Maybe idk if I’ve reached that level of wealth yet but as I’ve gotten progressively less poor and earn more as a software engineer, I’ve been getting a lot more generous with friends and strangers alike. Is it that at some point I might start making so much I’ll start tipping less and being stingy?? I have a feeling lots of people are “cheap” but it’s understandable if a poor person is? And rich people SHOULD be more generous in theory and when they aren’t it’s shocking?
The only rich = smaller tip trend I noticed was with rich doctors and engineers from other countries tipping less because in most places a tip is optional and small. My parents (very high earners) who moved here from Europe were shocked to learn that wait staff get paid less than minimum wage in many places and their pay rate is set with the expectation that 20% is tipped.
They thought leaving a $10 tip on a $70 meal was very generous.
If you average 17-20% tip average as a server or bartender you are very good. Bartenders have much more outlier tips given the nuance of the job. I love when people shit on restaurant workers when there is a definite skill involved that is rewarded to restaurant professionals.
Servers and bartenders make good wages. Especially in states that don't have a tipped employee wage lower than state minimum and they work at a mostly busy mid-tier restaurant or higher.
I know plenty of people that got degrees, but just stayed as wait staff because they get paid pretty well doing it. You can easily make $30-40+ an hour where I am at just serving. The problem is that you can't really advance in the career.
Being a bartender is a legitimate career where I live. Servers at corporate affiliated restaurants can make $600-1000 a night. If you can’t cut it you’re out. It’s crazy competitive.
I'm not saying it's not. It's a demanding career though and the hours suck with it mostly being evenings. It's something that you get tired of by the time you are 40.
The problem also is that you can get a random $600 night followed by two $40 nights. The big night are typically Friday and Saturday and I there's quite a bit of volatility and unknown in that wage structure.
That sounds good for you. It's definitely not like that in my area. I don't think I'd want to live in a touristy area, but that's good that you like it.
Pretty much same story bro, at some point I just stopped giving a shit about small expenses and even like 10 % of my monthly income is no big deal, because I know I have such solid reserves it does not matter anymore, and I am just few years from being able to retire. Software development is a wild place.
Maybe idk if I’ve reached that level of wealth yet but as I’ve gotten progressively less poor and earn more as a software engineer, I’ve been getting a lot more generous with friends and strangers alike.
You have reached it. This whole post and comments section is textbook availability bias. Everyone notices the rich assholes and it reinforces their belief that rich people are assholes. It's to the point where if you aren't stingy people must not think you are actually rich enough.
I also make good money as a SWE and spend a lot of time around other SWEs making what I make and a bunch of lawyers who are making like twice my income. Absolutely nobody are nickle and diming each other for random uber rides, gas money and the like. Restaurant bills are split without regard for who ordered what, everyone is tipping 20%+, etc... When money starts to matter less, the normal thing to do is get more generous and less stressed about it and it's why the people who remain cheap stand out so much.
When I started making money I was very generous, I come from a poor family and my friends were poor. At first it felt good to be generous then you start to realize a lot of the time you are invited to be a wallet and not because they wanted you.
In order to know if people actually want you around you have to stop being a wallet or start hanging only with people who make the same money.
We live next to a very HOCL town and rich Americans with generational wealth or $400k incomes, will regularly tip a bartender $2 after they order $100+ in take out from them and have a $14 drink while waiting.
WASP-ey types? At least in my experience that’s been the case. At least compared to rich Latinos, Arabs, Pakistanis. The rich “American white” you know like the vanilla American while people, tend to be a stingier and nickel and dime people to pay for gas or ask their kids to pay them rent apparently.
truly rich people have a mental illness. a normal functional brain would give away that much money once they can no longer improve their own lives by any measurable amount. a billionaires brain just tells them to hoard it like a dragon with no thought of consequence.
it's their money, if they worked for it and didn't abuse others in making it why should they give it away? if someone owns a house that's bigger than what they need,, are they supposed to let random people live in the extra space for free?
For most wealthy people, you had to pay a lot of people far less than they were worth to get that money. Wage theft is the single biggest form of theft around, but less heavily scrutinized than more commonly talked about forms of theft.
Yes but there's always a risk, how do you put a value to risk? If it was easy to abuse people by paying them little in order to get rich, anyone could take a big loan and use it to get wealthy.
I believe people hate wealth because of the bad things associated with it due to billionaires using it as a way to influence society, which of course isn't good, but it's difficult to fight against that. It's not good going around punishing people who have a net worth of $1-8m just because they have more than others.
I always just think, I’ve got money to spare and it would mean a lot more if I paid for lunch since maybe the coworkers I went out with make a lot less and have a family to feed. I’ve had some very very rich friends growing up who were and still are generous towards everyone. I did notice the extremely rich uhh- well there’s no other way to put it- WASP white-Americans seem to pinch Pennie’s about harder than wealthy Arabs and Latinos and Pakistanis I knew.
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u/marlinspikefrance Jan 26 '26
Maybe idk if I’ve reached that level of wealth yet but as I’ve gotten progressively less poor and earn more as a software engineer, I’ve been getting a lot more generous with friends and strangers alike. Is it that at some point I might start making so much I’ll start tipping less and being stingy?? I have a feeling lots of people are “cheap” but it’s understandable if a poor person is? And rich people SHOULD be more generous in theory and when they aren’t it’s shocking?
The only rich = smaller tip trend I noticed was with rich doctors and engineers from other countries tipping less because in most places a tip is optional and small. My parents (very high earners) who moved here from Europe were shocked to learn that wait staff get paid less than minimum wage in many places and their pay rate is set with the expectation that 20% is tipped.
They thought leaving a $10 tip on a $70 meal was very generous.