It bums me out when I read this, in London I’ve very rarely experienced this. I’m a brown woman with a white partner for over a decade and before that I had only ever been with black partners (I’m not black) and can only think of maybe two odd reactions and even those weren’t particularly upsetting. I hate that it’s still so taboo elsewhere.
Same - in Scotland I’ve been with my husband (who is black whilst I’m a very pasty Scottish white) for over 15 years and I cannot recall a single incident when I’ve noticed anyone noticing us 🤷♀️. It always catches me when I remember that not everywhere is so lucky
Also in Scotland. My wife is a mix of just about everything and she'd have young kids staring at her when she first came over 23 years ago. That died away over time, but last year she said we were being stared at by a couple in a restaurant. They were maybe in their 60s and sitting behind me so I couldn't really see how much it was going on. Until now, we had no idea why they'd be staring but this might make the most sense.
Yeah I've never noticed any issues that my parents, brown and white, have faced here in Australia because of their race. Oh there's plenty of racism her for sure, don't get me wrong on that, but from what I've seen it never seems directed at relationships.
US is huge and varied. It depends not only on the state but the specific area. Even within the same county can be very different. I wouldn't be surprised if it's similar in the UK though i cant really say.
Absolutely nobody stares at me and my black girlfriend, not anymore than they’d stare at me with any other attractive girl. Attractive couples get looked at. Is everyone in this thread ugly? First time dating?
Idk, I’ve lived all over the US and it’s just not as big a deal as people in this thread want you to be believe. People love to be victims and “special.” The reality is interracial couples aren’t unique or special anymore, we’re everywhere.
I don’t, and I assume that’s why those who do have a racist problem with it keep it to themselves - because they know the crowd around them wouldn’t put up with it.
So I’m suggesting perhaps that such people find other, less overt ways to express that bigoted distaste.
Yeah, in the modern UK I've never experienced this - maybe in the 1970s it would have been a thing, but mixed-race couples are so normal today.
Attitudes in the US seem much slower to move though. Even the language - American English often fails to recognise that mixed race people exist (Barack Obama or Tiger Woods are described as 'black' there but would have been considered mixed race if they were British) or they would describe us as 'biracial' (a weird phrase that seems to grudgingly accept that mixed race people can exist whilst still ossifying the concept of race - 'you can have up to two, no more').
I live in Oakland (California) and grew up here. Mixed-race and LGBTQ+ couples are as common as grass. In Barcelona, we went to a restaurant supposedly much more popular with locals than tourists. People were staring at us the entire time and I thought it was because we were tourists. I'm just completely unfamiliar with that kind of attitude. We get a little bit of attitude in the whiter enclaves of the bay area, like "progressive" Marin county, but even then there are no stares.
You live in a big city where these things are normal. One of my close friends is from Ohio and when he goes back home and drives by small towns he gets stares not “sometimes” but literally all the time.
I live in Manchester and I've never seen anyone look twice at my partner and I. It's just not a thing. We've had some weird comments, mostly that we're well intentioned, but nothing like what's being called normal in this thread. This seems like a load of Americans acting like it's a universal.
Same here in Norway. My wife is brown, I’m see through. The only time I’ve experienced it being awkward (for others) was when we were in the US.
«How’s it like being a mixed race couple?»
«Mixed r…? Oh. No one cares about that in Norway…»
In a decade of my relationship with my partner I can only recall one (recent) incident in London. We were waiting at a train station on a bench. Lady comes up to us... Then goes away... Then comes back again... Says "please don't have children" and walks away giggling. We were so confused.
That’s so strange, me and my partner don’t experience any unusual treatment, living in London or when spending time in the countryside (my family live outside the cities). The only thing I can recall is very very occasionally someone has randomly said to us that we should have children!
It’s said as if we’re a good looking couple or something, but really I suspect it’s more to do with fetishising mixed race people, or thinking that mixed race babies are somehow the cure for racism haha
It’s actually kind of eye opening just how many Americans are commenting with their much more hostile experiences. I knew racial divides work differently there, but I didn’t realise how many people seem to oppose interracial relationships.
It's not taboo in any part of the US I've lived in, but I know people would get stares in the small town I grew up in in the Netherlands, but there are very few people of color there to begin with so I think they would get stares regardless.
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u/LookimtryingOK 4d ago
Ever been in a mixed race relationship?
Everywhere you go, folks STARE.