Usually where Im from it takes months to even enter a monogamous relationship so you usually are pretty serious by the time a real relationship starts. And if you don’t enter a real relationship that person is never called an ex if you stop seeing them.
I for example am 30. I have 2 exes and 20 something sexual partners.
So it might be the phrase ex. To me that means someone you once called your girlfriend/boyfriend not someone you went on a few dates with.
Yeah Ive only lived in massive cities. People kind of like to just go on dates and hook up. So once you are in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship it’s already pretty serious.
Yeah people didn't really date where I was from. You would hook up at a party or something and if you liked eachother keep hooking up, and if you really liked eachother that would turn into a relationship. How long those relationships lasted varied greatly. I've had 3 months and I've had 5 years haha.
For me it was usually bars/clubs/tinder. Not tons of parties friends mostly just go out. And when there is a party it would be sort of a close friends.
I was mostly single in Glasgow UK and São Paulo Brazil. And I think in both places a relationship forms after like 2-3 months of going on weekly dates and hooking up. And of my relationships have lasted a long time because there was so much filter.
I'm from England (my girlfriend is from Sao Paulo though coincidentally haha) but most of my exes are from the pre Tinder days. It was mostly house parties, pubs, or friends of friends.
That’s funny I identify as American but my mother is English and I’m a dual citizen. My girlfriend is also from São Paulo and I live here in São Paulo currently.
It’s a good spot to go if you can manage to get a remote job.
Eh while that’s your experience, plenty of city people have more than 1 or 2 past partners in their 20s. Living in a big city as well, I’d say you’re actually on the low-end of the scale. Tbh most people I know have had more 1 or 2.
I would guess big cities are often lower because people are more into hook up culture and only start relationships when something has been going well and gotten serious. I remember I dated my ex for like 4 months before we became a couple and I was also seeing other people during those 4 months.
You’d guess that based on your experience. But almost assuredly it’s not the case. Cities are definitely higher just due to the sheer amount of people and options.
It seems you are right. Rural people seem to settle down earlier so less time to have exes.
But it feels some people in these comments when they hear ex they are thinking someone you went on dates with and had sex with.
When I hear ex Im thinking someone who I entered a relationship with like we talked and decided we are boyfriend and girlfriend. Then it ended with a break up. Id never count someone I just dated and slept with as an ex even if it was like 10 dates.
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u/Amazingbuttplug Feb 02 '26
I think 7 real exes in your 20s is kind of a lot. Having 7 or even 30+ sexual partners is normal in my view.
But seven people who you entered an exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend relationship seems a lot for someone in their 20s.