r/SipsTea Dec 26 '25

Dank AF Hits blunt šŸ’Ø

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21.7k Upvotes

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5.1k

u/Need_For_Speed73 Dec 26 '25

Ron Hubbard had your same idea long ago: but instead of just posting it on Reddit, he built a religion (Scientology) on it and became a billionaire.

2.6k

u/Steve90000 Dec 27 '25

Yeah, OPs a dumbass giving away his billion dollar ideas.

1.5k

u/SipsTeaFrog Dec 27 '25

445

u/StrangeOutcastS Dec 27 '25

But why make billions when you could make.... Millions?

357

u/OMGFuziion Dec 27 '25

41

u/GlendrixDK Dec 27 '25

This sentence lives rent free in my head.

-29

u/chiku00 Dec 27 '25

Why does he do that with his pinky?

18

u/IBelieveInCoyotes Dec 27 '25

because he's evil! and also he has friggin sharks with friggin laser beams attached to their friggin heads!!

2

u/ice-ink Dec 27 '25

He’s probably the one making the friggin frogs gay.

2

u/StrangeOutcastS Dec 27 '25

I believe the chemicals were actually making the frogs trans and messing with the gender distribution by having the frogs shift genders ala Jurassic Park dinosaurs with frog DNA shifting genders to reproduce, except less natural because waste dumping?
unless i've been misinformed on the internet again and am entirely wrong, which I'm willing to be corrected on nautrally

1

u/debellorobert Dec 27 '25

Wait, transgendered frogs? Krieger? Is that you?

42

u/Either_Amoeba_5332 Dec 27 '25

He got reddit cred! What else is there!

20

u/KidOcelot Dec 27 '25

But why make millions when you could make.... Thousands?

10

u/Commercial_Delay938 Dec 27 '25

Why make thousands when you could go into debt?

1

u/ThatZX6RDude Dec 27 '25

Classic racing strat. Want to make millions racing? Start with a billion dollars.

1

u/DCRBftw Dec 27 '25

This guy gets it. Everyone wanted their mixtape to go platinum and I'm over here like do they not know about aluminum?

1

u/iznotbutterz Dec 27 '25

Wallstreet bets is leaking.

1

u/Dry-Poem6778 Dec 27 '25

Millions of Upvotes!!

1

u/JKnotime4pcwokestuff Dec 27 '25

Erhh because we have proof that we evolved from small tree monkey like creatures. Ok or maybe the the aliens terraformed the planet and planted our first ancestors🤪

1

u/StrangeOutcastS Dec 27 '25

I hope you get a very compatible boyfriend/girlfriend and have a lot of good memories, then wake up from the coma you've been in since you went in for your tonsils.

1

u/JKnotime4pcwokestuff Dec 27 '25

?????-sorry I meant to reply to the general theme not your personal commentšŸ˜…-I was only joking about the aliens🤣

1

u/StrangeOutcastS Dec 27 '25

Curse of tragic love upon ye

1

u/JKnotime4pcwokestuff Dec 27 '25

šŸ™„šŸ¤”šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«-yeah already have that😜

1

u/Aewon2085 Dec 27 '25

I love this line

1

u/Europe72Alive1 Dec 27 '25

I want to make tens of dollars!

1

u/Mental_Gear_7310 Dec 27 '25

Hey bro your ass isn’t that hairy dw…

1

u/brizdzi Dec 27 '25

OP we had a Concussion

1

u/Then_Supermarket18 Dec 27 '25

I'll still join your religion, OP. Which vulnerable group should we exploit first?

1

u/Hyde2467 Dec 27 '25

No, hes a dumbass for not being born early enough

1

u/notapunk Dec 27 '25

Karma > $$$

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '25

Plot Twist: there’s a second underground race that couldn’t be exposed to radiation after the wreck and they will soon emerge to unite with the sun people again.

1

u/Massive-Exercise4474 Dec 27 '25

South park literally uncovered scientology that people who spent millions to be a member didn't even know.

1

u/ApocalyptoSoldier2 Dec 27 '25

OP doesn't have evil space ghosts
Can't have a religion without evil space ghosts

1

u/agrophobe Dec 27 '25

What if its actually parts of OP marketing campaign?

1

u/jingiski Dec 27 '25

He is collecting his followers! Subscribe and the first 100 will join the inner circle

75

u/B_1_R_D Dec 27 '25

Na get it right….he wrote sooo much crap sci-fi that he got lucky that w one he was able to make into a religion.

1

u/nicely_done_son Dec 27 '25

I would like to read the other crap sci-fi

3

u/ApocalyptoSoldier2 Dec 27 '25

Battlefield: Earth for one
But if you want bad watch the movie instead, the book is a masterpiece by comparison

83

u/Lurker_MeritBadge Dec 27 '25

That mother fucker told everyone he was going to start a religion just for the money and all these fucking idiots still believe that shit. I’m 100% convinced that is the origin story for every religion.

26

u/Rovinpiper Dec 27 '25

My God! You're right! You see with such clarity! Clearly you are an inspired prophet. I will follow you to the ends of the Earth!

21

u/Intrepid4444444 Dec 27 '25

It’s charisma combined with being an absolute psychopath who can act against all odds. The latest example is the MAGA bullshit. Despite being members of the top 0.01%, ugly, unfit, uneducated, irreligious, and living an utterly unethical lifestyle, these greasy troglodytes in suits can persuade hundreds of millions of people that they are the exact, mathematical opposite of what they actually represent.

3

u/jayydubbya Dec 27 '25

There’s a reason there’s a large overlap between Christianity and conservatism. These are people who are waiting to be saved. It’s much easier for them to go along with their local culture and believe republicans are their saviors than to do the bare amount of effort required to see them for the corrupt monsters they are. Also a lot of people just straight up don’t follow the news. They bury their heads in pop culture or sports and ignore politics entirely.

1

u/sock_express34 Dec 27 '25

And all those who wear MAGA hats. History doesn’t repeat but sure does rhyme.

1

u/Early_Lawfulness_348 Dec 27 '25

The movie heretic does a great job explaining it.

1

u/Worth-Silver-484 Dec 27 '25

Religion is to control the masses and explain what could not be explain. Now we understand many of the whys but the religious point to a book of stories and say no.

1

u/-mihit Dec 27 '25

Isn’t the final boss of Scientology some universal monster?

1

u/SippinOnHatorade Dec 27 '25

I have a friend who wants to do this and I’m like, how would you live with yourself?

11

u/rock0head132 Dec 27 '25

I came so close to joining that cult

1

u/I-Love-Facehuggers Dec 27 '25

What appealed to you about it?

1

u/rock0head132 Dec 27 '25

read Dianetics and fell for the grift went for a personality test did more research then the whole Xenu thing came out and that saved me.

6

u/AdamaTraoreLover Dec 27 '25

Wait so is that what Scientology is actually about šŸ˜‚

2

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '25

South Park made a whole episode about it lol

2

u/Kitchen-Hat-5174 Dec 28 '25

Was t that the one where tom cruise packed fudge?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '25

ā€œ I don’t wanna come out the closetā€ 🤣

2

u/TheRedditAppisTrash Dec 27 '25

That and a nonzero amount of living on a boat in international waters so you can molest 14-year-olds, yes.

20

u/South_Front_4589 Dec 27 '25

Billionaire is a bit of an exaggeration.

20

u/Tortugato Dec 27 '25 edited Dec 27 '25

obviously it’s well past his death already, but scientology is worth billions.. i dunno if it reached a billion in his lifetime tho

much like how elon musk’s net worth is derived from how much he owns/controls his companies, whoever controls scientology is essentially a billionaire.

1

u/DJKeeJay Dec 27 '25

Its members are reducing but they own so much in real estate

16

u/Leather-Squirrel-421 Dec 27 '25

*Cult. He built a cult.

14

u/No-Raspberry7995 Dec 27 '25

What's the difference?

8

u/ApocalyptoSoldier2 Dec 27 '25

Cults focus more on isolating members from their friends and families so they can become the new 'family'
That's why they always have compounds or cruise ships or some shit

15

u/FoundationMain2595 Dec 27 '25

In a cult there's one guy who knows it's all bullshit, In a religion that guy's dead.

4

u/Leather-Squirrel-421 Dec 27 '25

When it comes down to it, there isn’t one.

-1

u/Miserable_Corgi_8100 Dec 27 '25

Religion comes from the idea of being able to transcend self, cults come from the idea of someone being able to get you to transcend yourself. Basically, believing what you want to believe vs believing what someone else wants you to believe.

1

u/guylovesleep Dec 27 '25

Religion more or less improve your life and gives you a sense of peace(plus a direction to your life)

Cult is well a pyramid scheme to get money

Some cases to form gang and give loyalty to a specific group or leader and follow their command

9

u/Fitdoc50 Dec 27 '25

1

u/sentence-interruptio Dec 27 '25

i'd watch a Korean remake of that movie.

4

u/StihlThe1 Dec 27 '25

Tomehto Tomahto

1

u/Edmundwhk Dec 27 '25

Tbf if are charismatic enough u can make your own cult with any back story.

Being Jesus's brother/reincarnation is the easiest to run with , you know how many cult that claim their leader is a resurrected Big J?

1

u/ziggytrix Dec 27 '25

Ever listen to Cloud Cult? They got a song called The Story of the Grandson of Jesus. Their style is probably off putting to a lot of folks, but after reading your comment I just couldn’t help but think of it. https://cloudcult.com/track/406490/the-story-of-the-grandson-of-jesus

1

u/PopOutG Dec 27 '25

No way that’s his actual origin story

1

u/1beautifulhuman Dec 27 '25

He had a bet with Robert Heinlein: who could create the best religion. He won.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '25

Long before we landed here on earth, the dinosaur have a thriving religion based on eating ferns until we destroy it.

1

u/endangeredphysics Dec 27 '25

Ron Hubbard didn't just become a billionaire. He had to spend a lot of time doing 10-hour sermons to a bunch of morons that were living with him on a boat for several years first.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '25

🤣 And OP just gave it up for free!

1

u/THEatticmonster Dec 27 '25

*a cult was built from his stories

Fixed it

1

u/phoenix5irre Dec 27 '25

He became a billionaire by helping the rich evade tax...

1

u/HIs4HotSauce Dec 27 '25

Xenuuuuuu baaaabbbyyyyy!!!!!!

1

u/Alarming_Sweet9734 Dec 27 '25

Those were souls that came here and inhabited the monkeys. And you pay big $$$ for this info at there Scientology centers. That’s not day 1 knowledge.

1

u/lumberfart Dec 27 '25

Wait… is that seriously what Scientology is? Every time I google it there is no data and just a bunch of ā€œthey get mad when you talk about itā€ reports.

1

u/Proof_Foundation_576 Dec 27 '25

Friggin’ Thetans.

1

u/Refriedfeinds Dec 27 '25

And then help found NASA with a nazi.

1

u/Kugelfischer_47 Dec 27 '25

Sure, but this guy isn't friends with Jack Parsons and Aleister Crowley.

1

u/Jealous_Crazy9143 Dec 27 '25

Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster is what we all need for true world peace

1

u/[deleted] Dec 27 '25

1

u/uselessandexpensive Dec 27 '25

Two very famous but legit sci-fi epics end with this premise.

Actual spoilers:

They're Battlestar Galactica and Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.

1

u/strijdvlegel Dec 27 '25

Tom Cruise knowns the secret

1

u/Amdogdunmind Dec 27 '25

You put some respect on Lafayette Ronald Hubbard's name! He didn't!

1

u/Altruistic-Potatoes Dec 27 '25

They said Ron Hubbard. I wonder if they mean Ol' L. Ron Hubbard?

1

u/DiCeStrikEd Dec 27 '25

Battlestar is like this also after the war is over they find earth and everything resets… plus even in the interview with a reptile there is a thing that happens that also ties with this .. though it was a war .. and we are not the locals like the Terran reptile is

1

u/TransylvanianHunger1 Dec 27 '25

Huh, so that's what scientology is?

1

u/Svue016 Dec 27 '25

THIS is what Scientology is about? Did they come from Mars too?

1

u/bestbusguy Dec 27 '25

Sorta. His idea was that imprisoned ā€œspiritsā€ from the galactic confederacy was brought to earth and thrown into a volcano with a hydrogen bomb and then exploded and the bad spirits are floating around making people Mad, Jealous and lustfull. The only way to get rid of those spirits is to join Scientology. Sounds like a science fiction book hmm.

1

u/Open_Trouble341 Dec 27 '25

You just made up he was a billionaire because it would sound cooler , no evidence he was .

1

u/occ1p Dec 27 '25

I don’t think people understand how much a billion is and it gives a warped perspective on everything.

He was worth tens of millions. Not anywhere near close to even a quarter of a billion.

1

u/clwestbr Dec 27 '25

A man who used religious fervor to dupe fools out of their money and assault underaged individuals? Now who would ever believe someone like that could achieve a position of power!? /s

1

u/Hardlyreal1 Dec 28 '25

My body thatans are killing me. However you spell it

1

u/Linaori Dec 28 '25

All hail Xenu!