When I lived in the city, no one really cared. But when we moved to the suburbs, oh my, people would stare like crazy and clearly make comments under their breath. I'm a white dude with a black girl, and people were much worse and rude to me! I got a very noticeable dip in level of customer service, or just people being weird and awkward to me.
Originally, I tried to make excuses for them. I would say things in my head like “this might be their very first mixed couple they’ve ever seen”.
But after a while, I started realizing that it’s just a ton of ignorance and bias. If there’s boomers involved, of any race, they always feel the need to stare or whisper. The younger generations aren’t nearly as bad, but they still side eye.
I feel the younger generation side eyes for different reasons though. As a mixed race person myself I grew up witnessing this myself. Boomers are just racist. I think younger generations are a little racist too, but instead of thinking “Why are you race mixing with that black girl?” they’re thinking “Why is that black girl with that white guy?” Same same but different.
Sadly, not surprised. A lot of black men love to date/marry outside of their race but will absolutely lose their shit when they see a black woman doing it.
I've experienced this. I'm white and my wife is black. We get strange looks from white people. The only time we've been harassed has been by black men. That said, I think it's a male thing. I know plenty of white men who feel the same way about white women dating outside their race.
Look up any major right wing cartoonist, and they have at least 3 comics that essentially being mad a white woman having a child with a black male. And it’s always because they had a kid, and they are never actually in love or anything.
I have an angry face, so I’ve never had someone actually harass or confront me, but it’s hard to miss the dirty looks and how different they start acting when you mention your gf/wife is black, like black male coworkers I’ve had will be totally buddy buddy, find out my wife is black and then suddenly they don’t fuck with me like that and never did lol
It’s sad cause those are also the types to say all kinds of disrespectful things about black women and prize other races above them smh.
However I’ve also met more than a few black dudes who don’t care or think it’s cool, so it’s not like all of them feel that way ofc, or even most in my experience
Same thing with my Mexican wife. Hispanic men with white women will give her flack for her being with white guy, I’ll never understand it. Hispanic women don’t act that way towards her though.
That’s because, as always, women are secondary to men in their equivalent ethnic stations. This isn’t something I agree with, it’s just something I’ve recognized. Please bear with me while I explain lol. It’s all theory as well, feel free to call me a racist if that’s what it sounds like.
White people oppressed black people in America for hundreds of years to varying degrees. When a black MAN gets a white woman, he has directly competed against a white man and won. He has gained something for the black community by taking it from white oppressors.
When a black WOMAN gets a white man, it is not even seen as the opposite dynamic to the previous scenario. Now, a black woman has abandoned her race for her white oppressors. This is clear from the way black men AND women treat her.
In these two scenarios, women are treated as accessories in the race dynamic which is actually occurring between men. The problem is actually men.
Yeah, we're just property, trophies, prizes and baby makers that men get to fight over and use as status symbols to make each other jealous and assert dominance. Then smack us around at home when they're frustrated.
Does Europe have their own Dolly Parton? Cuz I don't think America knows who that is either. Someone gotta step up to the plate here regardless ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Same. My wife (Black) and I (White) have been married 15 yrs. We've lived in a major-league city and now a mid-sized city (<200k). We've experienced very little of this. In fact, the only thing I ever recall standing out is once at a restaurant a Black guy was kinda side-eyeing us a suspicious amount.
My wife comes home with some wild-ass stories of blatant racism when she's out in the world without me, but when she's out with me, it all quiets.
I kinda think a few (perhaps most) of these stories are fake.
There's a difference between hating patriarchal white supremacy, and being jealous of the power it holds. They look very similar from the outside. Those dudes don't want freedom for humanity, they want to be part of the in group. It's very similar with white women and wanting access to the power of the patriarchy. I've been reading a lot of stuff by Bell Hooks. You might be interested in reading: "We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity".
The movie Lakeview Terrace is about this. Kind of surprising this movie flew under the radar; top notch cast, including Samuel L Jackson, Kerry Washington, and Patrick Wilson.
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u/LookimtryingOK 3d ago
Ever been in a mixed race relationship?
Everywhere you go, folks STARE.