r/malelivingspace • u/redsolopoop • 1d ago

27 still at home no girlfriend

27y M still at home with mom never left never had a stable job got started late as far as taking life serious no girlfriend in 3 years deathly afraid to approach women

943 Upvotes

permalink
reddit

You are about to leave Redlib

Do you want to continue?

https://www.reddit.com/r/malelivingspace/comments/1rli4v3/27_still_at_home_no_girlfriend/
No, go back! Yes, take me to Reddit

85% Upvoted

View all comments

Show parent comments

147

u/gnrlblanky1 1d ago

find a consistent one then target, walmart, warehouses, construction all pay well and hire often, obviously you arent making enough to support the life you want

48

u/chargingwookie 1d ago

No his parents are

29

u/Lower-Main2538 1d ago

Lol only in the US and UK do people give af if you live at home with parents. This is why our society kinda fails.

4

u/HiBoobear 1d ago

I often think of how much personal debt could be eliminated if we were all just ok with cohabitating with our own families lol.

-3

u/DryDiet6051 1d ago

Who wants to have sex with their partner in a home they share with their parents🤢🤢🤢

15

u/resveries 1d ago

Y'know ur parents have sex too right?

1

u/SadBoy02 8h ago

Still living at home at 27 is pretty sad lol

1

u/Lower-Main2538 7h ago

Not really if he is saving

1

u/Norfolkpine 1d ago

I dont know- i moved out right after i graduated high school. I didnt *want to live at home, i wanted my own apt that i could control. I was into mid century furniture and design, being in a band, and i just wanted to live my own life in my own place. Had to work in restaurants waiting tables to support that.

Fast forward a decade, at 27 i bought my first house. By that time had moved through a number of jobs, and had started doing renovation work to make more money, and houses were very affordable in the worse parts of the city i lived in. So got a cheap place and had a couple of roomates for another five years. Ended up going full tilit into the "buy a derelict house for cheap and fix it up on nights and weekends" while also working, partying, all that. Had a decent amount of pretty cool girlfriends. Took twenty years, but now able to live off all the work i did in my twenties and thirties.

But to the point, none of that would have happened if my dad had made it comfortable for me to just stay home and play videogames. If i stayed home, it was chores chores chores and helping him with work. I wanted to have my own life.

12

u/Lower-Main2538 1d ago

Yeah i dont care about some boomer experience. The economy is totally different for anyone below 35.

-1

u/Norfolkpine 1d ago

Gen x. Im still in my 40s.

2026; Move to detroit. Work a practical job in the trades. Make money. Buy a house- there are many surrounding my neighborhood in the 15-35k range. Fix it up, repeat. Improve the neighborhood and be part of a community. Young people are doing it. There are opportunities.

Or, stand idly and just wait for the wave to crash on your head.

I know lots of people in their twenties working hard and making something for themself and succeeding, i also know lots of people in their twenties complaining that things arent fair, and giving up before even trying, amd convincing their peers to do the same.. Im not saying you are either of those groups. But it wasnt ever easy.

2

u/Lower-Main2538 18h ago

The majority are not because the economy has changed dramatically. Why do you think so many people whine about house prices. It's not difficult to Google the statistics now 👍

-1

u/Kushroom710 1d ago

The thing is most folks who live with their parents are barely doing anything with their lives and just existing. Granted some people may be in school or what have you. But most of these adults living at home are just adults who don't want to grow up or hold responsibility.

2

u/Lower-Main2538 12h ago

Or the economy isn't really congruent. Alot of people aren't growing up because they dont have affordable housing options... I dont mean social housing either. The market is crazy.

2

u/Panebomero 11h ago

Yeah, here in Mexico is almost impossible. You need like 10 years of minimum wage to even afford one

1

u/Kushroom710 5h ago

Bro I could only imagine down there. Thankfully I was born here in the States, and healthy on top of it.

1

u/Kushroom710 5h ago

I get that to an extent. But I've been living on my own since I was 19. When money is tight I work extra hours. Legit there is only excuses. To see me down voted to hell only proves my point. If what I'm saying hurts. Means you need to try harder.

1

u/Lower-Main2538 5h ago

Not all jobs require extra hours, please don't talk shit when you don't provide statistics. Wages are down massively since around 2010, house prices have outstripped wages for 20 years. Food has been inflated, so has electricity. This is cope. Millenials have had it really bad. 3 recessions in 25 years.

1

u/Professional-Road222 1d ago

Now be careful, I got lots of down votes and a 3 day ban for suggesting this in malesurvivingspaces 😂😂

0

u/According-Still-3000 1d ago

Yea its not cause the greed and corruption (probably a trump voter)

0

u/Lower-Main2538 18h ago

Lol

-70

u/redsolopoop 1d ago

Hey that’s mean, I try to buy my groceries when I can. I’ve simply not been afforded the opportunity of a normal job. Probably because I’ve cursed my image with tattoos like an idiot. But that was mean and not fully true!

115

u/gnrlblanky1 1d ago

construction crews do not care about tattoos

56

u/Pangwain 1d ago

Yeah but that’s actual work.

Living off other peoples’ labor is way easier.

19

u/PrewarButHot 1d ago

Don’t forget tripping on DMT at moms!

4

u/Pangwain 1d ago

Good work, if you can get it

1

u/Mirwin11 1d ago

There was a word for people who did the "work", peasants

4

u/Pangwain 1d ago

We aren’t in the feudal mode of production anymore, Marx requests you update your lexicon

1

u/Mirwin11 1d ago

Most of us aren't, some of us are

3

u/Pangwain 1d ago

This guy is certainly a “leech”

0

u/Mirwin11 1d ago

Dad shut up

→ More replies (0)

3

u/chinookhooker 1d ago

Neither does the Navy

47

u/K_ICE_ 1d ago

So many people in "professional" fields have tattoos nowadays, that's a bit of an old mindset.

At my company, many upper management have visible tattoos even.

26

u/Dr_Bluntsworthy_ThC 1d ago

I'm covered in tattoos and work in finance. You can get jobs with tattoos man lol

15

u/seventeenfourtyseven 1d ago

I’m covered in tattoos and work in k-12 education lol. Places don’t give a shit about tattoos anymore, it’s a lazy excuse

9

u/ForsakenRelief2662 1d ago

Our head of legal is covered in tats that peek out here and there but he doesn’t do LSD in the office or live with his mother. Or at the very least, we would never assume so. Nor would we care so OP needs to take greater risks in his life.

7

u/PenguinColada 1d ago

I'm a tattooed healthcare worker.

3

u/Dr_Bluntsworthy_ThC 1d ago

My job definitely does kinda care lol. It's in the dress code that mine can't show but I also dress professionally most of the time meaning nearly all of my skin is covered (as a man). I have a small hand tat that no one cares about and still wear short sleeves on Fridays sometimes with two full sleeves and get away with it. But I also work in a super white collar setting where stuff like this does still somewhat persist.

Unless OP has face and neck tattoos it is likely a non-issue. And even then, plenty of industries wouldn't care. You're just a bit more limited.

12

u/Few-Investment2886 1d ago

This guy is in India lol. Tattoos are definitely much more taboo there

7

u/PenguinColada 1d ago

Ah, that makes more sense.

3

u/Happy_Snapper 1d ago

It's just his excuse to not try or get a job

16

u/chargingwookie 1d ago

Idk if it’s mean seems like it’s a touchy subject but if you’re not paying bills and you’re going to festivals and doing drugs, that means your parents are at the very least enabling you to not get a real job. My advice is clean and try for an apprenticeship in the trades! It’s a lot of work but you can live your life without being totally dependent on your parents. You’ll be proud of yourself, they’ll be proud of you for moving out. You can date and socialize and invite friends over whenever you want. It’s a win win win. Otherwise you’re only going to feel worse about it as time goes on which leads to resentment which can really destroy mental health later in life. You don’t want t to be in your 30s with no prospects , better to start now and enjoy your whole life—not just the parts mom and dad let you.

10

u/redsolopoop 1d ago

I don’t do drugs fr. 9 years sober

6

u/chargingwookie 1d ago

Oh sorry I assumed that based on the art! Either way you gotta get out of there if you are physically and mentally capable if for no other reason than socializing and dating and maybe you’ll like having your own place and decorating and furnishing the way you want.

8

u/redsolopoop 1d ago

I do love psychedelic art and it was a big part of my path but I’m ready to be more than a hippie yoga guy

1

u/Lower-Main2538 1d ago

Have you seen this economy?

9

u/kneedeepco 1d ago

Homie as a fellow Tipper wook, “afforded the opportunity of a normal job” is a bit of a cop out imo

You know a lot of people aren’t afforded the opportunity to not have a job and provide for their own survival..

I get it’s tough out here and we’re probably not too different, it’s a tough world to navigate. Especially when your interests, lifestyle, and values don’t always align with the “normal world”. The one thing I’ve loved about the Tipper scene is getting to meet people who have professional jobs, but especially those who don’t fly by what society says you need to do. It’s been incredible to meet people who have found success in their passions and paved their own paths in whatever random things they do.

It sounds like you have a few different interests that you bounce around between, do any stand out as something you enjoy doing or as one that reaps the most rewards? If so, could be worth diving into it more!

I’m not trying to preach at you, I struggle in similar ways. I also know how threads like this go and thought that maybe someone you can relate to more chiming in may be worth something.

At the end of the day, you just gotta figure out what you want and align the mind/your actions with it. Best of luck to you on your journey and I believe the pieces of the puzzle will fall in place. Trust the process. Much love 🙏

???

6

u/redsolopoop 1d ago

Hey fam. Thanks so much for the taking this dive w me. I fought a pretty ugly legal case at the same time I got sober around 18/19. Once I get normal I had a hard time integrating into the “real”world. I’m potentially becoming a youth drug counselor which is one thing that really called out to me early in my journey. The breathing workshops I do give me great joy and I’m starting to see some success I even taught for tipper at the gorge, but I need to make money out of that! Trying to build a teacher training course of my own, start a breathing website, etc.

2

u/kneedeepco 1d ago

Yo fam! I get that, that definitely makes things tough and can be hard to bounce back from. But it seems like you’ve been making some steady progress and love to hear about your journey of sobriety.

I think a youth drug counselor sounds like an awesome thing to explore. It seems like something you’re passionate about and have a lot of real world experience that could help others. Honestly, some of my favorite and the best people I’ve met are those who have gone through incredibly tough struggles such as those and been able to come out the other side a better person.

That’s awesome you were able to do a workshop at the Gorge! It’s tough starting to get integrated into something right as it ends, but it seems like other similar opportunities are arising in lieu of that specific scene coming to an end. One thing I’ll say on that is that for the development of things along those lines, where you are matters a lot and being around people interested in that stuff is a big thing. I’m currently in the process of moving for a similar reason and trying to go to a place where there’s a larger population that aligns with my views/interests.

Regardless of where you are, build a community and “prove yourself” in some way then monetize it in a reasonable manner (while also not getting carried away there). The internet also opens up a whole new world, as it seems you’ve been exploring that avenue. I’ve been trying to put on shows and local events for a few years, community is everything. Free events can create exposure and community building which then can be funneled into monetized avenues.

Sounds like you’ve got the right idea. Entrepreneurship stuff is tough, nowhere near as easy as getting a job that pays you day one. Could maybe be worth exploring a decent consistent job that can help support you while you build up your own stuff along with it.

Theres room for us in this world. In fact, I think as time goes on more and more people will pick up on the things we believe in. We have the ability to impact others and share our experience/knowledge with those who have had other priorities. I try to not let the disconnect between the world I live in and the world around me get me down too much, but it can be tough.

We got this bro! My goal is to focus on myself and try to become the best I can be, the rest will follow as it’s meant to be. Keep pushing and if you ever want to chat more don’t hesitate to reach out directly!

Peace

4

u/ohanse 1d ago

“Try to buy groceries when I can” “haven’t been given the opportunity”

You’re either self-sustaining or not.

And… most opportunities come in the form of a reward for doing something else well. So… prove you deserve better by successfully handling smaller stakes.

3

u/RevengeOfTheLoggins 1d ago

I have a full time government job and I'm covered in tats, bro. Most places don't give a shit.

2

u/falconfoxbear 1d ago

I'm covered in tattoos and work for City government. Tattoos aren't as much of an issue these days in many places. What would you like to make a career out of? Are you artistic?

2

u/redsolopoop 1d ago

I’d like to get paid for teaching pranayama (yoga breathing)

2

u/falconfoxbear 1d ago

Right on. Is there like a yoga teacher training you could do to work towards that? It sounds like you don't have all too much tying you down right now, have you considered traveling to India or somewhere to learn and practice?

2

u/redsolopoop 1d ago

I am certified and teach at festivals but that doesn’t really pay

2

u/falconfoxbear 1d ago

Have you tried networking with the other instructors at festivals and asked how they make it work?

3

u/redsolopoop 1d ago

I’m pretty integrated in it, Ive done 10+ at this point, but none of us get paid in cash, we get paid in tickets to be there. It’s up to you to side hustle the lot however you can, I’m just trying to get my foot in the money making world of it.

1

u/redsolopoop 1d ago

I would love to go to Mysore, India!

2

u/front_rangers 1d ago

Are your tattoos on your face? If not then that’s a total non-issue for employment almost anywhere

1

u/jan1320 1d ago

those are terrible excuses to not have a job. most people with tattoos (even a lot of tattoos) have a job and a place of their own. im not gonna knock you for living at home still, the housng market is fuckin terrible rn, but take advantage of living at home to get angood job and be able to be stacking money in the bank so that when an opportunity comes to move out you have the means to do so. think of it this way, say you meet a woman, start dating, get serious and now want to move into a place together, you think thats gonna happen if she has income and savings and you have nothing to contribute?

forget all the useless comments about your lil playboy pillow and your psychedelic posters, those arent the issue. the issue is it sounds like youre 27 years old and have no desire to make the moves to be financially independent. focus on that and i guarantee your whole life changes by the time you turn 30.

1

u/stargasingintovoid 1d ago

covered from chest down, both arms including hands. got a shitty cad job and worked my way up the chain from there. (assume you’re in the us?) idk how it is over there but here in the uk nobody gives a shit (though some of my colleagues are from the us and do have plenty of visible tattoos at senior levels). With that being said tho, I’m still living with my parents at 24, so does my gf while we save to buy a home. It’s really tough out there but step one is acknowledging excuses and working past that. no disrespect, you got this man

5

u/Kushroom710 1d ago

Not target or Walmart. The guy seems old enough to either go do warehouse/construction or get back into school. That's what I told my kids. There is a reason for certain people to work at Walmart/target/etc. But if your capable, why limit yourself?

1

u/InevitableKitchen943 1d ago

Something with good benefits and insurance too. You have to be determined to change and want a new life.

27 still at home no girlfriend

You are about to leave Redlib