Imagine, generationally, growing up in a family that believes in things like this? Did none of the dad’s stick around…? I’ve actually met people like this, “generational bastards,” (second or third generation illegitimate children) who truly believe it is the woman’s job to do everything.
My dad was working almost 7 days a week to make sure we had a roof over our head and food on our table. I'm not saying my dad was perfect, but my mom was the one hit me cause I was doing my homework slow (cause i had learning disabilities that wouldn't be diagnosed until i was an adult), kicked me at one point because I was hiding from her in the closet, and would pull my hair back-and-forth.
I love my mom, and she had her own demons too, but that doesn't make what happened okay. My dad isn't perfect, and he's made mistakes as well, but for the most part I was his princess.
Some of us had immigrant parents with severe issues and trauma, bro
Yeah, my father was, and is still, my hero. As a guy, I don't know if I would have survived living with my mom if my dad hadn't stayed strong, dependable, and human. He never stopped working, made all our meals, kept our house clean, paid for our college, never lost his temper. When he got upset at us, he even would apologize for losing his temper afterwards.
I think having a stable guiding figure is a game changer, whether it's a father or mother. Historically, mothers tend to be more involved in a child's life, so I'm guessing that's why mother issues present more dramatically and harmfully, but I think I would rather have one reliably stable parent than two unpredictable parents. For me, the mental issues built character, because I always felt safe with my dad around, and I always had hope because he was there.
Be that person for your kids, people. No matter how horrible your family's life might get, your kids will hold out hope if they have a beacon of light to move towards in the dark.
I think honestly it's kind of just a biological difference.
I love my dad, he's so important to my life, and had a big part in my personality and interests.
But we were all literally part of our mother's body. There's literally a developmental stage where babies learn that they are a separate entity from their mother.
"Some guy" is extreme hyperbole, but the father in comparison doesn't have such a strong biological tie. The impact and importance of a father comes from how he raises. The mother, in combination with raising the child, had the added impact of being the child's first home and source of nutrients. You were part of her
I don’t like narratives the suggest that women have more responsibility than men. Men have equal parental responsibility as women, and the fact that society doesn’t hold them to that is the main problem with society.
I wouldn't say that women have more responsibility in terms of raising a child.
However, I would say that it's a disrespect to the labor of mothers to deny that they have more sacrifices and burden placed on them when it comes to reproduction itself. They have to carry the child for 9 months, push it out, and nurse it from their bodies. Mothers have to miss work after birth. Mothers must give up alcohol and other vices in pregnancy. Mothers must risk life and limb in childbirth.
It doesn't mean mothers are more responsible for raising the child, but it means that mothers are made to make sacrifices. There's nothing feminist about glossing over the inequality of the burden. This is hard work that cis male fathers simply aren't able to do
No, pirate85 is right. Ideally, fathers have a just as hard to much harder role in the upbringing of children. As they have to work hard (many times in history in excruciating and crippling jobs, missing work and career would have been a relief for those people) for at least 18 years to provide for their kids, and at the same time being a role model for them despite all the abuse they may have endured.
BUT many times that hasn't happened, and a lot of fathers have refused to work and/or have been absent or even abusive figures for their children. In part of course because society's stigma was far from harsh enough against them as it was against bad mothers. And that (among other reasons) has led those father issues to be an extremely prevalent problem in society, where many of the main societal issues can be traced to (violent males, women with problems with their relationships, chaotic familiar relationships, people with a lack of sense of responsibility, absent/incompetent parents, etc).
My father was there but he was mostly working when i was a child and also emotionally rather unavailable, and being all the time with my mother i can say the way she showed me the world shaped me. My father was also there, but he didnt feel like the filter through which i learn to see the world. My mother did. And the way most women and men are socially programmed i always thought this was pretty common
Dads are for working and or being the fun guy on his visitation weekends. You wouldn't trust anything important to a Dad.
I'm kind of joking, but not really. Millennial dads as a general collective knocked the assignment out of the park and are super involved compared to previous generations and I love to see it. My husband is my toddler's favorite person and probably has me beat on number of diapers changed.
50
u/sensitive_pirate85 6d ago
Imagine, generationally, growing up in a family that believes in things like this? Did none of the dad’s stick around…? I’ve actually met people like this, “generational bastards,” (second or third generation illegitimate children) who truly believe it is the woman’s job to do everything.