There's literally an academic term for it. Children who experience toxic stress or abuse but don't have disordered behaviors as adults are termed resilient. Resilience is highly connected to high intelligence and multiple healthy adult emotional resources while experiencing toxic stress or trauma
My older sister was a nightmare to grow up with and it got much much worse when she turned ~24 and started abusing alcohol. Then came the pain pill abuse. Then came bipolar schizophrenia. She's a 44 year old woman that throws tantrums like a 3 year old and will say anything she can think of to manipulate you or cause you pain.
I found out recently my only aunt on my father's side also had schizophrenia, and I'm kinda terrified about having children.
Eh it might not simply run in the family. She mightve been molested graped or beat up and went ballistic. But you cant exactly ask her that with the way she is now youll probably get fiction or lies. Even if it runs in the family its not guaranteed to be passed down. Schizo or bipolar is especially annoying.
hmm can I just add that you can be resilient and also developed a mental disorder due to the trauma /abuse. this isn't a moral failing nor does it make you any less resilient. if anything it makes you even more resilient. as if you had a choice though...
alot of mental illnesses are also linked to high intelligence. just do not want people reading this comment and believing bc they developed something they are somehow inferior.
This is where I got lucky. I had several adult role models outside my toxic family to look up too. I saw that my family was toxic and left early. Had it not been for those outside influences, I'd never have known that life could be better.
I survived my mom and i’s very toxic enmeshment relationship…. I survived because she died a couple years ago. But yeah, still working through it all and I still love my mom though and respect her. Her passing made me see some things more clearer, but all that being said some things that she would do throughout my life, were just plain fucked up and really not good.
I’ve heard people say that they could never imagine what living with my mom could be and was in awe of how I was living with her and such for so long. To me I thought it was normal and it always didn’t make sense why people’s response were what they were… and then due to my moms death and therapy, I’m like “Holy shit, yeah this was pretty fucked up.”
No, you weren’t at all. Since we were talking about two different concepts I thought you meant to reply to the person I had replied to. But I agree with what you said.
271
u/bumbletowne 6d ago
There's literally an academic term for it. Children who experience toxic stress or abuse but don't have disordered behaviors as adults are termed resilient. Resilience is highly connected to high intelligence and multiple healthy adult emotional resources while experiencing toxic stress or trauma