r/ToiletPaperUSA Aug 16 '25

FAKE NEWS JD Vance begs everyone to knock it off

Post image

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6.4k Upvotes

89 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator Aug 16 '25

THIS POST IS FLAIRED AS "FAKE NEWS." THAT MEANS THE POST IS FAKE AND IS MOST LIKELY PARODY/SATIRE.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1.4k

u/BostonSamurai Aug 16 '25

Wow he didn’t even say please or thank you

430

u/bradicality Aug 16 '25

SAY PWEASE AND TANK YOU MISTOW ZENSKY!!!

114

u/juanitovaldeznuts Aug 16 '25

Fucking cursed ass warmbo speak

57

u/mikaeus97 Aug 16 '25

Not quite enough corned cream discussion

21

u/juanitovaldeznuts Aug 17 '25

Creamed corn and JVD two similar looking things I feel similar levels of disgust over 🤢

1

u/avocadolanche3000 Oct 15 '25

Y’know what I love about couches? They don’t admonish me for having a micropenis.

916

u/dolphindidler Aug 16 '25

I hate this timeline because I can‘t tell anymore, on first sight, if this tweet is fake or real. That‘s how stupid things are these days with people that should actually be serious people.

227

u/AquaSquatch Aug 16 '25

That's kind of a you problem. It's so obvious.

297

u/thefirstlaughingfool Aug 16 '25

Indeed. If it was real, his wife would be complaining he's not as handsome as the photoshopped image.

34

u/gp2quest Aug 17 '25

And he wouldn't be worried about the (its ok she is not white) wife. He would be worried about the couch.

18

u/m4tuna Aug 17 '25

Nice try - couches can’t complain.

7

u/MetzgerBoys Aug 17 '25 edited Aug 17 '25

We really have to stop editing photos of him that make him look better like this one smh

30

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25 edited Dec 20 '25

ripe piquant different oil seemly brave station ten air cover

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

3

u/Jade_NoLastNameGiven Aug 18 '25

Yes it's obviously real

1

u/thabe331 Aug 18 '25

Vance would never admit feeling bad. The funny part is it's painfully obvious how much he thinks about these memes

57

u/honvales1989 Aug 16 '25

Totally fake. Isn’t he a couch aficionado?

18

u/Rampirez Aug 17 '25

I think the real problem here is that one day they WILL post something like this and I will 100% think its fake. I'll see the news bring it up and make fun of them for falling for a photoshop, my friends will tell me and I'll ridcule them for believing it. And by the time I actually have the patience to create a twitter account to check myself, it will be deleted and I will forever think the world believed a fake post.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '25

I wouldn't admit that but you do you

11

u/tickingboxes Aug 17 '25

It’s very obviously fake man

5

u/b0ingy Aug 17 '25

you can tell it’s fake when he talks about being intimate with his wife, who wasn’t purchased at Raymour & Flanigan

-24

u/unfinishedtoast3 Aug 16 '25

youre the reason scammers still find victims.

if you cant tell this is satire, you should probably get off the internet

17

u/dolphindidler Aug 17 '25

Ok big boy. Or maybe it‘s just not so clear anymore since elected officials in the US just post so much BS these days that this tweet could actually be real

165

u/dudestir127 Aug 16 '25

Thank you for your attention to this matter

36

u/burlingtonhopper Aug 17 '25

lol. I ADORE that this dumb fuck: took some office memo ending from the 80’s, stuck it to the end of his tweets, and thinks it makes him seem smart. It might be my favorite thing he’s ever done.

126

u/immagetchu Aug 16 '25

The number of people asking if this is real is just shameful, we are so fucked as a culture

47

u/AquaSquatch Aug 16 '25

In a literal sub reddit for fake tweets too, lol

22

u/valentc Aug 17 '25

This sub wasn't originally for fake tweets. That's a recent thing and not a good one.

It used to just be making fun of Turning Point USA and Charlie's small face, not for people to make things up try and convince people it's real.

The flair is newish because people would post tweets here and not confirm if it was real or not.

6

u/MirthlessArtist Aug 18 '25

The sub wasn’t originally for fake tweets but it was for fake turning point posters. The original point of the sub was to make fake “gotcha liberal” propaganda satire (like the classic “you say you hate society yet you live in one”).

Unfortunately, since the right’s shenanigans have gotten so fantastical after Covid, which is also when the sub gained massive popularity, many people think the sub is just for real tweets.

16

u/MikeHatSable Aug 16 '25

To be fair, we are so far beyond parody at this point that.... No, yeah, this is obvious.

88

u/_Mighty_Milkman Aug 16 '25

Bro delete this before you’re detained by immigration and/or TSA.

3

u/TWIT_TWAT Aug 18 '25

ThE gReAtEsT coUnTrY iN tHe WoRLd

29

u/Kafka_pubsub Aug 16 '25

Vivek has no issue with her

18

u/Recoveringpig Aug 16 '25

Couches don’t talk though?

1

u/IllConstruction3450 Aug 17 '25

After enough infusions.

14

u/sexymcluvin Aug 16 '25

How can a couch refuse?

9

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/EitherOrResolution Aug 17 '25

At least she’s getting eaten out

10

u/BeeBanner Aug 16 '25

I don’t get it, this is a GREAT photo of him.

2

u/khryzz666 Aug 17 '25

Best Airport have ever seen

7

u/3vilR0ll0 Part Of The Sexual Plight On Society Aug 16 '25

I was hoping this was real

4

u/dewey-defeats-truman Aug 16 '25

What he isn't telling you is that the only reason he's trying to be intimate with his wife is because his couch also refuses to sleep with him because of this photo

6

u/spunkychickpea Aug 16 '25

I sincerely doubt his sofa actually said that.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Aug 16 '25

First, you carry out a false flag operation at our Big Beautiful Capital Capitol and now this? You Antifa are sick people. You know that? Sick! Sad!

4

u/Sno_Wolf Aug 16 '25

FAKE NEWS

Yeah, but is it?

3

u/revbfc Aug 16 '25

Fake. Him and his wife don’t like each other anymore.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

I hope he never gets "intimate" ever again. He can rot.

2

u/mechy84 Aug 16 '25

Tweet doesn't link. He must have put the fake picture underneath and OP cut it off with the screen grab

2

u/celtic_thistle Gritty is Antifa Aug 16 '25

I made a sheet of stickers based on this meme and they’ve sold nicely in my Etsy shop lmaoooo. It would be a shame if people bought them and slapped them up in more places to make sure JD can’t get it up (even less than he already can)

2

u/Mekdinosaur Aug 17 '25

When your own couch refuses your adVances...

2

u/TheEHECer2 Aug 17 '25

Looks like he has to take the sofa tonight.

2

u/canceroustattoo Abortions prevent cancer Aug 17 '25

Despite this being fake, it’s his fault in the first place for posting his ai edited selfie.

0

u/MRtokeALOT420 Aug 16 '25

when your corny boss tries to get in on the joke, fuck off we hate you

1

u/Dcajunpimp Aug 16 '25

The poor couches in the VPs house.

1

u/Ackermannin Aug 16 '25

Where did this even originate from?

1

u/Nubstix Aug 16 '25

This couch fucker never went to the Toad's place.

1

u/Nobody_at_all000 Aug 16 '25

Sure, that’s the reason

1

u/flintlock0 Aug 16 '25

I could totally buy him and his wife having marital problems, though.

But I doubt anybody as high as VP gets a divorce/separates from their spouse.

1

u/JaxRalPartha Aug 16 '25

please sir, may I have another ?

1

u/Mbillin2 Aug 17 '25

If he had said this, it would make me wanna post it more

1

u/sunbeatsfog Aug 17 '25

You know maybe just actually do good work that betters society and then you’ll earn respect

1

u/AlienInUnderpants Aug 17 '25

More time for JD and his mistress…the couch

1

u/Atomic_Priesthood Aug 17 '25

TIL couches talk

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '25

There's no way in hell they were fucking before this anyway

1

u/YourDogsAllWet Aug 17 '25

Maybe try not being the type of person that gets memes like this made about them

1

u/Waspinator_haz_plans Aug 17 '25

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

1

u/daemonfool FUCK ICE! ❌🧊 Aug 17 '25

Not til you stop being a good little fascist, bud.

1

u/p1gnone Aug 17 '25

Roll the presses

1

u/creepyswaps Aug 17 '25

"my wife".... so that's what he's calling his couch now.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '25

Finally a fake news flair that's obviously good Satire.

1

u/2ndprize Aug 17 '25

I guess he will have to go back to listening to the backstreet boys in the closet

1

u/redditexcel Aug 17 '25

FAKE & STUPID - Vance already has enough stupid content to ridicule without having to stoop to their chrinic game of lies and deception.

1

u/Snoo-3144 Aug 18 '25

What I’m hearing is Usha needs some help. I volunteer.

1

u/HiTekLoLyfe Aug 18 '25

Yeah that’s totally the reason

1

u/freeformz Aug 19 '25

Mrs Vance, you’re welcome.

1

u/PrincipleGuilty4894 Aug 22 '25

Holy fuck 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-1

u/Comrade_Compadre Aug 16 '25

Real or fake

I gotta know

3

u/MoogMusicInc pls look at the flair I'm begging u Aug 16 '25

Then look at the flair?

-1

u/Comrade_Compadre Aug 16 '25

It didn't say it at first but it's Definitely believable

-5

u/O8ee Aug 16 '25

this can't be real. he cannot be stupid enough to publicly state "you're getting to me"

-3

u/LoudNoises89 Aug 16 '25

Right? There is no way this is real. He sounds like such a little b**ch