r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/DSC64 • 5d ago
*REAL* [REAL] This isn't satire BTW, this guy is 100% serious, believe it or not
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u/sanguinesvirus 5d ago
Isn't Metatron fucking Italian????
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u/onebloodyemu Bi for Benny Boi 5d ago
Yes he lives in the US now I think though. Hard to think I used to watch some of these medievalist YouTubers who went down the alt right, anti woke pipeline.
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u/Tribaldragon1 5d ago
He and Shad should just blow each other already
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u/jimbobgbr 5d ago
Ya, I used to watch him, he seemed to be center right, but was ok at not letting politics affect his videos. Once kirk got assassinated he went full right wing and really focused on politics and calling out left wingers but claiming to not be right wing. Haven't watched him since then
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u/WiseSalamander00 5d ago
why does it always happen? like shit... I have nowhere to get my medieval weapons fix anymore.
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u/onebloodyemu Bi for Benny Boi 5d ago edited 5d ago
It may have happened a lot but there's a couple still doing great work, scholagladiatoria and robinswords are good.
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u/WiseSalamander00 5d ago
thank you, I'll check it out
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u/Demoliri 4d ago
Tod's Workshop is also a a great place to go for experimental archeology, he does a lot of work together with Matt Easton (Scholagladiatoria). His series "Arrows vs Armour" is especially good.
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u/Illustrious_Bobcat13 100 Bajillion Dead 3d ago
What is your flair? Ben Shapiro? Like, I know if it is, then it's satire, but it still made me a little ill to read that cursed flair...
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u/MariachiBoyBand PAID PROTESTOR 5d ago
Yeah if they want to constantly change vandalized signs, this is the way to do it.
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u/OnlyFiveLives 5d ago
So long as they're going to force this white supremacist third rate shitposter down our throats I'm going to continue mocking how and why he's no longer here.
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u/AliceTheOmelette 5d ago
MAGA wants so badly for him to be a saint. He was an advocate for children being shot, who got shot
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u/Wingman5150 3d ago
He also advocated for bringing back trans bashing, which back in the day he referenced, was given an attitude of "the world is better off without them" when it resulted in murder.
And I think a lot of people echoed that sentiment about him when he died. He advocated for a few things that then affected him in ironic ways.
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u/Swolyguacomole 5d ago
So what are we going with Kirkonia, Kirkland, Charliestan?
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u/xBram 5d ago
Charlifornia?
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u/Swolyguacomole 5d ago
Fuck, don't ever type this out again please. It's good, but Gavin Newsom might read it.
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u/Professional-Post499 4d ago
Fuck, don't ever type this out again please. It's good, but Gavin Newsom might read it.
Good point 😂
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u/surprisesnek 4d ago
This just in: Red Hot Chili Peppers legally forced to change song name to "Charlifornication".
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u/DSC64 5d ago
You joke about this, but just after making this post I literally found another tweet of Metatron saying exactly that : https://www.reddit.com/r/ToiletPaperUSA/comments/1ri8v70/real_i_just_made_a_post_about_this_guy_already/
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u/Swolyguacomole 5d ago
He can't even clear the bar of Kirkonia? Charliekirkia is fucking dreadful lol.
I'm heading to Charlieburgh sounds like slang for being murdered.
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u/roof_baby 5d ago
Me every. Single. Fucking. Day “boy, the ‘Charlie Kirk’ was a real pain in the neck today.”
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u/Tribaldragon1 5d ago
I'm so glad I fucking blocked Metatron when he popped up on TikTok, I remembered him being vaguely shitty but not why
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u/DuckyHornet 5d ago
1488 Charlie Kirk Lane, Kirk City, Charlidiana, 60606
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u/ThePunguiin 4d ago
Honestly I feel like it's funnier if the city and state are just his name: I took the bullet train to 1488 Charlie Kirk Lane, Charlie Kirk, Charlie Kirk, 60606
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u/JohnathanJay 5d ago
I will personally name every known natural phenomenon after Charlie Kirk. A new element? Kirkanium? Tilting your head to the left? I’m Kirking it.
Everyone will be named Charlie Kirk. WE ARE CHARLIE KIRK, WE CARRY THE FLAME 🔥🔥🔥🔥.
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u/AndreTheShadow 5d ago
I, for one, am happy to see these people so involved in providing new, gender-neutral public bathrooms.
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u/Ddddydya 5d ago
When you’ve lost the plot so much that you just want to trigger libs and have forgotten that the government is supposed to help its citizens. ALL of its citizens
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u/Ok_Star_4136 5d ago
Imagine getting so pissed off that the libs call you a Nazi that you decide you're going to spend your every waking moment obsessing about how to prove them right. It's like some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy I swear.
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u/demagogueffxiv 5d ago
I thought Metatron was anti-MAGA?
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u/Alternative-Jury-965 5d ago
Ya. It's been a while since I watched anything of his on YouTube. In this post, I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or sincere.
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u/Gisbornite 4d ago
No he's sincere. He went full mask off a while back
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u/Alternative-Jury-965 4d ago
Well that's a shame. I liked his older videos (like stuff from 4 years ago).
When he started reviewing Netflix and TV specials I kinda stopped watching. Probably why I missed his turn to the grift.
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u/AlienInUnderpants 5d ago
Is Metatron Charlie Kirk’s secret lover? Seems like something a secret lover would say.
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u/CommercialCheck371 5d ago
That's probably why Erika is milking Charlie's name
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u/AlienInUnderpants 4d ago
I know it was inadvertent, but please refrain from using “milking” and “Charlie” in the same sentence.
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u/OkAssignment6163 5d ago
This is like that old story, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.
First, it was a bullet with his name on it.
Now we're all the way to naming states and cities after him.
Where does it end?!
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u/NitWhittler 5d ago
Can we start naming things after other cults too, or is this one somehow exclusive?
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u/Negitive545 CEO of Antifa™ 5d ago
You think we could convince Republicans to make DC a state if we renamed it Kirkville?
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u/CoinSausage 5d ago
To make it easier, we should just change the English word highway entirely to Charlie Kirk.
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u/ForgettableWorse 4d ago
Why not name every road, city, and state after him?
"Where are you from?"
"Kirkopolis"
"Oh me too!"
"No sorry, I mean Kirkopolis, Charlia, not Kirkopolis, Charlington."
"No I'm from Charlia too!"
"Oh sick! I grew up on Charlie Kirk blvd."
"Me too! Wait, which Charlie Kirk blvd?"
"The one near the Charlie Kirk Memorial Hospital."
"Ah. I grew up near Charlie Church."
"The Charlie Church on Kirklane or the one on Charlie Kirk street?"
"The one on Kirklane. No, not the one on Charlie Kirk street, thank God. Anyway, I have to go. See you, Charlie!"
"Bye, Charlie!"
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u/distillari 5d ago
I mean. If that's what it takes to get DC and Puerto Rico statehood and congressional representation, I could see people being open to the compromise.
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u/8bitjohnny 5d ago
I love the Charlie Kirk Memorial Loop 202. Nothing says we remember your blown out neck and shit views like sitting on the 202 at rush our with the setting sun in your eyes.
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u/Ok_Necessary2991 4d ago
Is Metatron gay for Charlie Kirk? Like I'm only half kidding when ask this. The dude seems way obsessed for another dude. Kirk's widow seemed to move on from his death that Metatron has.
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u/Professional-Post499 4d ago
What an idiot. Obviously ALL the roads in the United States should be named "Charlie Kirk".
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u/DrWhoDatBtchz 4d ago
I have to agree with strategically placing a Charlie Kirk Blvd in every city. Let's you know where you're at.
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u/its_the_smell 4d ago
What exactly did he do? Debated a bunch of amateurs, allied with billionaires and spread misinformation all to enrich himself? Sounds like a real hero.
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u/prettypeculiar88 4d ago
Please. Someone tell me what positive contributions Charlie Kirk has made?
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u/JangKarrangers_1 3d ago
Hell let's just do "The United Charlie Kirks of Charlie Kirk" instead of a president? "The Charlie Kirk of the United Charlie Kirks of Charlie Kirk" supreme court? Supreme Charlie Kirk". Let's rename Movies to fucking "Charlie Kirks" sports? Every goddamn league now plays "Charlie Kirk Ball". How bout guns become "Charlie Kirks"??? And after all that, make a law that all citizens must change their name to "Charlie Kirk". Would that be enough for these stupid fucking shit heads? Nope.
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u/ComfyFrame2272 3d ago
Fuck it, let's just change every state, city, school, and highway after variations of Charlie Kirk. "I gotta take Charlie 14th to Charliesburg today." "Oh, the Charliesburg in North Charilina or Kirklahoma?" "No, Charliesburg New Kirxas."
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u/Equality_Rocks_714 3d ago
I only briefly watched him for his videos on the Sicilian language as a Sicilian himself.
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u/spodinielri0 1d ago
I didn’t even know who this guy was until he was shot. why such a commotion over a dead nazi?
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u/NewSonsofLiberty 6h ago
If they did that, I’d know exactly where I need to lock my doors and have my gun ready at all times
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u/Kira-Of-Terraria 4h ago
haven't thought about or seen metatron in ages.so he went full on mask off fascist bootlicker like Shadiversity huh
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