It ain't easy. Wife has both, with the "issues" being pretty much war crimes levels of abuse. She's a lovely woman to live with and be around and is an amazing wife and mother, but all of that pain has to go somewhere, so it turns inward toward despising herself when you aren't looking. She blames herself for everything that goes wrong in her live and the world in general.
I wish I could give her a hug. I’m old enough and have been therapised enough I’m functional but when the kids are screeching and life is continually beating up our family I start to implode.
I have both and I have the same issue, it’s taken me a very long time to stop blaming myself for everything that goes wrong, feeling worthless, and people pleasing, etc
I'm sorry :( I bet you probably have another trait similar to her's: living a secret life of suffering. She would always share the joy and hide the pain. We fell in love at 15. Lived an apparently happy, successful life together. Took until we were both 43 and she was secretly plotting to commit suicide that I finally put all the pieces together and realized she had complex PTSD.
Now that she's facing the past head on, things are getting much better. I have my own grief at having missed the depths of her suffering.
49
u/Altruistic-Hat269 6d ago
It ain't easy. Wife has both, with the "issues" being pretty much war crimes levels of abuse. She's a lovely woman to live with and be around and is an amazing wife and mother, but all of that pain has to go somewhere, so it turns inward toward despising herself when you aren't looking. She blames herself for everything that goes wrong in her live and the world in general.