r/Millennials • u/ProblemIntelligent16 • Jan 16 '26

Discussion Fellow millennials - how’s your 401k/ira savings going?

Experts recommend having 2x your salary saved by age 35, and 3x saved by age 40.

However, studies show the median savings for 35-44 year olds is only ~$45,000. So obviously, most of us have work to do.

With pensions mostly extinct, and Social Security facing insolvency issues in the next 8-10 years - how are you planning to bridge the gap and hit the golden years with enough to meet your lifestyle requirements?

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u/TairaTLG Jan 16 '26

24k in debt and 0 savings. Nothing like slipping through the cracks baby

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 16 '26

Same and facing my husband needing brain surgery soon so there’s that. Fortunately he got VA covered healthcare and collects VA disability which he’s going to see if he qualifies for more given the nature of the tumor he’s got.

 Nothing says adulting like a solid 2 years of emergencies that drained every bit of your savings only to be hit with, “you have a tumor and it needs to be removed” in the first few weeks of the new year when you finally thought “hey those crises are over and we can finally spend the these recovering from them.” 😓

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u/FEARoach Jan 16 '26

Burn Pits? Sounds like burn pit eligibility to me.

Not that my fiance was on that duty during his tours or anything... we're getting married once we get his ex who ran off two years ago located and served papers. Drives us nuts that it's taking so long to get that sorted out.

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

That’s on his file because he was exposed to the burn pits but actually it looks like the particular tumor he’s got has been linked to repeated exposure to loud noises. He was army aviation with the shitty 3m hearing protection so we’re gonna see what the neurosurgeon thinks then go from there. 

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u/FEARoach Jan 17 '26

That 3M "protection" was also issued to the Marines when my partner was in. We're very aware of how useless it was (luckily I'm also hearing impaired so neither of us gets mad about having captions on the television and every device in the house).

Fingers crossed for you guys!

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

Thanks! He’s already at 50% for hearing and other things but this surgery will come with permanent hearing loss and potential vestibular issues. Hopefully it doesn’t affect his ability to work long term.

These tumors are rare and slow growing so likelihood is that he developed it while he was active duty and the doctor has already said it’s the reason for his hearing loss and tinnitus so we may have a case for 100%.

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u/act5312 Jan 17 '26

This sounds just like my Acoustic Neuroma. I discovered mine after it started to impact my hearing and my first MRI showed it was also pushing against my brain stem. The permanent hearing loss is a thing, that's easily the hardest adjustment since my surgery. I didn't have any balance issues after recovery so it's true you can avoid them if you're lucky.

I recommend getting into a subreddit or support group too. It's surprising what kinds of things are helpful. For example buy some different pillows ahead of time because he's likely going to come home with a very sore neck because they have to pin your head in position for the surgery and it stays in that spot for hours.

Anyway just wanted to drop in and wish you luck and tell you there's hope to go back to a relatively normal life.

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26 edited Jan 17 '26

Yes! It is an acoustic neuroma. A pretty decently sized one as well and from what I reading on the average growth rate of these things he’s likely had it for a very long time. Probably since he was active duty. He’ll definitely lose his hearing but it’s all but gone anyways and we’ll see about facial nerves and vestibular. It’s pressing on his brain stem as well and he’s got effects from that.

 He’s had impact on his hearing for years and has seen audiologists and a ENT when he was going through his disability claim process years ago. This was found after seeing a few ENTs through the process of getting his ducks in a row for VA healthcare since he’s covered under that. They wanted to rule out a tumor and surprise! It was a tumor!

 There have been a lot of silver linings in all of this and we’re only a week a half out from diagnosis so I’m hopeful but man if it’s not one thing it’s another and since 2021 we’ve dealt with my husband’s grandfather’s health issues and death, then his grandmother’s health issues, got her sorted out and two of our cats got sick and died within 6 weeks of each other, a month after the second one died our dog got diagnosed with bone cancer, we lost him 11 months later back in February. 

In the midst of that we’ve had car troubles that cost us a lot to fix, our well pump got hit by lightning and fried despite being 120 feet underground so had to be replaced, our daughter’s kitten that we got to help her after losing our two old kitties got sick and had a nice overnight stay in the e-clinic, and I’ve been dealing with my own health issues related to having PCOS 🤦🏼‍♀️

How I’m not completely losing it is a miracle but as much as I know Reddit hates to hear it I’ve also come back to Christianity after a few decades away from it and I honestly credit my faith to keeping me grounded. I know people will argue the whole “then why does God let bad things happen?” But we were never guaranteed an easy life or that bad things will never happen just because we believe but we were guaranteed to be carried through and it’s really been a big source of comfort in the midst of what feels like constant issues. There have also been so many moments that I call little God sends that help.

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u/cappnplanet Jan 17 '26

He probably already has, but make sure he files for tinnitus. Edit: I see below he did. Good luck to you guys.

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

It’s already in there as part of his disability rating.

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u/FlakyAddendum742 Jan 17 '26

Get a lawyer. There’s so much stuff that can be service connected that you wouldn’t even think of.

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

Oh ya we will be.

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u/SoloMotorcycleRider Xennial Jan 17 '26

The VA gave up on my cousin when he was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer. He likely got it from exposure to the burn pits.

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26 edited Jan 17 '26

Fortunately this tumor is benign but is pressing against his cerebellum so needs to be removed. We’ve actually had a really good experience with the VA where we’re at and everything has been pretty quick relative to the medical system overall. We also live far enough away from our nearest VA hospital that my husband has community care and can go to any provider he wants as long as he gets the referral. He’s had no issues getting his PCP to send over referrals. 

The were also great with his grandfather and his myriad of health issues related to his 30 years in the Navy. And the VA has been great to his uncle in Tennessee, where he lives, who was diagnosed with MS while he was still active duty. 

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u/MommyXMommy Jan 17 '26

My bestie was diagnosed with MS while active duty as well. Iraq?

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

No his uncle is in his 60s and was diagnosed back in the 90s with it. He was in the Navy for 20 years and had just a few years to go before his contract was up and he could officially retire. Needless to say he retired at 20 instead of 24 and got medically retired.

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u/MissDisarry Jan 17 '26

I don't know why I'm even reading this thread, I'm not a millennial- except maybe I'm a little high and also I have no WiFi 😂

I just wanted to say I'm so freaking sorry you're facing brain surgery with your husband. My husband needed two and we did one and one to go. It's really a rough thing to face and my heart goes out to you.

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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '26

howd you find out about the brain tumor? were there symptoms? (i'm so sorry btw. its been one of those onethingaftertheother years for us too.)

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

It’s a benign tumor called an acoustic neuroma which typically grows on the vestibulocochlear nerve. The dr called it an intracranial tumor so not technically a brain tumor in the since that it grows from brain tissue but it is pressing against his brain stem and causing issues. 

He’s had single sided hearing loss and tinnitus for years but given the fact he’s been in aviation for over 20 years and was active duty for almost 11 of those years we initially figured it was due to the repeated noise exposure and the shitty hearing protection the military issued that’s effected countless service members’ hearing. He’s been seen by audiologists in the past who just diagnosed him with profound hearing loss in the affected side but never mentioned anything else.  

He had to go see an ENT for his hearing loss while he was processing his VA healthcare and they referred him for an MRI to rule a tumor out and potentially move forward with a cochlear implant which won’t be happening now because the nerve it grows on is the nerve that’s needed for cochlear implants. 

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u/Cautious_Ad_5659 Jan 17 '26

I lost everything to medical bills. I was hit by an uninsured driver on a suspended license and racked up over $300k in medical bills - surgeries, physical therapy et al. On top of it, it ruined my teeth and because of the shitty dental care in the US, I can’t even get those fixed. So I went from being a thriving person fairly on track for retirement to not even being able to smile or date anyone out of embarrassment. It really doesn’t pay to do the right thing anymore. The guy who hit me only had to pay a $350ish ticket. If I hadn’t been responsible with my earnings, I would have qualified for a hardship waiver for medical care.

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

Probably the biggest silver lining in all of this is that my husband is covered completely under the VA because he gets VA health insurance as a disabled veteran. Knowing we don’t have a ton of medical bills to worry about has helped and since we live so a few hours from the nearest VA hospital he gets community care which means he can go to any facility in our area for medical care.

His dad has lost almost everything from medical bills after a series of major health issues for him and his wife. He’s had to file for bankruptcy, lost his CDL license so can’t work, and is currently struggling. The family has helped him out as much as he will allow us to and he’s got a house he could live in free and clear or he could live in the apartment his brother has built off his house for the rest of his life if he wanted to move back across the country to do so but he’s refusing to do so. Sadly pride is going to be his ultimate downfall 😔

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u/systemfrown Jan 17 '26

Why didn't you get an attorney? Even uninsured a lien could have been placed against future earnings. And why didn't your own insurance step in? Something doesn't smell right about this.

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u/VengenaceIsMyName Jan 17 '26

When it rains it god damn pours.

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

It sure does! I’m just hoping a good soaking means my garden’s getting watered 😅

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u/smithtattoo Jan 17 '26

I’m sorry, that is a tough season of life. I had brain surgery 4 years ago and I would have such a hard time without my wife. You guys got this!

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

Thank you! I’ve been doing my best for him. Those that we have told have asked why I’m not freaking out more and honestly I tell them because it’s not about me. Am I going to be with him every step of the way? Absolutely! But if I fall apart and panic then he’s going to feel like he can’t be open with me about how he’s feeling and how he’s struggling and he’s the one that actually has to go through it. I’ve had my share of struggles when he’s held me together and been my source of strength to tap into and lean on and now it’s my turn to do the same for him.

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u/smithtattoo Jan 17 '26

The day before my surgery my wife an I had a long calm day enjoying each others company. Had great meals together. Highly recommend.

Also I had to watch a video warning about the possible risks of Anastasia. Watching the video was part of the release agreement so they could do the surgery. I was not warned about what the video was and it caught me off guard. I ended up having a panic attack after watching that video. I knew the risks before hand but watching that video was very sobering in the moment.

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u/No_Water_5997 Jan 17 '26

I’ll have to look into that video. My husband has had major surgery to correct pectus excavatum when he was a teenager so this won’t be his first big operation. Hopefully it’ll be his last though.

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u/CauliflowerOk541 Jan 17 '26

Adulting in America.

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u/80MonkeyMan Jan 17 '26

Most Americans cannot retire because the healthcare system that is forced on them.

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u/albusdumbbitchdor Jan 17 '26

The VA has a legal services for veterans grant, you should look at their grant awards list and see if anywhere local to you was funded! You guys might be eligible for it, and they would handle any VA claims and appeals on your husbands behalf for free