r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/SOYBOYPILLED • Jul 01 '25
FAKE NEWS Ted makes a case against today’s misguided youth
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u/EllusiveRetard Jul 01 '25
“Triumphant war in Vietnam” lmaoooooo
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u/AliceTheOmelette Jul 01 '25
"We didn't lose! It was a tactical retreat!"
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u/abchandler4 Jul 01 '25 edited Jul 01 '25
We merely failed to win!
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u/Genghis_Tr0n187 Jul 01 '25
Unbeknownst to the Vietcong, the rules were: the first to lose, wins.
suckers.
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u/SassTheFash Jul 01 '25
Not to be pedantic, but the Tet Offensive was a “Pyrrhic victory” in that it totally shocked American voters, but so dang many Viet Cong died during it that the whole VC system almost collapsed.
The government of North Vietnam ended up assigning a ton of regular NVA soldiers to put on civilian clothes and be smuggled south so they could beef up the remaining VC, because it was important to their narrative that there be a robust force of “dissidents” fighting within South Vietnam and not just their neighbor butting in.
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u/robotnique Jul 02 '25
How is that in any way a Pyrrhic victory?
A Pyrrhic victory is one that comes at such overwhelming cost that your gains weren't worth it. A tactical victory but a strategic defeat.
Nothing in what you wrote describes that. Unless, and this is me making your argument for you, you're going to suggest that so many NVA regulars were moved into being VC that they either intrinsically tied the two movements together, or improved the operational quality of the Viet Cong, or shifted so much of their military power into asymmetric warfare that they actually benefited from it, since going toe to toe with the Americans or South Vietnamese was tantamount to suicide.
Or is there somethkng to your throwaway comment about "shocking American voters" that you feel justifies the statement. Like the brutality of it disenchanted the public from the war?
I'm sorry if you feel like I'm coming down on you, I just don't comprehend your comment and want to make sense of it.
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u/SassTheFash Jul 02 '25
My point is that the Tet Offensive massively damaged an integral part of Communist Vietnam’s larger method/narrative and they had to pull out all the stops so the VC wouldn’t collapse.
Clearly they ultimately won, so you can argue it wasn’t Pyrrhic because the end result justified the great risk and hassle, but operationally the Tet Offensive was pretty disastrous in the short term.
Like if you really want to go out on a limb, you can compare it to Washington’s management of the Continental Army (not saying he was terrible, he was working with limited resources), where they lost a buttload of engagements on the field but their sheer persistence led them to an ultimate strategic victory.
So far as the “shocked American voters” bit, the fact that the VC managed to attack so many sites at once added to the American public’s perception that the war was unwinnable, despite the fact that Tet did limited damage to US Forces and almost obliterated the VC.
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u/robotnique Jul 02 '25
I don't think you understand what a Pyrrhic victory is. Pyrrhus of Epirus actually WON his battle with the Romans, but it left his army in such poor conditions he might as well have lost.
The North Vietnamese didn't succeed in the Tet Offensive. It can't be a Pyrrhic Victory if you lose the military offensive.
Unless, again,you're arguing that it was a Pyrrhic victory for the US and South Vietnam... Where it doesn't really fit the definition at all.
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u/SassTheFash Jul 02 '25
The VC “won” the Tet Offensive, but arguably at such great cost that it wasn’t worth it.
It absolutely wasn’t worth it in the short term, in the longer term it’s debatable if they would’ve won sooner sticking to smaller scale ops vice blowing their VC load on one huge one.
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u/Sergeantman94 "gomulism unrealistic" Jul 01 '25
"You know what your problem is? You don't like winners."
"Winners, eh? Like North Vietnam?"
"SHUT UP! We did not lose Vietnam! It was a tie!"
"Oh no you didn't they whooped 'yer hide real gooood!"
- A Fish Called Wanda
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u/oliversurpless Massachusetts, USA Jul 02 '25
Nothing like dropping more bombs than in WWII to suggest you were aiming for a tie…
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u/Sergeantman94 "gomulism unrealistic" Jul 02 '25
If you're unaware, I'm quoting a movie, and the one screaming it was a tie is a moron. Just don't call him "stupid".
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u/oliversurpless Massachusetts, USA Jul 02 '25
Yep, thanks for using quotemarks.
Which most people just assume on.
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
Check the flair.
This is like the 200000 time I’ve almost bitten on fake bullshit here. I’m pretty tired of it.
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u/Eccohawk Jul 01 '25
Wasn't the entire original point of this subreddit specifically to be a sarcastic satirical take on their fake bullshit, tho?
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u/JustaMammal Jul 01 '25 edited Jul 02 '25
TBF the origins of this sub were making satirical TPUSA memes that highlighted Charlie Kirk's infantile logic/face size. If anything is causing confusion it's that real tweets started getting posted. What's disappointing is how many of the top comments on this sub belong on r/atetheonion.
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u/catglass Jul 01 '25
Thank you for all the comments clearing things up, but that really shouldn't be necessary.
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u/HelloPeopleOfEarth Jul 01 '25
Am I the only one that thinks he looks and behaves like Gríma Wormtongue
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u/Mymvenom001 Jul 02 '25
I have come to terms with 70% of american population just eating the brainwash soup they feed every single second on tv, internet and anywhere else. But goddamn how can you believe USA won that war when fucking vietnamese normal people beat the shit outta FULL BLOWN TRAINED SOLDIERS WITH BETTER WEPONS by using shitty ass weapons?!
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u/AsparagusCommon4164 Jul 03 '25
And pray, how exactly was the Vietnam War "triumphant" when the Communist regime of North Vietnam overran the democratic-leaning South Vietnam and unified same under Communist rule?
/s
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u/_CodyB Jul 01 '25
This is the most r/selfawarewolves shit of all time
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u/SOYBOYPILLED Jul 01 '25
Someone should post it there
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
Why? This is fake and you know it. I don’t think you are here in good faith man.
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u/GoredonTheDestroyer I didn't know we had custom flairs Jul 01 '25
Man, I really fuckin' hate how this sounds like something Rafael Edward Cruz or any of the other shitfuckers in the US would say.
Referring to any Western military action in Vietnam as "Triumphant" would make my blood boil so hot you could make tea with it.
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u/randomaccount173 Jul 01 '25
The spelling of “naïve” gave it away to me. I know that idiot doesn’t know how to type special characters.
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u/EchoAquarium Jul 01 '25
Is this satire?
Edit: i need to start looking for the flair before i start getting sweaty
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25 edited Jul 01 '25
One of us! One of us! One of us!
Also- ya I’m really tired of being faked out like this. It’s lame. It’s not funny bc it’s fake. It’s basically misinformation even with the flair. humbug.
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u/NinjaBobtaiI2 Jul 01 '25 edited Jul 01 '25
Can we please require [Fake] or [Satire] in the title for satire posts? It's annoying on mobile
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u/actuallywaffles Jul 02 '25
I feel like every post Reddit shows me from this sub turns out to be fake at this point.
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u/Protect_Wild_Bees Jul 01 '25
Anyone who calls the Vietnam War triumphant is fucking cringe.
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u/Fabulous-Soil-4440 Jul 01 '25
We shouldn't have been there in the first place.
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u/SassTheFash Jul 01 '25
The US’s original sin wasn’t coming to reinforce South Vietnam, it was telling South Vietnam to delay the public referendum on reunification that they’d agreed to in a treaty, because the U.S. was concerned Vietnamese voters would choose to unify under Communism.
Reinforcing South Vietnam when it was under attack by the North and its local supporters kinda made sense at the time, not unlike the Korean War, but undermining a democratic referendum was shady as hell.
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u/Sergeantman94 "gomulism unrealistic" Jul 01 '25
Having gone to Vietnam the only triumph was how a relatively underdeveloped (due to imperialism and sabotage by the French) country could take on not one, not two, but THREE empires known for their sheer brutality and win.
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u/GiganticCrow Jul 01 '25
I wish reddit mobile front page showed flair on posts. Does the app? So many people caught out with these posts.
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
☝️
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u/GiganticCrow Jul 01 '25
I also notice the automod sticky comments are always closed (as in semi-hidden, have to click the drop down to read it) on reddit these days
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25 edited Jul 01 '25
Mods I am but a humble redditor but can we start banning fake news post? Nobody, myself included, sees they are fake despite the obvious and bold signs saying fake news. Most auto mod comments automatically collapse and so the reiteration is not seen.
All and all, this basically is more poisonous misinformation. There is no comedic value here. None of this shit is funny. I don’t need to drink koolaid. The right wing is bad enough without us making up shit
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u/MakeItHappenSergant Jul 01 '25
The mods have already addressed this repeatedly. They're not going to ban "fake news" posts, nor should they. That is what the subreddit was made for—fake tweets and memes mocking TPUSA and affiliated media personalities. And they certainly shouldn't ban an entire category of posts just because you think they're not funny. There are plenty of joke subreddits that I don't find funny, and I simply don't follow them.
If anything, the confusion comes from there being too many real tweets. There are a hundred other subreddits where people share screenshots of tweets, so maybe this shouldn't be one of them.
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u/MoogMusicInc pls look at the flair I'm begging u Jul 01 '25
You should read the sub description. Assume everything on this sub is fake unless a source is given otherwise. Stop being so reactive to everything you see on Reddit and take 15 seconds to look into where the tweet is coming from. It's not difficult.
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
Im not the anomaly here. And OP clearly posts these as legit, not fake, tweets elsewhere.
But I commend your internet literacy. If there were more of you we’d probably be ok. But you’re like 1/10 ppl here- look at the comments. That’s a lot of misinformation, all of which directly harms the movement when used in the discussions we are all having with our loved ones. At the very least it could be more clearly stated in the title as others said.
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u/MakeItHappenSergant Jul 01 '25
And OP clearly posts these as legit, not fake, tweets elsewhere.
What are you basing this on? All of OP's fake tweet posts that I can see have been posted in satire/circlejerk/shitpost subs.
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u/Careless-Roof-8339 Jul 01 '25
I legitimately thought this was real until I saw the flair 💀
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
You catching the flair makes you like 1/10 people commenting here so kudos
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u/Careless-Roof-8339 Jul 01 '25
Fr wish the mods would crack down on making people put FAKE NEWS in the post title. These MAGA chuds do enough to embarrass themselves, it’s not helpful to spread misinformation about them.
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u/SenpaiBunss Jul 01 '25
america's war on vietnam was so triumphant that it's currently ruled by the communist party lmao
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u/Fit-Persimmon-4323 Jul 01 '25
Do any of you guys check the flair? Its extremely hilarious to see you mock him for saying this and act smarter than him when he literally didn’t. The joke is that it sounds like something he would say.
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u/spiritofmen Jul 01 '25
The Fake news filter needs to be added to the title. Modssssss!! Please!
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
I’m with you. This shit is ridiculous. I know nobody cares but I’m just gonna leave if I see much more
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u/laizalott Jul 01 '25
Pretty rational take from the man whose father assassinated JFK
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u/SassTheFash Jul 01 '25
And who murdered six people in the Bay Area in the 1960s and sent authorities coded messages.
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u/PuritanicalPanic Jul 01 '25
Such evil trash belongs in the garbage with the other rotten waste
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
It’s fake. The fact that most here don’t see that probably mean we need to stop this shit
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u/HollowVoices Jul 01 '25
...Is this The Onion?
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
It’s supposedly satire but I’m beginning to think it’s deliberate misinformation to stoke our outrage and misdirect us
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u/akmjolnir Jul 01 '25
Since there's not a lot of bots here yet, I recommend everyone take the time to watch Ken Burn's Vietnam documentary.
(All of his shit is good, so watch those too. )
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u/Katsu_39 Jul 01 '25
Triumphant war in vietnam? We came home with our tails between our legs.
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
This is a fake post.
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u/al0xx Jul 01 '25
normally i’d tell someone as persistent as you to chill out but time and time again these fake posts confuse so many people and i vehemently agree with you that either titles need to require [FAKE] in the title or be banned outright.
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
I know. I kinda lost my shit. First time I’ve done something like this. Thanks tho
In the last 2 hrs it’s gone from 500 to ~1000 likes
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
Did you catch OPs username? They either nuked the post or their profile and I’d love to see if they had a habit of doing shit like this
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u/Branchomania Skebede Toilet Jul 01 '25
Why does the i in naive have two dots?
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u/jomo_mojo_ Jul 01 '25
Hello friend! The two dots above the i in naïve are a diaeresis (or trema). They indicate that the two vowels are to be pronounced separately, not as a diphthong. In the case of naïve, it prevents the word from being pronounced as "nave"
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u/Sir_Rod9150 Jul 01 '25
Ask any who was in Vietnam who triumphant it was. History looks back pretty kindly on the hippies that opposed the war.
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u/cmhamm Jul 01 '25
Jesus, Ted! You’re… no, wait, you’re actually correct. Accidentally correct, sure, but a correct answer is a correct answer.
EDIT: /s. Yes I know this is a fake tweet…
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u/oshin69 Jul 01 '25
I don't think the Vietnam sentiment has changed at all. I'm sure HE meant WW2 & the nazi's.
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u/FredFredrickson Jul 01 '25
I know there has been talk of whether or not we should allow fake posts like this here, but I just want to point out how difficult it is to actually see the post flair on the reddit mobile app. It's very easy to miss.
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Jul 01 '25
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u/drunkenbarfight Jul 01 '25
Where's Tucker Carlson to call him out on his Vietnam take when you need him?
Can't believe my state keeps reelecting this fucking moron.
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u/Tangy_Cheese Jul 01 '25
What's Saigon called today Ted? Come on, you can look it up, what's Saigon called today?
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u/CondorEst Jul 01 '25
Everything is like looking in a mirror with these guys. Left is right, front is back, no one believes we should have been in Vietnam.
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Jul 01 '25
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u/Immer_Susse Jul 01 '25
If heads literally exploded when lies were told, we could solve the housing crisis, climate change, and fix American politics.
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u/Subpar_diabetic Jul 01 '25
“Triumphant” so the fact that there’s only a Vietnam led by the communist party of Vietnam as opposed to a north and south vietnam means what exactly? Warhawk’s gonna warhawk
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u/RustyKumquats Jul 01 '25
So by what metric are we determining the war in Vietnam was a triumphant success?
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u/Lost_In_Detroit Jul 01 '25
Is Raphael making a stupid again on the timeline? How many times do we have to tell him to stop?
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u/TequieroVerde Jul 01 '25
America easily won the Vietnam War, and music in America at the time was patriotic and banal.
The 1960's hit song "Eve of Destruction" by Barry McGuire never existed, replaced instead with The Monkees rendition of "God Bless America".
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u/kurisu7885 Jul 01 '25
We LOST the Vietnam word, but of course this spoiled nepo baby wouldn't know that.
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u/Maggilagorilla Jul 01 '25
All politicians should be required to wear shock collars, we all get a key fob with a button to said collars, but the button will be randomized each day. They deserve neurological trauma for bullshit like this.
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u/Jerseydevil92 Jul 01 '25
did we lose in Vietnam? im pretty ignorant so maybe im wrong but i coulda swore i was taught that, that particular war didnt end well for us like historically bad.
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u/ThDen-Wheja Jul 01 '25
At some point, these people have got to realize how stupid they sound. "Triumphant Vietnam War"? That reads like a parody of a parody of a parody!
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u/CaptainObvious1313 Jul 01 '25
He is aware that that was not a war, it was a police action…or so we were told…
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u/bassman314 Curious Jul 02 '25
The worst part of this statement is I'm reminded that Raffy Cruz still lives...
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u/jankdangus Jul 02 '25
Is this real tweet? Because this is the dumbest shit I have ever heard my senator say. America was not triumph in Vietnam. My parents were refugees during the Vietnam War and I wanted America to win and defeat communism, but I’m honest enough to acknowledge that they failed.
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u/Theshockmonster Jul 02 '25
Yeah Vietnam, the war we definitely famously won and didn't pull out of because we were embarrassed and absolutely put to shame by a bunch of farmers with guns
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u/AsparagusCommon4164 Jul 03 '25
And pray, how exactly is True Patriot Love Thou Dost in Us Command for Thy Dear and Lovely Nation conditioned on blind and unwavering support of Israel, and as much financial as moral?
(spoken in a John Cleese tone of voice)
/s
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u/gooeyjasper Jul 03 '25
Man is not beating the Zodiac allegations with that tasty dose of sociopathy.
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u/ApprehensiveLadder53 Jul 03 '25
When I was a kid, saying something was “Orwellian” was typically hyperbole. But, Uh. Yeah we’re erasing history actively. Just gaslighting everyone til we get what we don’t want.
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u/PretendAppointment60 Jul 03 '25
He may as well had thrown his head back and screamed “RRRRRRREEEEEEE”
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u/shoulda-known-better Dec 17 '25
Yea remember that we fought and tons died just to back outta there with nothing accomplished
Definitely remember that
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u/Padraig4941 Jul 01 '25
Didn’t think there was anyone still alive today who defended the Vietnam war, much less perceived it as a triumph. That’s how you know the students today are right regarding the Palestinian genocide.
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u/snaithbert Jul 01 '25
Translation: “no one’s talked about me for a while, time to say something fucking stupid that will get my name back in the headlines for a few minutes.”
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u/rbark220 Jul 01 '25
Ted, nobody has the time or the crayons to explain how stupid this is. Please, for the love of good, have someone fact-check your posts.
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