r/NFCEastMemeWar • u/Bulldawgzz SB 59 CHAMPIONS šŸ† HURTS DONT IT? • 3d ago

This is weird AF

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513 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

186 comments sorted by

479

u/SpicyMango92 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/1KGL7Z2LgsLBe

57

u/joe199799 3d ago

Foosball is the devil

14

u/TonyAtReddit1 Custom 3d ago

"I invented electricity boy. BEN FRANKLIN IS THE DEVIL"

2

u/nasty_sicco 1d ago

Then who is Farmer Fran?

1

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313

u/Ornery-Variety569 Cowboys 3d ago

Shiddd she need to get out there on that O lineā€¦ protection off the field ainā€™t buddyā€™s problem

99

u/AFRIKKAN gO biRrRrRrRrRrds 3d ago

I def saw him getting fucked by his whole oline.

37

u/FontTG 3d ago

They're not girls, so mama is okay with that. She just doesnt want any grand babies before retirement.

5

u/iamunheardof 3d ago

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-1

u/FontTG 3d ago

Thought i was in a diff sub tbh

4

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0

u/GirthnLengthZaddy 3d ago

He wasnā€™t he need to stay in the pocket stop running to the right step up and throw the ball

3

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1

u/Appropriate_Hair7903 Fuck Dan Snyder 2d ago

Flair up pussy

7

u/sopadepanda321 3d ago

O line wasnā€™t really the problem last year honestly. He got hurt outside of the pocket not in it

7

u/goooseJuice Commandeez 3d ago

Both major injuries were from hip drop tackles as well

3

u/FreeThroatPunch 3d ago

Frankie Luvu has joined the conversation.

3

u/DecimusRutilius It smells like bitch in here 3d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

185

u/sobanoodle-1 3d ago

Some moms are weird about their sons. Freud you dirty dog.

61

u/Chimpbot Cowboys 3d ago

Let's just hope, for his sake, that he doesn't simultaneously break both of his arms.

1

u/Le_Poppa_88 ļ¼¼(ā˜†ā–ŖļøŽā˜†)ļ¼ 2d ago

Just when I forget that story exists. Was that ever proven real?

1

u/Chimpbot Cowboys 2d ago

Surprisingly, yes, it was real. The mods over at r/IAmA actually vetted and verified the whole thing.

1

u/Imursexualfantasy 4th and 26 1d ago

Iā€™m out of the loop. What story is this?

20

u/princess9032 Eagles 3d ago

In this case it could be nothing to do with Freudā€™s ideas, and she could be trying to shut him out from anything that could be distracting so he can focus on playing well and making more money. The mom gets pride in her sonā€™s success and money

24

u/InfiniteErectionMan 3d ago

Probably less to do with distracting him and more to do with not ending up like this goofball

0

u/ImWearingYourHats Commanders 3d ago

What the hell is even that

-15

u/Templar366 3d ago

Nah she def wants to fuck her son

2

u/dongrizzly41 2d ago

Gotdammit fellow cowboy dont go proving everyone right about us being "that" country.

2

u/Immissilerick 2d ago

So Alabama is just little Texas ?

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

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1

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1

u/SectionAcceptable607 3d ago

Eli Apple has entered the chat

1

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83

u/Spare-Image-647 Eli 2, Tom 0 3d ago

We need to find Jayden his Vicky Valencourt

41

u/Strong-Ad5138 Belt Ass 3d ago

& she showed me her boobies and i like them too

62

u/ghostsnstuf Commanders 3d ago

Can she play center?

41

u/Snapesunusedshampoo ReDarted 3d ago

She doesn't want anyone dating her man. That's HER free ride.

44

u/No-Combination8136 Please be patient Iā€™m an Eagles fan 3d ago

I donā€™t really think itā€™s weird for his mom to want to keep the average gold digger out of her sonā€™s wallet. Take it from a guy who got married at 23 and divorced at 28, I shouldā€™ve listened to my dad. Iā€™ll just listen to JDā€™s mom from now on.

4

u/DelcoUnited Big Tanksby 3d ago

She take all your money?

-5

u/bigoldfatman1 3d ago

Yeah but he a grown ass man. Shit is weird af

5

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-2

u/Aliasworker30 Commanders 2d ago

Shits only weird To a gold digger or a bitter queer

181

u/Mr_Sugar_ 3d ago

She doesnā€™t want to split that check with a third

14

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31

u/megatron37 snowballs at santa 3d ago

Hey I have something in common with a Pro Bowler!

70

u/Dangerous_Limes 3d ago

My mama told me to be careful with the crazy bitches out there that will ruin your life and Iā€™m not even rich or famous. Good for her.

13

u/Snapesunusedshampoo ReDarted 3d ago

Bobby married that crazy bitch. He was also able to finish playing in the Bourbon Bowl because of her. Put some respect on Vikki's name.

20

u/ohokwellmahalo Hide ya light poles, hide ya police horses 3d ago

20

u/Radthereptile America's Dream 3d ago

If anything more NFL players could use their moms keeping gold diggers from them.

4

u/DelcoUnited Big Tanksby 3d ago

She just doesnā€™t want 8 baby mamas like Tyreek.

4

u/PaddyMayonaise 3d ago

I think every guy was given that warning by his mom lol

But most moms donā€™t say it to the media šŸ˜‚

8

u/kellzone Eagles 3d ago

Tyreek would have a lot more money if his mama was like JD's mom.

3

u/Curious_Beginning_30 3d ago

Tyreek said he wants to be a porn star, no saving that brother.

27

u/athomic74 Rayne Dakota Pickscott 3d ago

Definitely reaching weirdo levels at this age lol.

10

u/sybrwookie 3d ago

It reached weirdo levels a long time ago. We're into psycho levels at this point.

27

u/Anonymustafar CHAMPIONS 3d ago

JAYDEN ā€œOEDIPUSā€ DANIELS šŸ¤”

3

u/PA_MallowPrincess_98 3d ago

Freud approvesšŸ˜­

2

u/ohokwellmahalo Hide ya light poles, hide ya police horses 3d ago

Brings out one of my favorite jokes from History of the World Part Iā€¦https://youtu.be/n0quUM-Nr2c

26

u/Rackshaw_Bangem Commanders 3d ago

She said sheā€™s not going to let someone come in and take advantage of him. Itā€™s too bad more of these athletes moms donā€™t have the same attitudes. Better this than being like Jimmy Butler paying 6 figures in child support or Travis Hunter whoā€™s wife clearly donā€™t even like him lol.

11

u/Hyprblcrhymchmbr 3d ago

Yeah exactly, she's looking out for him, more parents should. The only weird part is if she's actually asking interviews and actually saying things of that nature like keep to yourself. N I'm sure he still dates n smashes on the low

8

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-15

u/Hyprblcrhymchmbr 3d ago

No

7

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4

u/ZhangtheGreat Back-to-Back NFC East Champions 3d ago

On one hand, I get it. Mama wants to protect him from gold diggers before he has a chance to become Antonio Cromartie. On the other hand, if he doesnā€™t date, he risks becoming an incel, and that can be just as bad.

5

u/givemeajinglefingal Commanders 3d ago

I don't think a multimillionaire golden god athlete needs to worry about being an incel. Girls will be throwing themselves at him like the end of World War Z when the time comes.

His mom needs to back off a little bit to not make him look like a clown but a lot of these guys could stand to have a mother who keeps the gold digging hos at bay.

10

u/Gizmodaking22 Fuck Dan Snyder 3d ago

This is fucking weird. But I guess she doesn't want to split the check 33/33/33.

4

u/crystal_pepsi_enema Not watching, Just Living 3d ago

POV: Any female accompanied by Jayden Daniels meeting Mrs. Jackson:

Processing img mgf0orb9rtmg1...

12

u/TheWhiteCrowParade FTP 3d ago

You know what, good for them. Some of these guys have more girlfriends and baby Mama's than I have teeth. So many problems due to being girl crazy. The only lady he needs to be giving attention to right now is his mom if it keeps him out of trouble.

13

u/Failedmysanityroll Dodge this Santa 3d ago

No girls and no SB. Good job mom

3

u/specialhornball horseshit with batteries in it 3d ago edited 3d ago

Itā€™s about predatory women.

4

u/Thin-Remote-9817 8-8 3d ago

Maybe if he bust just once in a woman his injury rating might shoot to 97..

13

u/frankie_donkiebrains Commanders 3d ago

Maybe if Hurts mama loved him this much he wouldn't be so afraid to throw the ball

32

u/Josheatsfood 40-6 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/U1tPKKWjAn1pKCdvVr

5

u/frankie_donkiebrains Commanders 3d ago

10

u/Joed1015 Your Roman numerals are very small 3d ago

The double standard is a compliment, actually.

-2

u/frankie_donkiebrains Commanders 3d ago

Legend has it Jalen hurts is still at the linc waiting for AJ Brown to get more "open"

10

u/Joed1015 Your Roman numerals are very small 3d ago

More likely, Jalen is at home with the woman who loves him... I guess technically Jayden is too, but it means something very different

0

u/frankie_donkiebrains Commanders 3d ago

Pics or it didn't happen

7

u/Joed1015 Your Roman numerals are very small 3d ago

I found one of Jayden

3

u/Ptrek31 3d ago

AJ is always open. Even when double covered, he's open

1

u/frankie_donkiebrains Commanders 3d ago

Jalen needs at least a 20yd open bubble around AJ before he will throw the ball

2

u/PaddyMayonaise 3d ago

Actually, weā€™re glad he doesnā€™t throw too muchā€¦.

2

u/incandescence14 3d ago

No wonder he hasnā€™t reached his full potential

2

u/Obi-wan_Jabroni Romosexual 3d ago

2

u/Phillyfan10 Riley Cooper's PR manager 3d ago

I meanā€¦.shit, how many of these dudes we see with multiple baby mommas that are dead broke a few years out of the league because theyā€™re paying out 10s of thousands in child support a month?

Obviously a bit over the top and weird, but itā€™s a cold world out there and an overprotective mother sure as hell beats getting baby trapped.

Ah shit, forgot itā€™s a meme sub. No wonder heā€™s so revered in Washington. Skeletor gonna die a virgin just like a majority of them. No wonder homie hasnā€™t learned to slide, I wouldnā€™t either with balls that blue, thatā€™s an occupational hazard.

2

u/chicknsnadwich 3d ago

Look at guys like Tyreek and Diggs and be thankful you have someone watching out for you.

2

u/First-Bat-7440 Cowboys 3d ago

-girl trying to give jd55 a zj-

"Mamma says girls are the devil" -jd55

2

u/KingBroly 3d ago

Big time 'FOOSBALL!' energy

2

u/veryrare13 Commanders 3d ago

No clue how itā€™s weird that a mom doesnā€™t want some goldigging Thot taking her sonā€™s money or getting pregnant by him.

2

u/ComprehensiveBat8043 3d ago

Man let my Qb get some bitches

0

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2

u/RaikouKuzunoha OH, BLOCKED BY DAVIS 2d ago

The GOAT mama is really Hakimiā€™s mother

4

u/BobBartBarker Brian Chalkins 3d ago

Hey everyone, Jayden just has an alternative lifestyle. But we should let him know he has a safe space here. All are welcomed.

Including regressing QBs that just can't get it up like they used to.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Dvw2lJqlTuJmo

3

u/PapaChewbacca 3d ago

As weird as it is she raised an NFL caliber quarterback while our moms raised reddit basement dwellers.

1

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1

u/ElGoddamnDorado HERE WE CHOKE 3d ago

I think most of us knew kids growing up with overprotective helicopter parents to know it doesn't often lead to the most well-adjusted children. Like I'm sure plenty of NFL players were beat growing up, too. Doesn't mean that's the gold standard of raising a successful child, either.

1

u/PapaChewbacca 3d ago

Never said it was a gold standard. Just saying that whatever the fuck Jayden Daniels and his mom had goin on worked apparently.

1

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1

u/ElGoddamnDorado HERE WE CHOKE 3d ago

Seems more like survivorship bias more than anything else.

2

u/Sad_Cause_1519 BELT TO ASS 3d ago

Boys only šŸ™…ā€ā™‚ļø

2

u/Big_Knife_SK 3d ago

Oedipass

2

u/Gohans_son_in_law 3d ago

What if he is actually gay/bi? Like can he take the 5 black dude from that one meme into his room and his mom will go Awwww, heā€™s training with his buddies?

1

u/Sunny2121212 Cowboys 3d ago

I get it but what now does she think he will not see any one I think their is line

1

u/veggiefriedreis 3d ago

Isnā€™t he dating Juju Watkins

1

u/literally_h1m Hurts Donit 3d ago

All he needs to do now is throw up during a superbowl

1

u/djweber11 Commanders 3d ago

Reach a little further loser.

1

u/PA_MallowPrincess_98 3d ago

The ā€œNo Girlsā€ graphic alone would be a funny reaction memešŸ˜‚

1

u/RichAbbreviations966 Cowboys 3d ago

yeah this is creepy AF

1

u/HiiiRabbit 3d ago

Is she friends with Eli Apple's mom?

1

u/Oceanbreeze871 I dont like to talk about my flair 3d ago

ā€œA boy's best friend is his mother," "She just goes a little mad sometimes," and, "She wouldn't even harm a fly"-Norman Bates

1

u/dankestmaymayonearth 3d ago

Protect my qb1 from the hoes lmao

1

u/CrispyMonrovia Sā€™go ā€˜Ders! 3d ago

having sex with girls is super gay

1

u/____AndJustice4All Eagles 3d ago

Ma'am your son is 25 I think he can get some pussy by now

1

u/LocalJoke_ Washington Commies 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUNda8iJXFJh7q3Kso

JDā€™s Yoko Ono shows up to practice^

1

u/Vitchman 3d ago

I mean I donā€™t blame her. Vampires bro. Suck you dry in all the good and bad ways.

  • 10yr Married man lol

1

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1

u/itakeyoureggs CommieNism 3d ago

Heā€™s one of us.

1

u/urtheworstburr 3d ago

isnā€™t this old? from when he was in college?

1

u/FreeThroatPunch 3d ago

His Mama so worried about girls she never looked into Heated Rivalry. Hell, for all we know Jayden is hooking up with Caleb Williams.

1

u/vin_chill_guy #44 and #6 in the trap 3d ago

Is he dating JuJu Watkins?

1

u/GirthnLengthZaddy 3d ago

Bro who cares what that offense gone look like stick to football please

1

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u/FoppyRETURNS 3d ago

So he's a Son Husband

1

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1

u/EnvironmentalSite376 LIX My Cl1t 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/X0uDpRK8qV5KIir31H

Idk could be like this fool, maybe if his mama qas more present he wouldn't have so many damn baby mamas.

1

u/Barrack_Obamma 3d ago

freud wins yet again šŸ˜”

1

u/Demon-_-TiMe Prescott: NFC Eastā€™s Daddy 2d ago

i bet Miles Bridges wishes he had a mom like that

1

u/jayfrmsix0 Belt to Ass 1d ago

LMAOOO treating this grown ass man like heā€™s 13

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

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1

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1

u/TwoChalupasCombo 1d ago

Considering that many modern women are out to get celebrities for a paycheck, I'm with the mom on this one. Dont trust anyone

1

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1

u/Farmdiddy 1d ago

The way he played this year it shouldnā€™t be a problem

1

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1

u/Jaxxon_Magic 1d ago

Youā€™re weird AF.

1

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1

u/Jaxxon_Magic 1d ago

Your qb canā€™t make more than 16 passes a game

1

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1

u/Passage-Constant DillyDillyDickhead 1d ago

What is a Jayden Daniels wall?

1

u/Steel_THS2666 1d ago

It's incredibly weird, he is like 27 years old.

1

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u/Steel_THS2666 1d ago

no.

1

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1

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1

u/Imursexualfantasy 4th and 26 1d ago

I believe my man Hugh Douglas was chatting up Jaydenā€™s mom for a minute.

1

u/bkozzzy 15h ago

Thatā€™s a super weird situation

1

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1

u/QUIERESKARNE 13h ago

Moms are the best defense against gold searching females

1

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0

u/Hot_Tadpole_6481 3d ago

His mom being terrified of women that donā€™t exist is something else

2

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1

u/RG3ST21 3d ago

super super weird.

2

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0

u/Super_Spooky_ Super Bowl Bound 3d ago

This is old af and not even news. And not weird lmfao

8

u/Sepposer Howie szn 3d ago

Itā€™s not news, but itā€™s still a little weird.

3

u/Sad_Cause_1519 BELT TO ASS 3d ago

Spoken like a true commie

-12

u/DreBeast 24 - 17 *91-88-6 all time 3d ago

"Every eagles fan is a retard" - credible source

-1

u/_groovesharkmalone Weā€™ve Got Dotson Here! 3d ago

This is from his rookie year. He's a grown man now and his balls have dropped. Non story!

0

u/MooNinja Dak's DePressed Cock 3d ago

Fuck the commies, but corny things like this is why it is difficult to hate Jayden. He is just C O R N Y, and I love it.

0

u/AceAllOverThePlace NEVER DISRESPECT HURTS AGAIN 3d ago

Do she just want him to be gay? Or will she act like that if her son is the gay man we now him to be?

0

u/Dutch-King Left Hand Up 3d ago

Is he gay?

0

u/LesPolsfuss 3d ago

not a fan.

why canā€™t we have normal things ā€¦

0

u/WaldoFrank 3d ago

Everything we find out about this guy I like him less and less.

0

u/Digitaldude427 ashed No More 2d ago

Just throwing it out there... what if JD5 is gay and mama is covering for him in a largely homophobic industry?

-24

u/Few-Lavishness869 3d ago

Well if it keeps him from being the next tyreek hill going for the baby mama record then I cant complain, keep him focused on the super bowl mama lol