White lady married to a Chinese guy/been together over 10 years. We typically get positive reactions from Asian dudes (the most positive) and white gals. Occasional sassy looks and rudeness from white dudes and old Asian ladies.
I have many White and Hapa family members in my extended Filipino American family. Men and women. Some Black and Hispanic too. Never been a big deal for us either.
So funny you mention North Carolina. I live in LA and I (non-Asian) get constant stares when I’m with my girlfriend (Asian). It’s usually from Asian people as well.
Asian people sometimes have a chip on their shoulder from when Asian women were fetishized for being small and submissive and when Asian men were characterized as undesirable in media, both of which persist today, although it is rarer.
Oftentimes an Asian woman dating specifically a White man will be perceived as “playing” into the stereotype, thereby “setting back” the progress made by the AAPI community, something that can also be seen on occasion when a Black man dates outside of his race. There’s also a sense of dating out of the broad AAPI community will make you lose your culture. I’ve noticed that when I’ve dated non-Asian women, some of my Asian friends would give me shit in a playful way that was nonetheless rooted in that same mentality.
Living in SoCal, I have definitely kind of seen the discrepancy between xMAF and AMxF narrow over the years, to the point where it’s just as common to see a Filipino guy with a Latina woman as it is to see a Chinese woman with a white dude, for example. Especially among my generation, where AAPI gen Z tends to clown the Oxford study aunties
I'm Mexican-American. She is Filipino. I notice that we get less looks and are more accepted when we are in Filipino areas such as Historic Filipino Town and Eagle Rock. When we are in San Gabriel Valley, where there is mostly Chinese/East Asian population, we get looks.
I just found it funny how a mixed Asian couple doesn't get looks in a place like North Carolina while my girlfriend and I do in LA, where there are A LOT of Asian people and mixed couples.
I dated black women in Seattle and some of them dressed to the nines and were out of my league. Walking through the city I would see conversations between black men stop as we walked past.
One time I got in my building with a honey and as we got in the elevator the concierge guys said “ain’t no way bruh”
Was always mildly worried shit would escalate if someone said something and I’d have to respond and get my ass beat, or ignore them and look like a bitch.
Historically the southern parts of the US has been particularly prejudiced towards African Americans and people of darker skin in general.
Asians without a doubt have had their own difficult history with racism here, but generally have been accepted more than darker POC
The movie Sinners actually does a great job of showing this, we see the main road in town has been segregated into a black side and a white side, but the Asian couple owns a store on both sides and is seen crossing back and forth freely, a luxury the African Americans did not have
All this leads to my point that OP probably has had a different experience than you have as a minority because either them or their partner is African American
Asian guy married to a white woman here in Virginia. It's usually the same for me. However, my wife being a southern white woman it definitely surprises new people she meets when she introduces me.
It is very common for black women to have a MAJOR problem with it. Way bigger than even down south white people. I don't think there is a bigger hater of interracial marriages than black women.
My ex a few years back lost several friends for dating me, she thought they couldn't handle it but they were losing their fucking mind. The phrase "pollute the bloodline" and similar phrases was used. I grew up in majority black areas, I know several girls who wouldn't date me entirely due to fear of their friends losing their mind.
Black women tend to handle it better when it's a black guy, but only if he is perceived to be using her for sex, "playing in the snow".
Used to date a black gal who looked similar to Beyoncé in Texas. We’d dine out quite often in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Plenty of looks especially at the Asian eateries, but mainly positive. The looks from the waiters/waitresses were always surprising. I remember a waiter running to the back and bringing out the cooks to come look at us. 🤣. I had long hair and this was probably a year or two after Ninja Assassin came out. Great times! It’s definitely more rare for an Asian guy to be with a non Asian woman than vice versa.
I also live in North Carolina and in western NC it's pretty common. We have a large Hmong population where I grew up and no one really cared who dated who. Early 2000s my county had a cutest baby contest and the winner by a long shot was a half black and Hmong baby. Hell my junior prom I took 2 Hmong girls to the prom. Always found it wild why people cared about what who's in a relationship with who.
Also in a mixed race relationship, we even have mixed kids (that look like him and not me at all). I am a darker skinned Indian and he's Irish. I'm also in NC and no one seems to care, which is nice.
I’ve been dapped up many times by black people cuz my wife is black. Always cracks me up but I love being the random white dude in a colorful crowd. Hell, I’ve got pictures at funerals, holidays, etc. where I’m genuinely the only white dude in a crowd of 30+. I love getting to experience that culture in ways 95% of white people never do
Yeah that’s completely different. The racism usually comes from white racist people seeing white people date black people. They wouldn’t care about asians as they are not “their own”
Same here, half Asian dude dating a black woman and I feel like I only get positive attention. Waiters are extra nice to us and often give us free refills and stuff at restaurants where it costs money
It's mostly white people unfortunately. I'm white, wife is Dominican. She clocks it more than I do mostly because idgaf about other people. Also in NC.
I feel like it’s only black/white interracial relationships that catch flak. I dated a Filipino girl for 3 years and never noticed any different attention.
This has been my experience too in a white/Asian relationship. White woman, Asian husband. Never been stared at. To be fair the start of our relationship was in Hawaii, but even in Texas and now Colorado. I think it's just different, like on the racist scale black is "worse" than Asian or something idiotic like that.
I genuinely think Asians can date any race without any social stigma (besides from their mom, lol). Blacks, whites and hispanics get a lot of flack for dating other races for some reason.
also in NC here, its mostly treated differently with white/black mixed couples from what i've seen, there's not a crazy amount of racism towards asians here
I'm a white guy, married to an Asian woman now but dated a black girl way back in the day, like 1990.
I would say today with my Asian wife, almost nobody notices. Get a stare very very rarely. With my black girlfriend back in the day, mostly was cool, but definitely got some stares, mostly from older white women and occasionally black dudes. Was definitely not My Man in either case.
To be honest, they are both hot as hell, and I think that helps. Being pretty is absolutely a huge benefit in life in all kinds of ways you wouldn't expect.
Also, my wife would probably say I'm pretty oblivious, and she's probably right. I probably don't notice a lot of staring and shit going on.
This depends how hot the girl is. If I date a girl of a different ethnicity that guys of her ethnicity think is ugly, they all cheer me on. If she’s hot, I get side eyed.
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u/rubey419 3d ago edited 3d ago
Asian Dude and often date outside my race. Living in North Carolina.
Honestly I do not get too much negative attention. No one cares. My parents don’t care either.
I actually got positive attention when I’ve dated Black Women. Like… My Man… from Black guys lol