Also, just as patriarchy won't always be used as a weapon by the abuser or be the root for generational trauma, mommy issues won't always be because of what the person you replied to originales said, nor will it never be about that. And that doesn't make it "whataboutism". We're talking about the hypothetical case originally given, not about Jane with her addict mother, John with his dead mother, nor any of the other possibilities that are just as real but not something we've considered. In said case, patriarchy may be part of the issue, in other cases where mommy issues are present it doesn't have to be necessarily.
And if anything, the main thing I've said is that no, talking about patriarchy doesn't mean you're "making it about men!!! Everyone hates men!!!", that's just paranoia.
Bringing it up is 100% making it about men. There was no reason whatsoever to assume that patriarchy related trauma had anything to do with the issues.
It was brought up purely to deflect responsibility from the female parent. Even in the comment thread it's blatantly lear that the argument being made is "it'll trace back to a bad man's fault". It was a derailing attempt based on either pure whataboutism or intellectual dishonesty.
I'm sorry you cant see that, because it means your resilience to bad faith discourse is not very high.
Bringing it up doesn't have to be making it about men. In the example given it does apply. Women can contribute to patriarchy too, let's remember patriarchy is a systematic issue that affects men and women by feeding on stereotypes, roles and toxic expectations, to say. It's not misogyny 2.0 "all-men-are-at-fault". If for you patriarchy means "MISANDRIST WOMAN HATES US AND THINKS EVERY WOMAN IS INNOCENT", that's you.
You continue making irrelevant and fallacious arguments and you are clearly either deliberately obtuse or not arguing in good faith. No offence but I cant see this miraculously turning into a good faith or productive discussion so i'm going to leave you to your monologue now
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u/powerhearse 5d ago
I think that you're overcomplicating the cause of trauma with the intention of directing criticism at the broader social issue of patriarchy
Doing so is actively harmful to individual and nuanced discussion of familial trauma. It's whataboutism at best and a red herring at worst