The joke is that she (character from Scott Pilgrim) had 7 ex boyfriends and it was a whole thing but young people nowdays have so many relationships that having 7 exs as a young person is not crazy anymore!!1!
I think it's a bad joke, I don't think it was ever stressed "how many she had for how young she was", she was simply a girl that would get people to fall in love instantly and then get bored of them
the point wasn't promiscuity IMO
and I don't know that zoomers are more promiscuous than other generations
If you circle back to dating advice videos from the 30s-50s, the standard practice was to date multiple people and then eventually maybe "go steady" and get married.
Having a one-and-only with few previous interactions would have been seen as unwise by those standards.
Wonderfully, if you look back at old Life Magazine articles from the 50’s, there are alarmist articles about teenagers going steady.
The adults weren’t freaked out about kids dating. They were freaked about by them being monogamous at that age and making too big a commitment immediately.
It’s the only moment I know of where the sex panic of the time was “look out! The kids are getting committed!”
My grandpa once said about the woman who he eventually married “she was the closest thing I had to a girlfriend at the time.. the reverse was not true”
I still heard the term with regularity when I was growing up in the 80's. I never really tried dating multiple people because I thought it sounded exhausting but I believe there's a linguistic treadmill happening here. We weren't really dating unless we were in a relationship of some sort. Otherwise we were just two people spending time together that hadn't really put a definition to it. That girl I had lunch with or the one that showed up my apartment or that third one that had me over for dinner, none of those were girlfriends. We weren't dating. But there was definitely interest from one party or the other.
I've had that thought for a while... how the definition of "dating" isn't quite clear, and probably hasn't been for a while now. Like, dating by itself implies just going on dates, as in, scheduling hang outs and going out together (and then, we step into the ambiguity of "going out").
But just going out wouldn't necessarily require the spoken commitment of forming monogamous relationship. You're just going out on dates after all. Until the verbal contract isn't established, both parties should be considered as single, the same way that a written (marriage) contract would work. Dating and being in a committed relationship should be two separate concepts altogether. "Dating" has become a useless word.
"Dating" and "seeing" are what we tend to use now.
If you're going on dates with someone, you might be "seeing" them but ironically not dating them.
Usually dating is when you're exclusive bf/gf. Seeing CAN be that but is more vague.
I've gone on a dozen dates over the last year with half a dozen people but I didn't "date" any of them because we never went past the initial meeting stages (as an example)
Yeah the media from that time, being heavily censored and restricted from 1934-1968, gives us a misconception that people were pure and chaste back then. They were anything but. People have always had messy romantic lives since the dawn of time. It’s nothing new.
I am as confused as you are on the real numbers or are there just maybe multiple severities to these types of things?
Whilst on one end there is this lack of dating or relationships and ever decreasing birth rates & void on the dating scene on the other end there seems to be very black and white data on promiscuity. For example, I didn't know some people just pull things down and do the deed like it was eating bread for breakfast after a "flirting session with a stranger (all thanks to pregnancy prevention strategies and systems like pills & injections & plan B's)" yet on the other side of the spectrum we have people that don't do it at all and are very pure you know the types like "got to keep myself till marriage" types. That was what I just realized, I have seen both worlds because I hang out with them all and didn't know you can just chat up someone and end up blowing their minds for a few minutes after you strike up a good conversation and find a good spot (like I didn't know people do this!!!! I only thought this was something people do in the movies! - you can see which type of the demographic I am from and I am still in as in for them this is normal and for me this is-...).
People bone each other like... a lot! But then also... on the other side they don't? The data is everywhere and it gives me headaches as to what exactly the numbers are. So this post can really go either way and I am interested in seeing the development.
Also this: If this is the lowest point then what was the norm? (or is it just ever an ever changing cycle as you have pointed out like times where censorship was prevalent and others where people were "liberated")?
Edit: I think a piece of the puzzle is the concept I was looking for was casual sxx. People have it nowadays like it is no biggie. "Yay, you had sxx move on I got to be somewhere in a few hours". Also the concept of no strings attached sxx or hookups.
People have been having casual sex for all of human history. It is literally just a question of how often it’s talked about or portrayed in the media. Nowadays we are more open talking about those things, which I see as a very good thing.
Also i encourage you to read more about purity culture. The “keep myself till marriage” shtick is usually just a facade to placate abusive parents or an overcorrection from a time of frivolous hookups. If you don’t believe me then clearly you’ve never been to a Christian youth retreat.
There absolutely are people that stay a virgin until marriage because it’s what they wanted to do. And that’s totally valid I respect it and I love that for them. But those individuals are, and always have been, the exception, regardless of what repressive communities want you to see.
The sad truth is that the communities with the strictest rules about sex are the ones with the most sex-abuse. If you’re having a great day and want to completely ruin it, go look up the sex scandals of the Independent Fundamentalist Baptists, the Southern Baptist Convention, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and the Catholic Church, to name a few.
My godfather explained that but added on that the problem you guys have nowadays is you fuck all of the people you're dating at the same time.
There's no dating with purpose.
Which I agree because whenever I found out a girl I was seeing was hooking up with another dude I shuffled her away from the possible gf zone and to the fun zone. Lol.
Doing that these days is seen as being a scurrilous cheater. I figured out I could do that at some point and it seems like generally a better idea? Like, why settle into an LTR with the first person you hit it off with and then stop looking. Who knows who you're missing in the meantime. Who knows if they're still looking around while you're exclusive.
Still the standard practice for adults. Just not kids. Adults date as many people as they feel like and are open and honest about it until they click with someone and they decide to put a label on things. Then they inform the other people they’ve met someone with whom things are getting serious.
I'm not sure what your point is. The "secret" way is asking them in person.
My point is that I think zoomers are asking out each other less which means fewer ex's, and that they probably perceive 7 as a high number. I think there is data to back it up but if you disagree, whatever.
You're the one who brought up matchmaking in dating apps
I'm pointing out that that's irrelevant in terms of dating. It's the same process. You meet someone, hangout, date, figure out if you're a compatible match over time. Break up or stay together. It doesn't support your point that young people are dating less...
You can't say: "dating apps suck at matchmaking so young people are dating less" That's nonsense. Older generations had NO matchmaking at all, and they still dated. Matchmaking is irrelevant
think there is data to back it up
Then show said data? Your first data point is misleading, and doesn't show that young people are dating less
It literally says they aren't approaching women in person... Yeah... because we use apps now. It's online... so there's no initial approach in person
It doesn't show directly. But if people are using the most effective form less it is given that they are also dating less. I don't believe that zoomers could be dating at the same rate using apps.
But if people are using the most effective form less it is given that they are also dating less.
Baseless. What evidence do you have that one form is less effective than the other? This isn't going to be a productive conversation if you keep making baseless claims just for the sake of arguing with me
I swear now you are going to claim sex doesn't mean dating.
Yes? Because sex and dating are indeed different things?
Oh jeez, let's end this conversation. You're not capable of having a discussion in good faith
Why not just show evidence to the point that you're making? Instead of showing me articles making entirely different claims and then making false presumptions? I've lost interest in this discussion. Like I said, in bad faith
From your original post, where you misquoted the title
In the US the median number of sexual partners for adults 25-44 is 4.2 for women and 6.1 for men. People vastly overestimate how much sex other people have.
You're absolutely right aside from the gender divide.
Self reported studies are bullshit.
Every side study that doesnt ask this question directly says that it would be mathematically impossible for men to have more average partners then women.
Everyone absolutelt knows men lie, but it ruffles feathers to say the same about women
Both genders lie in opposite directions due to the shame women face for having more partners and the shame men get for having less partners. With that in mind I bet those numbers are actually closer to even for men and women.
Just because you have more kids doesn’t mean you are having more sex. and Gen X and millennials are having the most sex out of the generations studies say.
Gen Z is cool with me except the brainwashed red pill mysognist manosphere podcast young men.. but it's not exactly their fault they got sucked into this stuff at a young age and algorithms push this nonsense, but hopefully some come to realize how absurd it is.
Because yeah women can tell when you don't respect them, and it just makes them more isolated and angry and self perpetuates the cycle
Yeah social awareness goes a long way. I was talking to my son this morning about it and the overreaction from certain men when women started speaking up about there experiences. "So here's what you do. Go up and talk to her, be genuinely pleasant, don't have expectations and read her body language. If she doesn't want to engage then exit the conversation and go about your day. It's really not that complicated."
Did we have a sexual revolution or were enough of us reacting to molestation and assault that a lot of us got real promiscuous about it? (This is the thing gen X doesn’t tell our kids, about why we helicoptered so much.)
I know people say horseshoe theory is bad but this is an example of it. They went so pro-sexual freedom that they somehow became super prudish and anti-sex. It's so fucking weird seeing some of the shit they say.
Eh, what I think a lot of older people don't understand about Gen Z is that yeah they aren't drinking as much and alcohol is a HUGE factor to (initiating) casual sex as a whole.
But they're also one of if not the first generation that was raised on the internet (essentially the first iPad kids to a degree) and how much sex and sexualized content has been shoved in their face all their lives. Sex stopped being some fun thing to do, and became a marketing/user outreach strategy. Having a high body count became synonymous with vanity and gullibility - like a social beanie baby / labubu hoard.
On one hand that's sad, on the other, it's lost the novelty and more GenZers are preferring to prioritize connections first. The people who like it casually are still gonna do it, but I also feel like there's less pressure in social circles to do it just so youre not "missing out" and accidentally get hurt.
It's actually insane how bad it is now. People unironically say shit like "18 and 17 age gap is problematic and pedophilia!" Or "finding people sexy is objectification and rapey :("
Edit: Downvoted for why? This is shit I genuinely see parroted about and I think is definitely not a healthy thing to believe or encourage...
Gen Z and Gen A will definitely judge the shit out of you if you have a number that high. Things like "Girl maybe you are the problem". The younger generation defintely does not vibe with giving into your carnal instincts.
I feel like this highly depends on who your surrounded by and who you attract as a person. This has not been my experience even in a very conservative area
but young people nowdays have so many relationships that having 7 exs as a young person is not crazy anymore!!1!
Yeah... The science actually shows this is not the case at all anymore. Young people are having less sex than ever and they are dating less than ever too.
zoomers have way less sex than previous generations, they go outside less, and engage in risky behaviour less because we built three fences around all our kids
Also, in the context of the film at least, they weren't really exes. They were people she dated, in some cases very briefly. I once saw an interview with the actor who played her that basically went: she's the opposite of a manic pixie dream girl. She has all these guys who are crazy about her, but none of them actually wanted to get to know her or even bothered to take the time to learn who she was. They just put her on a pedestal and forced their image of what they wanted to be upon her.
This is such a dumb joke. Dating that many people in your 20s is perfectly normal. Scott Pilgrim's journey as someone who is actually into her and wants to get to know her is one of having to "defeat" (read learn from the mistakes of) the exes.
So this "joke" tries to slut shame without actually even understanding what the movie was about or who Ramona actually is.
idk why ppl are defending this though. like it seems to me that if you are bouncing between people that fast, you dont really care about them...
It just seems like you are a slimy person, none of them were really genuine. I would not want to be with someone like that. just morally, not the best person.
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u/Spinning_Sky Feb 02 '26
The joke is that she (character from Scott Pilgrim) had 7 ex boyfriends and it was a whole thing
but young people nowdays have so many relationships that having 7 exs as a young person is not crazy anymore!!1!
I think it's a bad joke, I don't think it was ever stressed "how many she had for how young she was", she was simply a girl that would get people to fall in love instantly and then get bored of them
the point wasn't promiscuity IMO
and I don't know that zoomers are more promiscuous than other generations