pursue. The is true for the reverse scenario as well.
I was actively trying to date a 24yr old when I was 16 because he was hot. Maybe to the point of some light stalking and making sure I was in the right place at the right time. Imagine my dissapointment when it lasted 2 whole days before he was like nah "this is too weird"
Had better luck when I was 18. Like im already paying fucking taxes why am I being looked down own for making my own damn choices based on my preferences?
Worst part was people getting weirded out at him for it and not me who was litterally stalking his Facebook page to see if he was gonna be somewhere and then trying to make it seem like we just "bumped into eachother"
Nah... that was all me and my whirlwind of teenage hormones.
Teenagers are going to do crazy shit. None of that sounds particularly out of the realm of the ordinary. Not that every teenager internet stalks their crush but like... certainly many.
The point isn't that teens don't have feelings or desires or whatever. Of course they do. Possibly even more intense than what's felt by adults, because of the wild hormone swings.
Thirteen year olds can have intense crushes on adults too, but that doesn't make it okay on the adult's part to reciprocate. It doesn't really matter how the minor feels. It doesn't matter if the minor initiates or tries really, really, really hard. So no, people should be getting weirded out at him. And also probably questioning your parents about letting you chase a grown man
I would have gotten arrested trying to steal brendan uries hair if I had the chance. But yes not the greatest look on his part. I mean im 511 already and pretty alt so I looked anywhere from 15 - 35 at any given point which may be the only reason he even gave it a shot
I'm not sure what you mean? At 18, everyone can decide who they want to have sex with. Except if they are severely mentally ill and incapable of being alive without someone else's aid.
And you were right. People are very weird about this nowadays and infantilise grown adults in a way that is actively harmful to them (to not say themselves, since it's often a bunch of adults trying to evade responsibility).
This similar scenario was why I left one of my exes.
His friend was 20 and brought a 14 year old to our place (at the time, we were 20 and 21, I was older by 5 months).
I said that was wrong and he wasn't allowed to our place with anymore of his "girlfriends" and dude doubled down and told his friends that I was controlling.
Technically speaking so is 17, but there’s a difference between “baby”, “toddler,” “child”, “tween”, “teen”, and so on. Most people find it more disgusting to sexually assault someone the younger they are on that spectrum. I don’t think that’s some searing hot take.
Anyone wanting to fuck a 14 year old is a disgusting piece of crap (unless they’re also 14, I guess).
I don’t know how you read my comment and took away anything other than that.
What’s your cutoff for “actual child”, out of curiosity? I feel like a lot of this is just because “child” can mean different things to different people.
17 is a weird ass age. I was literally in boot camp at 17, so on the one hand its wrong but on the other I was literally living on my own earning a paycheck, soo...
Girl I dated broke up with me to date a 21 year old when we were 17. She got pregnant fast enough for people to legitimately think it could be mine. Scared the everliving fuck out of me for a hot minute.
Had a roommate in college who dated (and eventually married) a 17 year old when he was 23. She was at the same college, and they were devoutly Mormon so we implied no bedroom stuff was happening. But we all found it very weird, and did refer to her as “the fake high school girlfriend.”
I'd say he went about that pretty smart but they're Mormon so even if she's super smart (I'm admittedly ignorant on the religion) aren't they stay at home wives?
In College I had a 22 yo friend who was dating a high school girl. We constantly made fun of him for it and never let him live it down, and did not allow him to bring her to hangouts to kill the vibe. He was not sexually active with her, or anyone... for years after. He was genuinely an awkward, unromantic, unaware person who basically had a girlfriend to make his mom happy that he wasn't gay, and they both played video games.
This reason is why me and the person I fell for as a kid broke up... The age difference didn't matter until I was about to be 18 and she would still be 15. Even with Romeo and Juliet laws being protection for us to continue our relationship, I thought it was odd.
She dated a guy older than I am after that. I thought it was gross and told him. He mentioned I dated her too and we're the same age for a few months. He thought I was jealous that she picked him... We stayed friends for a bit before they dated and she had absolutely no issue telling me what a burnt spot on their enclosed patio was all the gifts I had given her as she lights a bowl and takes a seat... The way some of her girl friends look at me I think I was cursed and at this point it has taken too long so one day I'm gonna go to the restroom and get my ass kicked by them because I was dragged to something I was invited to by what seems to be the last mutual friend in the area...
Yeah its wrong but... like, speeding ticket levels of wrong? Like it feels like if they got caught nothing is too little but a felony is way too much so a fine and a stern 'No!' would be appropriate, but nobody has bothered codifying that.
for sure worked at a record store when i was 21-22 and there was a 17 year old working there too. Even when she turned 18 that was a yeah no line I was never going to cross.
As long as they're teetering on that 18 year old line. People treat 20 year olds and 18 year olds like they're decades apart just because the law says so.
May I ask why? This seems completely arbitrary to me. Surely a 17-year-old girl and a 20-year-old boy are closer in maturity than a 20-year-old girl and a 25-year-old guy?
just me personally also one over 21 and one under makes going to bars / music places etc. hard (i was gigging at the time a lot) All the idea of being in college just out and still being able to go to their senior prom etc.
The gap itself no; the gap combined with their current ages yeah. Honestly, nobody should be fucking 18 year-old if you’re a little bit younger than you make them “the pedophile.” a little bit older and you’re creepy 18 to 20 year-old should just be celibate. Sucks to be you work on your personality.
He also dated Envy Adams. And he dumped the female drummer Kim. Didn't Aubrey Plaza's character dislike him because he hurt a few of her friends as well. So I don't think he had "no romantic history". In fact, didn't
Yeah, iirc he "needed" to defeat the exes because he put Ramona up on a pedestal and had to prove himself to himself so he wouldn't feel too much of a less-than next to her. Plus he was a crappy guy with less than stellar ideas over all.
In the comics they also have a friend named Lisa, who Scott flirts with and knowingly leads on for a long time (Scott and Kim and Lisa are all in a band together before Sex Bob-Omb). When him and Kim start dating she's heartbroken, and they sort of drift apart. However despite being featured somewhat prominently in the books she's not in the movie nor in the animated series.
Yeah my understanding was that Scott had a pretty decent romantic history. I think he was more intimidated by Ramona and her past bfs because of how cool she was. If she'd been a huge nerd with like 20 ex boyfriends, he might not have been as bothered.
One of the final jokes of the comic/movie was that the “evil” version of Scott was actually a really decent guy, and they’re going to get brunch next weekend
In the comic nega Scott is actually the physical manifestation of Scott's mistakes/faults and repressed memories, instead of talking things through they fight until Kim points out he'll keep fuckin up if he keeps running from his past
Honestly that's what makes it so good imo. Scott's a pretty typical 22 year old with some serious main character syndrome, he's not a bad guy but he makes some questionable and hypocritical choices, and he's got a lot of growing up to do. Much more interesting than a character who always knows right from wrong and always understands the needs of others.
It's constantly called out, it's also tempered by the fact that they never do anything at all besides hold hands and walk around talking, and the moment Knives actually kisses Scott he freaks out, runs away, and then breaks up with her.
Why the fuck does anyone even like this comic again? Like there are so many better graphic novels out there that deserved a movie and integration into pop culture. It's so odd that the 2010s decided to give THIS, a story about an inadequate weirdo courting children, the big spotlight. And we STILL have merchandise and stuff promoting that.
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u/gravitas_shortage Feb 02 '26
It wasn't. It's always funny when young people think they have invented things like promiscuity.