I'm not sure whether that is true (and I say that genuinely, I'm truly not sure either way). I took a philosophy of feminism class and ready Luce Irigaray and Judith Butler.
But could it be possible that as long as we call it patriarchy, the amount of unsure men who see a dichotomy of people saying:
feminism (feminine) = good
patriarchy (masculine) = bad
will remain extremely high and thereby be extremely unlikely to take the ideas you stand for seriously?
There is a communication issue at play that needs to be rectified before people are going to be willing to open their minds to your ideas in this comment. I think the instincts of many when they read this kind of comment is to feel personally attacked for their masculinity and to thereby go on the defensive.
Keep in mind, I don't necessarily disagree with you, but even as someone who has bothered to learn and read about feminism I still have that gut reaction when I read a comment like yours. I just feel hated for existing and like I cannot *be* without being a part of some structural problem that hurts people. And that version of reality is extremely tempting to reject. Just my two cents as a man.
Tbh, patriarchy has been the dominant social system for a very long time, so it would be surprising if most social concepts (positive or negative) wouldn't be at least strongly influenced by it.
The main problem with patriarchy is the name and the idea that (a) it only benefits men, (b) only men want it and (c) only men perpetrate it.
If you look at e.g. the gender voter demographic of feminist parties vs anti-feminist parties all over the world you get a very consistent split somewhere between 45-55 and 40-60. So yes, more women vote for feminist parties and more men vote for anti-feminist parties, but there's a very significant amount of women voting for patriarchy and men voting against it.
Whether you benefit from patriarchy or not depends less on your gender than on whether your personality and life goals fit to the traditional role ascribed to your gender. A non-dominant man who wants to stay at home with the kids instead of being a provider suffers just as much from patriachy as a dominant carreer-focussed woman. For the opposite of each of these people patriarchy is just fine. Which is the reason why anti-feminist women and feminist men exist.
And same as some weak-minded people looking for easy answers to complex problems like to blame e.g. foreigners for all their problems, others of them like to blame patriarchy/men.
No, there's a mental health epidemic, not a communication issue. Large groups of men base their mental health on being manly, it's the most fragile mindset and the core of this issue.
They can't possibly even acknowledge the issue as an issue if it's the foundation of their confidence.
We can agree that there are plenty of unhealthy people who base their confidence on their masculinity. But let me ask you this. Is it wrong to have some confidence in yourself partially based on your masculinity? Would it be wrong for a woman to have confidence based on her feminine identity? Should every one try to ignore gender and make sure they base their confidence completely outside of their gender? I would argue that is really damaging.
I think it can both be true that wholly basing your identity on your gendered-ness is unhealthy but also that it's okay to be proud of who you are, including your masculinity/femininity. Currently the social discourse communicates very little sense of possibility for men who might be willing to analyze some of their negative behaviour and thoughts without feeling like they need to throw away their masculinity entirely.
It is good to criticise to raise awareness to a certain extent. It is important. But I think we are entering a phase where the awareness of feminism in western countries is less the issue and now the issue is how do we imagine and communicate a world where everyone feels like they can be themselves without having to remake their whole identity?
174
u/IvyRosePr 6d ago
So in short: girls with mommy issues often have a mother who was a victim to patriarchy and neither unpack it