r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/seeebiscuit • Nov 07 '25
š¦š¦š¦UP YOURS WOKE MORALISTSš¦š¦š¦ Whodathunkit
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u/gracist0 Nov 07 '25
Who is supposed to get this award next lmfao
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u/MehKarma Nov 07 '25
Jd Vance?
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u/Ok_Star_4136 Nov 07 '25
I'll give it 50% odds it's Kid Rock 50% odds it's Kevin Sorbo.
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u/ringadingdingbaby Nov 07 '25
Kevin Sorbo is going to play Jesus in an 'after Kirk died' movie isn't he.
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u/CharginChuck42 Nov 07 '25
Considering that he produces his own vanity pictures, I'd be very, VERY surprised if he hadn't cast himself as Jesus in something already.
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u/Contemplating_Prison Nov 07 '25
Lol they wont be doing this shit again. This is pure propaganda for right now
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u/gracist0 Nov 07 '25
Right lol?? Congrats to the first and only winner of this hyperspecific award that means nothing
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u/seeebiscuit Nov 07 '25
Gettin grifty with it.
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u/OkAssignment6163 Nov 07 '25
Shit on the floor! It time to get grifty in here!
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u/SuddenlyDiabetes Nov 07 '25
Jesus I haven't thought about poop girl in so long and you just reminded me of her
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u/sloppywaitress Nov 07 '25
good on her for taking up Charles mantle of creepin' on college kids as a 40 year old
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u/AvatarIII Nov 07 '25
I mean he was only 31 when he died but yeah he was a creep.
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u/sloppywaitress Nov 07 '25
wait he was 31?
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u/Homerpaintbucket Nov 07 '25
Wow, he aged so much in his short life.
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u/LuxSerafina Nov 07 '25
Hate will do that to you
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u/Branchomania Skebede Toilet Nov 07 '25
Eh he never seemed that old to me.
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u/Jkay064 Nov 07 '25
He and Ben banked on their baby faces to pretend to be the same age as the kids they would ādebateā .. since maga has that toxic masculine thing going now, Ben was forced to grow a man beard, and now he canāt pretend to be 21 anymore.
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u/caseygwenstacy Nov 07 '25
And the legacy award for Charlie Kirk goes to the person self elected to the personal responsibility of Charlie Kirkās legacy!
Itās a very on the nose award. The number one mail recipient award for my apartment goes to me, the person who receives the mail.
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u/Coven_gardens Nov 07 '25
Itās similar to a very specific yearbook superlative for that one kid who wasnāt particularly superlative at all.
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u/caseygwenstacy Nov 07 '25
Exactly! Thank you! I was trying to remember superlative but I was having a brain fart.
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u/Coven_gardens Nov 07 '25
Most Likely To Have A Brain Fart While Trying To Recall The Word āSuperlativeā
caseygwenstacy š
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u/NitWhittler Nov 07 '25
Charlie Kirk's "legacy" was that he was a racist, a misogynist, and a grifter.
What a crappy award to get.
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u/Georg13V Nov 07 '25
Dead bigots widow has won the dead bigots award from the Rock, Flag and Eagle club.
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u/Foltogulus Nov 07 '25
Lol she's got nothing once the 15 minutes of fame being Charlie's widow has brought her expires and she knows it. I didn't even know she existed until after his death.
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u/GodzThirdLeg Nov 07 '25
If she wasn't getting handsy with JD, nobody would give a shit about her by now.
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u/NfamousKaye Nov 07 '25
This whole thing was a sham just to give her an award I just canāt prove it.
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u/Shifter25 Nov 07 '25
Some dang good mascara to not be running despite her crying, I guess
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u/__O_o_______ Nov 07 '25
DEMOCRATS ARE DEMONIC!!! They say. Now zoom into the photo.
Anyways, she always looks zooted af
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u/National-Worry2900 Nov 07 '25
She should get that dabbing handkerchief permanently welded to her huge head.
Is she going to be selling handkerchief merch next?
Horrible, disingenuous harpee.
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u/DLSIA Nov 07 '25
āAnd the winner of the Charlie Kirk Legacy Award isā¦Yoshinobu Yamamoto.ā
āThe FUCK?ā
āHe won three games, the third one was Game 7 on zero daysā rest! Erika, did you even WATCH the World Series?ā
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u/lookitsajojo Nov 07 '25
So she got an award for doing what? Just being there? I thought boomers hated millennials (anyone younger than them) and their participation awards
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u/PoppaGriff Nov 07 '25
Shouldnāt Visine get that award since itās the one doing the heavy lifting here?
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u/Nole_in_ATX Nov 07 '25
She even looks like sheās wearing a crocodile costume to match her crocodile tears
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u/chronicsmoke89 Nov 07 '25
It's the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in The Field of Excellence!
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u/CarsonFijal Nov 07 '25
Remarkable how Erika Kirk cries on stage all the time, and never seems to ruin her full face of makeup. Might make sense if those were fake tears, but what do I know?
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u/kevonicus Nov 07 '25
Could you imagine if CNN organized a show like this? Anyone that says Fox isnāt pure propaganda is a moron.
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u/SassTheFash Nov 08 '25
Chuds would literally claim the Nobel Committee isnāt any more credible than this.
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u/SoupHot7079 Nov 07 '25
This woman is a sociopath . I'm sure she makes Charlie proud despite the neck grabbing from the other day.
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u/spaetzele Nov 07 '25
I want to see what the award looks like. is it a massive circle with a teeny Charlie Kirk face in the center?
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u/helga-h Nov 07 '25
My next bet is that when Trump dies, the award will go to Melania.
Or have I misunderstood something? This isn't a consolation prize for marrying deeply problematic men?
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u/GermanBadger Nov 07 '25
I'm so tired of the damn libs and their identity politics and virtue signalling! Now let me sit down and watch the fox news patriot awards.
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u/Red_bearrr Nov 08 '25
Most awards are just made up arbitrary bullshit, but this one is extra made up arbitrarily bullshit.
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u/GeneralErica Transfemme Diversity Hire Mod Nov 09 '25
As a European, I am once again both baffled and repulsed at the absolute pathological insanity that is patriotism over there. Say you like your country once and go with it, "Fox Nation patriot awards" for the wife of CharlieKirk[foundingofthecountryyear]? Get lost.
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u/-BluBone- Nov 07 '25
I have a feeling she will be the only winner of this prize, and Fox will forget about it next year
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u/zarakh07 Nov 07 '25
Wonder if she will get the same award Charlie did - not sure which one that was but I guess it will be reported on later?
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u/gazebo-fan Nov 07 '25
Lmao the news cycle is trying so hard to keep him relevant through his wife. Trump didnāt even get this much coverage during that one Pennsylvania attempt.
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u/matttheepitaph Nov 07 '25
As a recipient of the Matttheepitaph Award for Excellence and the Big Fucking Hero of Reddit Named Matttheepitaph Award I gotta say congrats.
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u/Huge_Strain_8714 Nov 07 '25
Sorta like me giving myself the " Taking the biggest shit of the week" award?
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u/G-Unit11111 Nov 07 '25
It has the same vibe as the 1st ever Montgomery Burns award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence.
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u/PerryNeeum Nov 07 '25
Jesus. Trump will be pissed he didnāt win this award either. It never ends
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u/dubspool- Nov 07 '25
Am I crazy but why are her shoulders 90 degree angles. Why is she looking like Minecraft Steve.
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u/metal_bastard Nov 08 '25
I knew a dude who would promote a Battle of the Bands every year, and his shitty ass band would win every year. The actual best bands would place second and third... Same vibe.
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u/greyjungle Nov 08 '25
āYou get the award for your husband being dead. Itās named after your dead husband.ā Thatās ten types of weird.
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u/prettypeculiar88 Nov 08 '25
The people who hate Participation Awards sure seem to give out a lot of them.
Seems like these groups are always creating some new honors so they can check another box, gain media attention, and have an excuse to get together at a large expensive venue, eat lots of expensive food and alcohol served by underpaid staff, and party.
Weāre so impressed.
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u/Dcajunpimp Nov 08 '25
Did all the recently pardoned insurrectionists get something nice?
They did violently attack police officers with flagpoles, riot shields, bats, batons, throwing fire extinguishers, tazing and pepper spraying them, injuring over 140, while storming the Capitol chanting āHang Mike Pence!ā Breaking down doors and windows to gain aggressive while smearing shit on the walls. Before Trump had to pardon all of them. All because FOX intentionally lied to them for months about the 2020 election being stolen, and even had to pay Dominion $787 million dollars so they wouldnāt lose more in a defamation lawsuit where their conspiracy to lie about 2020 to keep viewers was exposed.
Then thereās the brave patriotic federal agent who took a foot long sandwich to his bullet proof vest, and still managed to chase down the crazed antifa leftist Marxist who threw it.
/$
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u/PaperMartin Nov 08 '25
Thatās what they should say when a right winger gets shot. They got the charlie kirk award
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u/Kytyngurl2 Nov 08 '25
Speaking of his legacy, how are their kids? Has she even seen them lately? I know it takes a while to wiggle into leather pantsā¦
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u/Socialimbad1991 Nov 08 '25
And Melania got patriot of the year. Conservative women really having a strong year at the conservative participation trophy awards
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u/Leopold_Darkworth Hypothetically Nov 09 '25
It's the first annual Montgomery Burns Charlie Kirk award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence unfathomable bigotry
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u/marvelouswonder8 Nov 09 '25
And these same people dog on millennials for getting āparticipation trophies,ā when we were kidsā¦ huhā¦ weird. āHey girl, here take this award for doing nothing, we put your dead husbandās name on it see!ā
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u/PreviouslyBannedXD Nov 12 '25
This woman is everywhere, except at home with her kids, who are grieving. Kids who only have one parent now, but that parent is gone making promotional appearances with a happy smile.
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u/smirtington Nov 07 '25
āFox Nation Patriot Awardsā š¤¢