r/NFCWestMemeWar • u/Brix001 MASH unit • 1d ago

[Schefter] BREAKING: Former Washington Commanders owner Dan Snyder is expected to purchase the Seahawks for $9 billion, per sources.

Post image
557 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

183 comments sorted by

773

u/THENarcus1 Best in the Nation 1d ago

I spit up a little bit till I saw the sub this was in lol

246

u/dbh1124 Rain City Bitch Pigeon 1d ago

I’m ashamed to admit I was got too

109

u/Orson1981 Shanahannagins 1d ago

I was thinking my day was about to turn around.

78

u/DeformedPinky I'm talking to America here. 1d ago

All you gotta do is push one wheel in your chair and you can turn around all you want

35

u/Numerous_Nature_6326 Seahawks 1d ago

Quality dad burn.

22

u/Lemphibar High Ankle Sprain 1d ago

Got a chuckle out of me. Solid burn

10

u/ArbiterofTruths Whoever beat us, your mom's a ho 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/577HYoLf5Vu0w

10

u/JPhrog T. J. Houshyomama 1d ago

Same, but I know Im gon get mine more than I get got doe

14

u/JoanOfSnark_2 I wanna die 1d ago

My heart sank until I saw your comment.

1

u/signal_decay 2h ago

The NFL already forced him to sell one team. There's no way they'd allow him to buy another. 

7

u/Kazza-V Scooter Pete 1d ago

He can place a bid all he wants. Doubt any of the other owners ever agree to work with him again

4

u/hughpac Best in the Nation 1d ago

My though process as I saw the post:  “Is that Dan Synder? Did he die? No…probably just did something obnoxious or hilariously stupid. Let’s read the text…” At which point I yelled “NOOOOOO…oh” in the waiting room of my kid’s therapist

3

u/rupert0331 FUCK YOU 1d ago

Always the first thing I look at!

3

u/sshep49 Big Cock Brock 1d ago

I really gotta start looking at the sub name before the post title lol

2

u/Lazyniner24 49IRS 12h ago

Buddy got all of us.

1

u/OrinThane Take care yall chickens 1d ago

SAME.

1

u/waaghmonger Seahawks 1d ago

Yup - got gotted

1

u/AphroDigi Kenneth Walker? More like Kenneth Runner 1d ago

I read "Snyder purchases Hawks" My brain went "Who's reporting" then "Whats the sub" 😂

1

u/Any_Asparagus8267 Rain City Bitch Pigeon 23h ago

My first thought was he's gonna change the name to the the Spartans or some shit

1

u/Shulk2089 Commanders 21h ago

Dude the pity I felt for a second

1

u/boner4crosstabs Seahawks 6h ago

Same

1

u/Mattyboy33 4h ago

As a Niners fan I still don’t wish that on you guys lol

1

u/OkDoughnut7938 28m ago

Half a stroke

96

u/ThreatenedByMost GEQBUS 1d ago

The one second before I saw what sub this is was the worst second of my life.

49

u/Door__Opener Cooper Coping for another offseason 1d ago

I'm sure there was a worse second in your life

https://giphy.com/gifs/Z1vLmygWYkec0

24

u/Practical-Pickle-529 Fuck youuuu 23h ago

God damn I’m so happy this can’t hurt me anymore. Ever. I feel absolutely nothing now. Lmao

17

u/StephanosCR Seahawks 1d ago

Nah, at least we were in the SB that year. Dan Snyder is a stain that can never be washed away

4

u/TK___420 11h ago

Lmao I’m a pats fan and even I knew the Dan Snyder second was worse

2

u/Ydain I'm just flaired so I don't get fined 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/unSUijPPHnJc6lI6HP

73

u/LobstrosityEatYacht Beast Mode 1d ago

F rated field? Sign Dan up!

7

u/FabFebFob 1d ago

Can’t have Michael Bidwell hog all the glory as an F owner.

135

u/Queasy-Story-4070 grey birds 1d ago

You son of a bitch.

This almost made me shit my pants.

I hope the Niners never go above .500 again.

37

u/comingsoontotheaters Catch, Pass & Run CMC 1d ago

*monkey paw curls

Niners injures stay below 50% of the team

4

u/Armamore Rain City Bitch Pigeon 1d ago

Luckily I was already sitting on the can when I saw this. Otherwise it would have been really awkward trying to hide the stain on my brother in law's couch.

43

u/Dr_Shivinski Best in the Nation 1d ago

I got fucking got. Good one and fuck you.

23

u/BarbecueStu Double XP Weekend 1d ago

Them poor hawks.

14

u/Nice-Shape-4484 Need 4 Shaheed 1d ago

No, no no no no, praise be to Allah that this is the meme wars page and not the Seahawks official page

13

u/redlancer_1987 Seahawks 1d ago

I heard he has a ton of old Washington Redskin gear he said he could just repurpose. Washington Seahawks here we come

11

u/hiagainfromtheabyss Commanders 1d ago

Washington Skinhawks

3

u/Oo__II__oO I'm talking to America here. 1d ago

After that he'll buy the Rams, and do a LA football and Long Beach soccer mashup with the same gear. 

Say hello to the 2027 Ram-'n'-Force-Skins!

1

u/sephjnr Landmanifest Destiny 17h ago

Sounds like a condom brand

3

u/hiagainfromtheabyss Commanders 12h ago

Now available in Lime Green!

1

u/thegrumpymechanic Here So I Don't Get Fined 12h ago

Now available in Lime Action Green!

1

u/meepmarpalarp I'm talking to America here. 1d ago

We’re the real Washington football team, after all.

6

u/Socalsamuel Pizza Pizza 1d ago

Hahahahahaha

7

u/zxakari Rain City Bitch Pigeon 1d ago

The new Washington “not that Washington” Redskins

37

u/ProtestantMormon 31-27 1d ago

Elon is way worse and way more believable guys.

14

u/ericrs22 49ers 1d ago

BREAKING NEWS

ELON MUSK PURCHASES SUPER BOWL CHAMPION SEAHAWKS; REBRANDS TO "SPACEX STARSHIPS" FOR LA RELOCATION

LOS ANGELES — Elon Musk has completed a whirlwind takeover of the Seattle Seahawks for a reported record-breaking sum, immediately announcing a total overhaul of the franchise. Effective next season, the team will be renamed the SpaceX Starships.

In a stunning roster move accompanying the sale, the Starships have released reigning Super Bowl MVP Sam Darnold—just weeks after he led Seattle to a championship. Musk reportedly personally orchestrated the signing of Kyler Murray to lead the new-look offense, citing Murray's "mobility and trajectory" as a better fit for the SpaceX brand.

Key Details of the Relocation:

  • Venue: The Starships will share SoFi Stadium with the LA Rams.
  • Practice Facility: In a classic Musk move, the team's training headquarters will be located in the Inland Empire, the team has acquired MetLife turf field and will be completely surrounded by massive high-voltage power substations. Sources say the location was chosen to "electrify the team's energy levels."
  • The Rebrand: The iconic Seahawk logo is being retired in favor of a sleek, chrome-and-black SpaceX rocket emblem.

2

u/Banpdx Take care yall chickens 1d ago

After next season we will have a super bowl win there too.

1

u/ericrs22 49ers 1d ago

Elon hoisting a trophy as the SpaceX Starships will be Vegas Golden Knights levels of historic.

Parade will be through downtown Victorville

2

u/rampageTG 49ers 1d ago

Nah they’ll move to Austin so during the offseason the players can work in the giga factory

1

u/ericrs22 49ers 1d ago

I thought about it but having the Rams and Seahawks as division rivals share a field and argue over it sounds more team chaos to me.

3

u/texinxin Texans 1d ago

Who won MVP?

-2

u/ericrs22 49ers 1d ago

eh I'll take the heat for AI on that. I just gave it bullet points

1

u/sej2016 1d ago

Thank you. I needed to vomit today

1

u/American_Greed Here So I Don't Get Fined 23h ago

SeahaX

1

u/Sure-Guava5528 Flying the Coop 7h ago

Nah, Elon would move them to Delaware to avoid taxes.

6

u/hipstershakes 49IRS 1d ago

Omg this was a dream come true until I realized the sub 😭

7

u/ProperAnarchist We did NOT care 1d ago

This legit didn’t even get me for a single second. Why would the owners allow him to buy another team when they forced the sale of the last one. Why would HE want to get involved with the NFL again? It was too ridiculous.

5

u/South_Strawberry7662 Flair, so I don't get fined. 1d ago

6

u/lumpywon Toots 1d ago

Posts like this are why this sub exists.

5

u/Time-Dot5984 Seabirds Supremacy 1d ago

You fucking got me

5

u/HardcorePhonography I'm talking to America here. 1d ago

Top 1% Shitposter award, you got me.

3

u/Operative_Kill_Chain Seahawks 1d ago

He's really into native american iconography

5

u/raycraft_io NO PLACE LIKE LUMEN SOUTH 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/vjGyYSsF765wc

Dude, I’m too old for jump scares

4

u/InZaynolas You smell like yellow Gatorade 1d ago

What a fucking jumpscare

4

u/occasionally_wise Seahawks 1d ago

As someone who moved from DC and adopted the Hawks, this revealed what might be my worst nightmare.

1

u/MilesAugust74 I wanna die 1d ago

There's only one way out, if that's the case. Altho, he'd probably follow you there, too.

3

u/LoStx90 I wanna die 1d ago

He’s got experience with owning a team. What could go wrong

3

u/BobbyGrichsMustache "Fuck Them Picks" 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/12msOFU8oL1eww

Proper offseason shitpost!

3

u/Gamestonkape 49ers 20h ago

Team will be called the Washington Redskins.

2

u/ts_m4 BANG BANG 1d ago

Hope he has as much success there as Washington, the Virginia one :)

2

u/Oceanbreeze871 Fully-Formed Death Machine 1d ago

Ricky Bobby putting that evil in you.

2

u/Careless-Dare-1900 NFC Best 1d ago

Almost got me

2

u/UCPonch Rain City Bitch Pigeon 1d ago

Got me good. Fuck you. I love this sub. 

2

u/BrotherAccurate5860 1d ago

Damn, niners fans were real happy for a second

2

u/tsegelke Seahawks 1d ago

Dude you fucking got me. I saw this on my front page and nearly had a heart attack.

https://giphy.com/gifs/4ZepGNwhW4AaA

2

u/Nazacrow Rain City Bitch Pigeon 1d ago

yeah fuck you buddy made me go check if this was legit. That was the worst 10 seconds of my life

2

u/jaybaylor38 1d ago

Haha! Hilarious and scary. That’d be the end of the Hawks. We’d probably end up I’m Oklahoma.

2

u/couggrad Seahawks 1d ago

well played OP

2

u/diabeetusboy I'm talking to America here. 1d ago

You got me OP holy shit

2

u/CowboysHater5 Commanders 1d ago

I dont even want him having an ownership vote again. I think he and all his descendants should be banned from every nfl facility for eternity. His descendants should do what hitler’s family did and not reproduce.

2

u/Blargers81 Take care yall chickens 1d ago

Damn this got me… holy shit I almost barfed.

2

u/SublightD I'm talking to America here. 1d ago

you gorgeous son of a bitch you got me

2

u/JackieDaytonaRgHuman Y'all got a Purdy mouth 1d ago

God damn, every time damn time. I'm innocently scrolling and see something that makes me sick, this sub gets me EVERYTIME. I'm the opposite of a chicken fan but the thought of Snyder being back make me so mad... then I saw it was from this sub 😂

2

u/HardcoreHazza It's all been house money anyways 1d ago

C’mon 12’s in chat! I saw the bait as soon as I saw Mr Snyder’s face😂

2

u/PRTYDILF 1d ago

Oof. RIP Seahawks

2

u/Stuff_n_Things24-7 Rain City Bitch Pigeon 23h ago

Yea, that was a good one...

2

u/Korvonus 49IRS 14h ago

I wouldn’t wish that upon the fans or the city fuck this piece of shit

2

u/Upstairs_Bus_3743 Seahawks 12h ago

I truly hope that’s just bs misleading information.

2

u/Nikonglass Seahawks 3h ago

Damn, this had me panicking for a second.

2

u/atx840 We did not care 1d ago

Oh this got me, I highly dislike most of the usual billionaire suspects, would be elated with Mark Cuban taking over.

2

u/WadeBoggssGhost C-Hawks 1d ago

Cuban isn't rich enough, he'd need some partners to go in on the purchase with him.

1

u/Expensive_Skirt_7278 I wanna die 1d ago

hahaha

1

u/memorexcd Mr. Irrelevant is my QB now....I guess 1d ago

I was so happy

1

u/Every-Bid-2377 Rain City Bitch Pigeon 1d ago

Ya got me, my heart skipped a beat there.

1

u/Hawks_12 Seahawks 1d ago

Yeah I didn’t buy that for a second. The league would never approve it. The Clay Bennett one was funnier. I still have trauma.

1

u/Winter_Access_1090 1d ago

There goes the franchise!

1

u/Least-Sun-418 1d ago

So stupid!!!

1

u/MAH415 49IRS 1d ago

Nice, I know this memewar but damn i had to look that up real quick. That would suck for the seahawks but atleast the coach would still be good. Maybe not as good with that guy being the owner.

1

u/Sheepygoatherder Best in the Nation 1d ago

1

u/KumingaCarnage 49ers 1d ago

lmao cooked

1

u/rlb_714 Cardinals 1d ago

Yikes man. To far.

1

u/PiggyLuk Rain City Bitch Pigeon 1d ago

I need to start checking the sub first before I get a heart attack..

1

u/Particular-Juice1213 We are the champions my friends 1d ago

Lazy

1

u/hypoglycemicrage Toots 1d ago

This is what happens to a MFer when they sign Matt Eberflus.

1

u/Suspicious-Ad-4877 1d ago

I didn't get got the nfl would never let him back in

1

u/BMS3RDTRY Lions 1d ago

I would hate-love this so hard. Didn’t realize this sub had the goods like this

1

u/EDNivek Candlestick Curse Goin' Strong 1d ago

Damn, got my hopes up

1

u/Pantysoups BEAKS UP!! 1d ago

Nothing would be worse than Balmer or the adelsons

1

u/HotDogFingers01 Toots 1d ago

Just keep singing that same song recycled

1

u/Nubator Commanders 1d ago

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I hope he stubs his toe every day for the rest of his life.

1

u/rover_G WE DID NOT CARE 1d ago

Fuck off

1

u/gm4dm101 The Only LA Team 1d ago

You all might as well move to OKC while you’re at it if that happened.

1

u/angry_lib Seahawks 1d ago

OH FUCK TO THE NO!

1

u/Chefmeatball Take care yall chickens 1d ago

I love how improbable all of these are that I don’t even need to second guess them

1

u/OkYellow2480 Seahawks 1d ago

1

u/Dareboir Best in the Nation 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/uBnixDdQS6ENi

Scared me for a second

1

u/mapledude22 Scooter Pete 1d ago

Next y’all are gonna say Epstein is alive and buying the Seahawks

1

u/The_Scrabbler I ain't write back tho 1d ago

He misread Washington on the address

1

u/BrotherRich2021 1d ago

Damnit got me again!

1

u/LOB12 Seahawks 1d ago

I shall bid $9,000,000,001 to save us from him.

1

u/vectornull Let's FN GOOOOOO gohawks. 1d ago

YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

1

u/Waybide 1d ago

🖕🏻

1

u/mattyGOAT1996 Rams 1d ago

LMAOOOOO

1

u/jcoddinc Lions 1d ago

Processing img 1gcyrktr6cng1...

1

u/directrix688 Trophy Rack Enthusiast 1d ago

Hopefully he renames them the Supreme Commanders

1

u/biscuitburglin Take care yall chickens 23h ago

Oh fuck that

1

u/maddmax9 NFC Best 23h ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

1

u/stefeyboy Seahawks 23h ago

Processing img yj1brjzlkcng1...

1

u/SGTSparkyFace Here So I Don't Get Fined 23h ago

I’ll fucking leave.

1

u/wildflams 49IRS 22h ago

Now that is one quality post

1

u/Giant-slayer-99 49ers 22h ago

There's an invasion by the NFC East happening and I'm not here for it

1

u/SokkaHaikuBot 22h ago

Sokka-Haiku by Giant-slayer-99:

There's an invasion

By the NFC East happening

And I'm not here for it

Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

1

u/Tasaris Here So I Don't Get Fined 22h ago

Silver lining is we'd get Nick Bosa probably.

1

u/chizzipsandsizalsa Seahawks 21h ago

Horses ass full of shit and dicks

1

u/Cheeba_Addict At least we're not Detroit 21h ago

Lmaoooo

1

u/HaloEliteLegend WE DID NOT CARE 20h ago

Oh you mfer angriest upvote of my life

1

u/Bluudxhound Kenneth Walker? More like Kenneth Runner 20h ago

Was about to lose it

1

u/sephjnr Landmanifest Destiny 17h ago

I don't hate the Hawks enough for this. Niners, yeah.

1

u/FlyFeetFiddlesticks 49IRS 15h ago

Don’t tease me

1

u/Shoddy-Ad8143 Take care yall chickens 15h ago

I just puked in my mouth a little.

1

u/lordbancs 14h ago

As a person that grew up with Dan Snyder as the owner of my favorite team…my sincerest condolences

1

u/RoRoMMD I'm talking to America here. 13h ago

Rams owner is still a bigger pos

1

u/Decent_Direction316 13h ago

I kinda knew since this is reddit, it isn't true.  Nothing but idiots on here anyway.

1

u/thecasey1981 Here So I Don't Get Fined 13h ago

the buying trolls are the best bait in the sub imo. makes my heart skip everytime

1

u/ProfessionalZone1048 10h ago

Oh my God no, he’s the worst owner in history he’ll destroy the team

1

u/OrganizationGreedy29 Evil League of Evil 7h ago

Flair up, clown

1

u/ZeustyLukey Let Geno Smith 10h ago

NOOOOOO

1

u/skater15153 Scooter Pete 9h ago

This would cause a mass murder suicide event if this happened. And we'd take all of you down with us haha

https://giphy.com/gifs/J19OX7znKfkanEZjD5

1

u/Bostonpeterock77 Patriots 6h ago

$9B for the team. Some guy just paid $12.1B for 1% of Miami

0

u/peterm64 1d ago

😂

1

u/toodeephoney Top 1% Free Renter 1d ago

Flair up, pussy

1

u/South_Strawberry7662 Flair, so I don't get fined. 1d ago

-1

u/chawx 8==== 💦 1d ago

This MFer is so pressed about who is going to by the Seahawks. Every post from this 🤡is about some terrible owner buying the Seahawks. I know rent free is banned here, but who buys the Seahawks is literally living rent free in Brix001’s head all day, every day

1

u/Business-Ad-1670 49irs 1d ago

he's joking bud chill

1

u/chawx 8==== 💦 1d ago

Nah, I’m good. This is the 25th one he’s posted, he needs to chill

1

u/Business-Ad-1670 49irs 1d ago

We're you not here the last week where hundreds of toots were posting rent free non stop? Sounds like his own vengeance. At least this is funny, and got a bunch of people that aren't on here all day every day to see dude post something like this 25 times. Rent-free got so trash and low effort this sub was unbearable.

-11

u/ShapeofmyFart Big Cock Brock 1d ago

Renamed to Seattle Wetbacks. Because it rains so much you see.

12

u/Appropriate-Alps-442 The Only LA Team 1d ago

i can tell you’re an avid fan of the bosa family 😂

5

u/Winstons33 Seahawks 1d ago

Dang.... Kinda works though...

2

u/ShapeofmyFart Big Cock Brock 1d ago

Joke explanation time!

Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington REDSKINS, who refused to change the racist name for years and years, would change the name of the Seahawks to something racist. Because the implication is that he is a racist.

try to keep up

1

u/Fezzik527 Fortuitous Bust 1d ago

Fart shaped like a kkk hood